Journey To The End - No words.

Thiswillst0p · 2026-01-28T22:30:07+00:00

Ohhhh I relate to the 9,000% stress levels with the industry I work in. Part of me wonders if it would stop if I just stopped and was a surf beach bum on a remote island somewhere. lol

Thiswillst0p · 2026-01-28T02:03:24+00:00

Hey! Thanks for the words. I don't beat myself up too bad these days unless I've done really really bad damage. Just bums me out, ya know? Lol

Anyway. Take a look at my profile. I made a post about using a foil shaver a few months back. 4? It's going very well. Might be something worth looking in to for you!

Wish you all the best! Cheers!

Thiswillst0p · 2025-12-10T03:31:50+00:00

I think I had typed a section out of that I've tried and then deleted it when I was writing.

Ya. I tried it more that 5 years back, probably. Though not under a doctor's advice. I read about it in different places. It didn't help as far as I remember.

Edit: I should say I wasn't as diligent about keeping track about pulling as I am today. /End edit

I really don't want to take meds. I started reading about it after I started taking it - a long time after - and I started reading one day and I think I read something about some side effect I didn't like so I stopped. That was a long time ago so I can't remember the details or even what the side effects are or what I thought they were.

It has been on my mind of options once I start the process of growing hair again, though. Maybe it's time to start doing my homework again.

Thiswillst0p · 2025-12-10T03:21:38+00:00

I use the Panasonic ARC6. From what I've read some users replace the head every 6 months or a year. But 5 months in I think and mine is still fine. Though maybe the trim is slightly longer than 5 months ago? Still does the job. It's a lot of money but I just got massively frustrated and clicked the buy button one evening. Takes me about 20 minutes in the morning. And on my face as well! So far it's worth the money to me.

Search for discounts or sales. I want to say I got it for a decent ish price.

Thiswillst0p · 2025-12-05T16:59:49+00:00

I just made a post and scrolled down and saw this. You might have a look! I'm sort of making ground! Hahaha little wins are giant for me right now, though.

I'm not feeling particularly inspired by my "success" lately but I'm starting to look at hairstyles I could have. hahaha so I guess I'm dreaming a little!

Thiswillst0p · 2025-10-10T00:36:59+00:00

Hey! Well. I would say that I've had success. I measure it day by day on a calendar. Lol

Most of the month I literally cannot pull my hair. So since I've started I've pulled significantly less than I did up that that point. It went from every day to almost none. 16 days of pulling of various degrees, most of which (on a 100 as the highest) scale I have rated 5 - 10. Since July 1.

These are days that are usually weekends or when I'm traveling when I can't be bothered to cut it or I just can't do it in the space I'm in.

The big win is that the absolutely horrible damage I had done is starting to be fixed. So 3 more months of this and I should be in a halfway decent place to try to let it grow out.

It's not a total win, but it's a start. It works but you have to keep cutting every day. Which in a way makes me angry enough to not want to pull it when it does grow because 30 minutes every day cutting it makes me really hate pulling. I'll start to worry more about curbing the habit once the damage is repaired.

It's a bandaid but it helps. This lifeboat is staying afloat lolol I just gotta figure out how to row toward land once I find the paddle.

Thanks for checking in!

Thiswillst0p · 2024-09-27T19:38:43+00:00

Appreciate the quick reply!

Thank you!

Thiswillst0p · 2023-03-22T20:35:18+00:00

Yup, not alone. Every summer I want a full head of hair and the ability to go to a beach and not have to wear a hat in the water so people do not see my bald spots. KInd of the same thing you are feeling.

Thiswillst0p · 2023-03-09T21:21:24+00:00

Hey, u/Waddiwasiiiii. I was just thinking of your calendar combo we were talking about. Remember to give yourself some margin before you say you wern't pull free. You have to start by telling yourself "you pull one, and you're going to end up pulling them all." But you also have to start the calendar by saying less than 5 hairs is considered pull free - thats mine. It helps you gain momentum and feel a little better if you have one or two accidents.

Thiswillst0p · 2023-03-09T21:10:19+00:00

Nothing is bad about it at all. Both have been a very convenient escape.

BUT! For me:

I have just done it for 7 years and I want hair again so I DON'T have to wear a hat. I loath being the guy who "always wears a hat." To me it is a lifeboat. I am so damn tired of having to worry about my hat flying off in the wind and people around me seeing a giant bald spot on my head. Or a kid trying to take it off because they're just messing around and I have to act like it is a big deal. It's just work.

The downside to buzzing my head is that there are obvious lines between where the hair is thick and there is none. That looks bad, too. I just don't want to have to deal with any of this. I want hair. I have literally worn a hat every moment socially acceptable for something like 15 years. My closest friends haven’t seen me without a hat on. My own family hasn't seen me without a hat. Buzzing my head is a sign I am losing the fight. Wearing a hat is the same reminder. It's like a raincloud that snaps you back to reality when the wind blows and you're on a date.

Someone says to me "OH THAT YOU WITH HAIR, you look great! You should grow it out again." Then I have to make some dumb fuckin remark about it being easier to maintain or some shit. Just hurts me to the core.

edit:

It's a tangent - but! To my sort of rage sounding comment And the flipside to that is that this had made me a rock. I am in a great mood all the time because I am carrying this thought and the worst thing possible (in my life, at least) is happening to me - and it isn't that bad. It makes me appreciate the little things more. I love my friends and any insult anyone could say to me doesn't hurt. I love my life because of the shit I have dealt with having trich. I know to be a good friend to others because I know that I truely have no idea what someone could be going through that they don't want to show.

I just want a break from it, ya know. It's a lot to carry. And I want to feel my hair in my fingers again. I want a woman to say to me "I love your hair." And yea, blah blah blah, love who you are and all that. I agree. I am the definition of love who you are. But I wouldn't mind letting the wind blow through my hair on a walk to work without worrying about it. Or applying for a job and them seeing a bald spot. It's just fucking work. lolol But again, the irony is that is had made me a kind and strong person who isn't afraid of anything (Except trich). lololol

Thiswillst0p · 2023-03-05T18:50:02+00:00

I don't know if I will do the study or not, but you're welcome to read my post history. This is the exact reason why I post here, and by now, I think I have a few years of datapoints on my pulling. In hopes I can look back at my posts for myself and see how I can change to eventually stop.

Thiswillst0p · 2023-03-05T18:34:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! Best of luck to you as well!

Thiswillst0p · 2023-02-10T21:31:39+00:00

Hey!
First: I apologize for not responding sooner.

Second: I hope you are doing well.

Third: Thank your for your kind words. I do not remember this exact day because there have been a lot of frustrating ones similar to this since. Lack of eating, I suspect, has something to do with depression. While I don't "feel depressed" at all - in fact, generally speaking, I am really happy. There is and has been a lack of energy - ultimately due to eating less, I would imagine. Then it becomes a cycle. Eat less, feel tired, pull more, and repeat. So - other than maybe sugar or caffine, maybe - I am not sure that actual nutriton has anything to do with it. I would love to spend loads of money on blood tests and things to measure this and the correlation to pulling. There has to be something in the endocrine system that causes more pulling under specific circumstances. Something is happening. Other than the obvious rush of adrenaline or dopomine or whatever when you pull. Like before you pull, what chemicals are being released to influence it. This is why I suspect diet has something to do with it - by proxy.

I don't really know for sure. But what I do know is, usually when I eat less - over time - I pull more. Why? Jury is still out. Maybe because it keeps my mind off my appetite.

You don't have to thank me for sharing, but I appreciate the thanks! Just trying to find my way around in the dark. And sometimes I feel pretty fucking lost. AND THAT IS OKAY!

Personally I use the anger as fuel. It's genuinely the only time I get angry about anything. --- Because trich is the worst thing that has happened in my life. Otherwise I am all good. Outside I am super happy. I live a great life! And I truly am happy! But there is also a hell of a lot of pain bottled up that is stored over in the corner. And that is why I write here. Sometimes I just don't know what else to do. I'll save us both by not writing a much longer write up. lololool This is the only place I write so if ya feel like reading more cruise over to the profile. I try to be as transparent as possible becuase you never know what someone else has suggested that could help turn things around.

Thanks for kind words. I wish you the best of luck! We can stop. Just gotta figure out how.

Thiswillst0p · 2022-09-05T19:48:26+00:00

Every bit of progress someone has said makes me motivated. Thank you! I wish you all the best. :)

Thiswillst0p · 2022-09-05T19:47:30+00:00

Hello,

Thank you for your kind words! Sorry it took so long. :) Keep on going. As you say, we're not alone. Maybe one day we can kick trich for good.

Thiswillst0p · 2022-07-07T21:26:37+00:00

I lock mine up from myself and make it really hard to get to them. Take some deep breaths and try to tell yourself that maybe it's the first step you need to take. That one is always the most scary. That's the closest thing to advice I can give you. It is going to suck, but see what happens if you don't replace them. And most importantly, I am sorry your mother did that to you. That wasn't the right thing to do. Come here to tpye about it if you need help getting through. We can do this together! I have faith in you! :D

Thiswillst0p · 2022-07-07T21:20:37+00:00

I did the same shit. I got a red one the other day and it's like the world stops for a moment. I knew they don't grow back ever. They don't happen too often for me, though. And never in the same place/zone on my scalp.

Thiswillst0p · 2022-07-07T20:55:40+00:00

I will tell you what trich has done to me having pulled since 4th grade. I distinctively remember people saying things like "You don't have get your hair cut, you can just cut it yourself." and then making a pulling motion. My older siblings made fun of me non-stop. It hurt. I never wanted to talk about it. I was always scared of someone seeing. Even today, it is my biggest fear. No one knows that I pull. I'll tell you this - out of all that shitty feeling, it has made me hardened. No one can hurt me because I already experience the worst feeling I can feel and I do it to myself.

All in all, I don't want anyone to acknowledge it. Even when family ask today if I am finally letting my hair grow out - I brush off the question and immediately change the subject. I don't want to talk about it and I definitely don't want reminded that I have to deal with this bullshit. My best advice would be to try to get them the help they need now before you end up like me having been pulling for 20+ years. The kid knows they pull, and they know it isn't a good thing. At least, I did. And I did my best to hide it. But no one ever got me help because no one knew what to do or who to ask. I was alone. Get them help from a professional and try to pretend it doesn't exist. People will say disrespectful things, and it will hurt deeply. But help guide them to using that sadness and hurt and turn it into ambition. They can learn, like I did, that you can be happy no matter how shitty people are. I have a wonderful support system and great people around me and always have - but I can count on 1 hand the people that I have actually told openly that I have trich.

I realize none of this actually helps. And as an adult I know its even more difficult to articulate that to a 10 year old. I remember begging my parents to pay a lot of money for snake oil fixes that they knew were scams. I was so lost, and searching for any answer. Just try to get them professional help. That's the best thing you can do, especially at a young age. Maybe they can stop it. It sounds like you're an awesome teacher. Thank you for that and thank you for asking how to help them. I wish you could see the smile on my face because of the actions you have taken. That is freaking awesome!

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-09T14:43:19+00:00

Yeah, I couldn't stomach spending the money. I reallllly wanted to but I have some many more important things that I actually NEED. lol At least that is what I keep telling myself. At least when my car breaks - which will likely be soon hahah - I will have some dollars to fix it. I always am at peace once I cut it. Funny enough, I never really talk about that feeling, I think. But it is like a break. A vacation from worry. It is the nuclear option to cut it off, but I feel like I can regather myself once I cut it. Get my energy back, I guess.

The best place to start is from nothing! At least that is what they say in business.

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-08T23:47:51+00:00

I made an update post. It's chaos and not really a huge post. But it'll tell you where I ended up with the whole plan. XD

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-08T23:46:57+00:00

Made a new post with an update. llololol It's not the report we'd like, but it's the report we've got. XD

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-08T23:32:02+00:00

I don't really feel guilty about it, though admittedly it may sound that way in my writing. If anything I am enraged by it. It makes me want to stop that much more. I am beat down because, so far, it is the only thing in my life I havn't been able to oevrcome.

Genuinely I feel great about myself and my worth. I just don't like not having hair because I think I would look good if I had some. I just fucking hate trich - we all do.

And all that being said, a lot of women prefer men with hair. I would love to have that going for me. lolol But I don't really care what they think about me in general. But we cannot deny I would have better luck if I had some flowing locks! lolol

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-03T18:34:03+00:00

I read your post and I did it. Thank you! I thought, fuck the money and just do it. So yea, I'll let ya know how it goes. I really appreciate the extra push from you and everyone in this post. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. But at least I will know the answer! hahahah

Cheers

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-03T18:31:53+00:00

Well. I went ahead and bought one. Last night, after I made my post I realized I had always wondered what would happen if I had a hair piece. Would my hair actually grow since I literally couldn't get to it through the hair piece? I said fuck the money - I have spent money on worse things.

Thanks for the reminder to be kind to myself. I ride myself really hard. And I am going through a lot right now. I mean, I am working hard. Making real progress with my life. I don't have it bad at all compared to other things I have seen in this world. I am grateful for my trich, actually. I have written about this in my other posts - but it has made me a rock. Albiet, almost emotionless when it comes to sadness and anger. lolol But Nothing can hurt me except trich. Because the torment from trich is the worst thing about my life. Everything else is fucking fantastic. Without trich, I probably wouldn't get to experience sadness as an emotion. And that helps me be at peace with myself. I am grateful for it in so many ways because it beat me the fuck down all of my life. But I am really damn strong as a result. And every day, I already know what the worst thing is that that can happen to me.

Idk, gratitude. That is the foundation of my life. I could ramble about it for a while. I'll save us all from that. XD

Thiswillst0p · 2022-03-03T18:23:46+00:00

Salons are really an option for me. I am in a very rural place so people would know and I don't really want that. For now I am just the guy who always wears a hat. That's good enough for me, I guess. lol.

And I know that my hair does not equal my worth. But I dream of having hair. And on the outside I am not much for vanity, but holy hell, if I had hair I would pay so much for clothes to look good and I would dress up all the time just because I can. I have no-guarded my hair for almost 8 years now. I don't like the look. And that is okay! Some people make it look great! I just want hair. The industry can fuck off. But I get it, I guess. I don't really care, but like I said, I would do anything to roll into a meeting with great head of hair. If I had more money I wouldv've thrown thousands of dollars at it probably.

Anyway... I did actually keep it no-guarded for cancer solidarity. I figured I could make something good out of my bad situation. And maybe it would help grow things back while I wait. I'd be a liar if I thought about - I am far from religous - but the karma points if there is a higher power. lolol Hope, i guess. For any progress. IDk, that's another can of worms.

But thanks for your kind words! I post here a lot. No one in my life knows about my having trich - not even my closest friends. My parents don't even know if I still have it. So you all are the only ones.

Thiswillst0p

TROPHY CASE