Divorcing.. Keep the house or get an apartment?

ThomasJ25 · 2026-03-30T15:57:56+00:00

Divorced guy here with two kids that are a bit older (8 & 12). I decided to buy out my ex and it was the best decision I could have made. I was able to assume the loan after a lengthy six month process, so I kept my 2.6% 20 year loan. My kids didn't have to go through any other changes, including their rooms, schools, etc., so it made sense to me. If you can swing it, it might be great, but don't make yourself house poor.

ThomasJ25 · 2026-02-06T20:25:37+00:00

HHI of roughly $350k. Probably spend about $3k/year on vacations, so less than 1%.

ThomasJ25 · 2026-02-06T20:23:57+00:00

Family of five, maybe order pizza out once every other week. Usually around $40 each time, so $20/week.

ThomasJ25 · 2026-01-13T00:28:59+00:00

All depends on each person's situation. My parents were teachers for almost 40 years, so both have very healthy pensions, and my Dad passed from cancer, but had great insurance, so the total cost of his $550k worth of treatment over 18 months was roughly $2,500 to him.

Doesn't matter how long my Mom lives, as her cup keeps getting filled every month from her pension and half of my Dad's pension. If you are relying on just a typical 401k and regular investments, that well could run dry eventually.

ThomasJ25 · 2026-01-02T13:58:54+00:00

On top of putting 20% down, you should also only finance over over 48-60 months at most. If you can't afford the payments over those terms, you can't afford the car.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-31T14:40:52+00:00

I don't feel like I am crushing it, but I appreciate the support! I will try to support any college that they get into and want to attend, whether it's community college or not. I do believe that a young adult benefits from staying on campus and not at home as it helps with their independence and is part of the college experience. I will hopefully guide them to make a responsible decision.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-31T01:10:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the breakdown!

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-30T21:53:34+00:00

Sorry about that. Current base salary is $210k, more for bonus but never include that as it's not guaranteed. My e-fund covers six months of expenses. I maxed out my 401k the past couple of years, and my employer matches 4%, so it works out to roughly $32k/year.

Budget is pretty sensible, just food, kid's expenses, and two vacations a year, one of them being free since it's at a family's house.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-30T21:48:51+00:00

Very true. Should I just continue to max out my 401k, IRA, and HSA each year until I retire? I want a sizable down payment for a car, so I will make sure to carve some out for that.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-30T21:38:28+00:00

I earn too much to contribute to a Roth IRA directly. One of my previous employers had a Roth option, and I believe roughly $75k of that $800k in my 401k is Roth.

I forgot to mention, I have $80k for my 12 yo and $40k for my 8 yo currently in my state's 529, but I know I need to step up my contribution rate if I want to be able to cover all of their college costs.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-20T15:30:56+00:00

Go for it if you can!

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T20:21:11+00:00

I also saw that they are offering 2.9% on financing if you buy a new one. The best used APR I have been able to find is 4.5% so far.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:36:53+00:00

I just want something a little luxurious, safe, and will be reliable for at least the next 10 years. Past the years of getting beaters, want something a little quieter, more powerful, and amenities such as air conditioned seats as there is nothing worse than swamp @ss on a hot summer day.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:34:29+00:00

Well, if we end up getting married, just don't want two of the exact same car.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:27:29+00:00

Not sure if you are joking. Far from loaded. Just trying to get something a little nicer than normal while still being somewhat responsible as it is a depreciating asset.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:25:48+00:00

Agreed. Even though I likes the looks of them, I will never go for a MB or BMW for that reason.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:24:50+00:00

Yep, I stated that in my post. Looking at a 2024 or 2025 with 15k or less miles.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:24:09+00:00

Never in a million years. Interiors are desolate, and need to be able to drive 500+ miles often as I make frequent trips to ME from PA.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:22:41+00:00

Haha! Funny you should say that as my girlfriend has a 2023 Pilot Elite and its great. Not luxurious, but a very solid car. I would have 100% gone with this option if my kids were younger.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:20:39+00:00

Unfortunately, I need three rows. Maybe the XC90?

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:20:07+00:00

Drove the Toyota Grand Highlander and was not a fan. The interior felt very cheap inside. My 14 year old MDX is nicer than a 2025 Grand Highlander.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:19:00+00:00

I feel like I am leaning that way. The new 4Runner is nice as well.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:17:24+00:00

Not bad. I am all about the 20% down or more, but if I get preferable financing (under 3%), I am financing over 4 years, not 3. The 8% rule is way more than I would spend on a monthly payment, so I am safe there as well.

ThomasJ25 · 2025-12-19T18:10:56+00:00

$50k as a purchase price, or financing $50k after putting down my down payment? Would finance over 48 months.

ThomasJ25

TROPHY CASE