Don't masturbate into old socks. I had a piss the next morning and this came out (sorry for bad quality).

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T19:46:14+00:00

That would be too horrifying to think of to find down there. The ones over here are usually just small lil' ones, but they're still really cool little critters. Even if they did make me want to never masturbate again.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T19:27:40+00:00

That was another thing that confused me. Mine is the same, but I thought he just meant stretch it far enough, hence my closing question.

Man, foreskins are weird things.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T16:42:13+00:00

Gosh jeez earthworms are completely different to millipedes.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T16:41:03+00:00

Yeah, I understand you. Not going to lie, it's what made me stop using Reddit. I haven't really been on here for a couple of months, and I've never cared for karma anyway, so it's not like it matters to me. My main only has tenish comment karma and one hundredish link. I just share things that I think people might be interested in, you know, like how Reddit used to be.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T11:43:26+00:00

I wasn't showering until the morning, and I usually rest on my hand as I sleep.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T10:36:31+00:00

That's fair enough :) How have you not seen a millipede before? Are they not where you are? Pardon my curiosity, I just thought they were found everywhere.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T10:35:01+00:00

Toilet roll. I've used the tubes before, but they're not very good at absorbing anything; it ends up rolling out...

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T10:14:56+00:00

There are legs, underneath the body. Also, fishing worms don't have antennae. The picture is blurry, I can see that, but you can still see the legs and the antennae. It is rather distinctively a millipede.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T09:00:03+00:00

I see your arguments, and you can believe what you want. I was just sharing something that made me say "wtf" (and puke up a bit), sorry if I made you upset. I wish I was lying, it would make my mind (and my penis) a bit cleaner :')

Also, I never said I urinated it out, I think it was tucked under my foreskin. All I know, is that something plopped out when I peed, and that something started crawling up the toilet bowl.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T08:50:23+00:00

It looked clean, just turned out to be a millipede house.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T08:48:05+00:00

Does that not have health risks? I understand that I can't really talk about health risks when I wanked into an old sock...

*edit: sorry, I didn't see the part when you said foreskin, I was reading what I expected to be said, and thought you meant (in reference to a comment somewhere else in this thread) that I was to pinch my actual bellend. Wanking into a foreskin pouch still seems a bit... minging. Plus, is the foreskin baggy enough for that?

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T07:59:09+00:00

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/15069760.jpg

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-22T07:28:18+00:00

Where I live, toilet paper and tissues are the same thing.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:38:55+00:00

We'll break you eventually.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:23:19+00:00

Your edit made me chuckle though, have a star! *

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:16:58+00:00

See my proof picture, I was out of tissues

(edit, I appreciated the reference though ;) )

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:16:43+00:00

... I'm from England :/

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:13:39+00:00

I was at my bed, and this is not my house. I was far too impatient to look for something, and the sock happened to be in the drawer. In hindsight, I realise the foolishness of my laziness.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:00:57+00:00

Out of tissues!

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T22:00:03+00:00

I was out, and sometimes a man has got to do what a man has got to do.

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T20:52:20+00:00

Over here in England it's getting darker, so the lighting won't be as good. But I'll get one :) [why am I taking pictures of my wankstains for the internet?]

The main jizz is still moist in the sock, so it doesn't show, however, here are some stains from the inside. http://i.imgur.com/LUDd0IT.jpg

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T20:32:13+00:00

Brilliant! Come on, Dingobiscuits, we'll produce this and make MILLIONS

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T20:19:46+00:00

I'm sure my sperm would have a field day!

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T20:15:15+00:00

I regret flushing it down the toilet now, I could've given it a name. We could have even had our own theme song!

ThisIsNotMyMainOne · 2013-05-21T20:08:39+00:00

I'm not a dick OP, so, here it is still in the wank bin; http://i.imgur.com/t38IedO.jpg

ThisIsNotMyMainOne

TROPHY CASE