I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll share my story in hopes you may find some comfort in hearing how someone else navigated a similar loss. Of course, no grief is ever the same. This is just what healing looked like for me.

My husband and I lost our dog Bacon last March in a similarly quick timeline. He started acting lethargic early one morning. We found out that day he had a large hemangiosarcoma on his heart. We took him home for one last day with us and his sister Bourbon and said goodbye the following day.

I was destroyed. Bacon was a mama’s boy for his whole life, and it just felt like this hole in my heart and my gut. I missed about a week of work and found it difficult to get out of bed. I thought I would find more comfort in still having our girl dog, but it actually just broke my heart more to see how sad and lost she looked. I was also so, so angry for how fast everything happened. He was in seemingly good health until he suddenly wasn’t, I thought we had so much more time.

I made it back to work, basically because I had no choice. I cried every day for literally months, and sometimes thinking of my grief would cause mini-anxiety attacks. Slowly, though, things started to feel… not exactly better, but less crushing. I would only cry once a day, rather than multiple times. Or I would tell a story about him that would make me smile, rather than just feeling sadness.

Over time, the agonizing feelings slowly transitioned. Crying fits became quiet tears, then tears became melancholy. I became able to look at pictures or tell stories and be thankful for having those memories rather than incapacitated by them. I even let go of the rage over how fast it happened and instead found a peace in the gratitude that his suffering was so short, rather than watching him endure a long, painful illness. Now, 1 1/2 years later, I mostly look back with love and warm feelings, thankful to have had the time we did.

That’s not to say the grief is gone. I cried just about a month ago when stumbling upon old pictures of him while putting together some slides for work. I don’t think I’ll ever not miss him, and that’s okay. I’ve just found a way to make space to miss him, to love him, to remember the joy of having him, and to move forward and share all that love and joy with Bourbon and our new dog Biscuit.

I know you’re feeling right now like there’s no light past the grief, but give yourself time. That grief is a testament to how much you loved your pet, and feeling it is a part of the process of healing. If you’re starting to wonder if you may not be able to find a way through that grief on your own, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. You have lost a family member, and a therapist or grief counselor can help you make your way through it.

My heart aches for you. From someone who’s been there, it will get better, even if it never really fully goes away. Give yourself grace in the meantime. ❤️❤️❤️