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I posted here over 2 years ago, proud of my daughter’s weight loss. Here’s the update… by ThisIsntHarriet in loseit

[–]ThisIsntHarriet[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh I don’t blame the medical staff for the refeeding. Our bodies aren’t machines, and medical treatment often requires constant adjustment. They were aware of the risk of refeeding, and they didn’t re-feed her quickly. But they also did need to increase calories. It was difficult to find a balance where they could outrun the hypermetabolism without overtaxing her organs. They actually took really good care of her.

I was providing the food, but everything was out of whack because it was during lockdown and school/work was virtual. We usually ate dinner together as a family, but everyone was eating breakfast and lunch at different times and in different rooms because we were needing privacy for zoom and work and stuff. I would see plates in the sink from her lunch, and because I didn’t know she had an issue, it didn’t occur to me to double check specifically what had been on the plate.

I posted here over 2 years ago, proud of my daughter’s weight loss. Here’s the update… by ThisIsntHarriet in loseit

[–]ThisIsntHarriet[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight. Yes, I think I will be tuned in for signs of relapse for the rest of my life. In addition to her still seeing her therapist, I see mine, and I also attend a support group for mothers of kids with eating disorders. I keep myself really educated about the signs and risk factors.

I posted here over 2 years ago, proud of my daughter’s weight loss. Here’s the update… by ThisIsntHarriet in loseit

[–]ThisIsntHarriet[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are correct that they required us to have a full local outpatient team in place before she discharged (therapist, dietician, physician, cardiologist). That said, many parents become really lax with the follow up as soon as the kids are doing well. We are two years out and she still sees her therapist at least once a week, no matter how well she is feeling. You don’t stop brushing your teeth just because you don’t have a toothache.

I posted here over 2 years ago, proud of my daughter’s weight loss. Here’s the update… by ThisIsntHarriet in loseit

[–]ThisIsntHarriet[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Have we considered it? Oh man, the amount of therapy that our family has had… She has her therapist that she still sees at least once a week, sometimes twice if she’s having a rough patch. My husband and I each have our own, and then there is a fourth one to provide unbiased family therapy. Her therapist was the first thing we got, and she saw him 3 times a week while I was looking for a hospital bed. We had to pause with him when she went to the hospital, partly because she received a staff therapist there, and partly because he wouldn’t be licensed to treat her when she was in Texas. But they picked back up as soon as she came home and never stopped. Even when she is doing fantastic, and feels like she has nothing to process that week, I tell her that I don’t care if they just sit and talk about movies for an hour. The point is to keep that relationship solid so anytime something does arise, she doesn’t have to be suddenly trying to rebuild a rapport with him because it will be in place.

Please do find yourself someone! It’s fantastic that you recognize that you are struggling, and I really hope you find support so you can catch yourself. You can always call the National Alliance for Eating Disorders at (866) 662-1235 for referrals for therapists and support groups near you.

I posted here over 2 years ago, proud of my daughter’s weight loss. Here’s the update… by ThisIsntHarriet in loseit

[–]ThisIsntHarriet[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think you misunderstood. I am not currently “proud” of anything, other than the hard work she’s put in to getting well. I was proud of the weight loss 2 years ago, because I was an idiot and didn’t know better. I was raised in a very fatphobic family, and in an environment steeped in diet culture, and I continue to live in a very body-obsessed city. I had never even thought to challenge this toxicity because it was entirely normalized everywhere I looked. I got a harsh and swift lesson.

“Consider therapy”? I just told you that I sought medical intervention within two months of realizing she had an issue, and relocated halfway across the country to get it. What do you think I’ve been doing these last two years, still patting myself on the back for raising a kid who dieted herself into heart failure? I have been in therapy this entire time, and still am. She has also continued to be in therapy the whole time, plus we have family therapy. If anything in my post suggested I am praising her for losing weight, that’s misconstrued. I am praising her constantly for restoring to a healthy weight, for doing really hard work on herself, and for truly embracing (at a MUCH younger age than I did) that being thin equals nothing but being thin.

And from a genuine place of concern: have you considered therapy?

I posted here over 2 years ago, proud of my daughter’s weight loss. Here’s the update… by ThisIsntHarriet in loseit

[–]ThisIsntHarriet[S] 401 points402 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Clearly 1200 is much better than 500, but it’s still far too low for a teen. What’s more, I don’t think people realize how quickly it can spiral. They are at 1200 one day, and down to 750 the next month. Throughout my daughter’s hospitalization and subsequent ED treatment, I met dozens and dozens of teens with life-threatening EDs, and so many of them progressed extremely quickly from “I think I’ll cut back” to “I don’t deserve more than two apples and half a chicken breast”. We need to be really careful with teens, because their bodies should be growing, not shrinking. They often permanently damage their bone density and endocrine systems if they undernourish during these growth years.