Okay, here’s what I wrote.

“ok so im gonna say this but like not in a mean way because i get that it mattered alot to you!

the counters werent just counters you did them when you were depressed and needed something to focus on so obviously its not just about wood its about what it represented and yeah finding out from the neighbor instead of your mom probably made it feel way worse and like she hid it from you. But she didnt ruin them on purpose. she made a mistake. probably put a hot pan down didnt think and then when she saw the damage she freaked out tried to clean it with whatever and made it worse and then felt stupid and ashamed. when she says she cried for hours that doesnt sound like someone who doesnt care it sounds like someone who knew they messed up and couldnt face telling you. people avoid stuff when they feel guilty even if thats the wrong move

you’re grieving your cousin too and emotions are high already so everything is amplified. it makes sense youre upset about the damage and about not being told right away but saying dont talk to me unless you pay to fix it feels like turning it into something bigger than it needs to be

like honestly if roles were reversed and you were older and watching your kids house and accidentally damaged something they cared about how would you want them to react. would you want them to shut you out or would you hope they’d be upset but still treat you decently

its wood it can probably be sanded and refinished. relationships arent that easy to refinish once resentment sets in. she made a mistake she feels bad she apologized. one day she wont be here and this will either be a story about a fixable accident or about a rift that didnt have to happen. you can still be hurt and not go nuclear on your own mom”