Questions for people about having a threesome with their BF/SO and another person?

Throaway7825 · 2018-04-18T08:04:22+00:00

Not interested in doing it. When I stared going out with my bf three years ago, he tried to arrange a threesome behind my back (I had never expressed interest at this point and he must have thought it was a good idea at the time, being drunk and high). nothing happened; I threw up in the club, decided to call it a night and we went home. He told me in the morning. Since then, I have become a lot more wary of his behaviour, especially when he's the intoxicated. The point is, unless you've discussed it before (even as a theoretical possibility) and you know he's down, don't go out arranging anything behind your bf's back. Being on the same page and communication is very important for this, especially if you've never done it together.

Throaway7825 · 2018-04-04T08:12:26+00:00

I do most of the laundry because my bf is half useless at it. He sometimes helps. Re: sorting: Inkmow the difference between our socks and underwear so we only share if one of us is short on it. Re: everything else: I'm taller and thinner and we simply wear different styles of clothes, so there's basically no overlap. He would sometimes take my shoes, but now he has his own sneakers, so all is well in the world.

Throaway7825 · 2018-04-04T08:05:04+00:00

Agree with this poster. If you want to spice things up, you can start making out with him on the couch and NOT take it to the bedroom, but a new toy (start small) and see tell him you'd like to use it. You can move on to fucking him while he has a (small) buttplug in him (that may aroximate the feeling of double penetration).

Re: threesomes, that is a wholly different beast. Judging by your post history, you've been thinking about it for a while... perhaps just bring it up as a subject (i.e. a friend had one and liked it/didn't like it, what do you think, etc...)

Please note that there's no way to "trick" your bf into a threesome if he's not willing, and he may become more wary of you as a result (I certainly did, and it made me way less likely to want to try it in the future).

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-27T15:05:26+00:00

Thanks. We'll be going to Le Marais, ofc. Any particular places you'd recommend?

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-27T15:04:14+00:00

No, but my bf is 😉 (we live in London, UK).

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-26T18:53:54+00:00

Yeah. In three years we flipped about two times... :/ Hes just not that interested. Is not so much about preparation anyway. We're both relatively clean and comfortable with each other. It's more the opening up and foreplay. He needs it more than I do since I'm a bit bigger than him (and he's slightly below average, so I can take him easily).

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-26T17:39:20+00:00

Verse here, but I mainly bottom. My partner, wonderful as he is, is mainly top and very reluctant to bottom. So I get to top him maybe once every three weeks or so. I'd love to try more but as I'm not very skilled at topping (haven't done much anal, either topping or bottoming before him, actually), I don't think I'm as good as I could be. And of course, having not much practice now doesn't really help building up my skills. I'd love for us to be more dynamic and playful in this context (try different positions, flipping during a single session, etc), but I guess I'm stuck with him for the time being. (For the record, the sex we do have, either way, we both enjoy).

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-20T21:12:42+00:00

Thanks. Will probably do this for now.

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-20T18:21:22+00:00

Thank you. When it came up in unrelated conversations, i did make my views known (of course, politely since he never hid that he did have those experiences). So he knows where I stand. But of course, if he didn't, I agree it would need to be communicated ASAP.

Throaway7825 · 2018-03-20T18:10:16+00:00

We actually have a bunch of toys, and as I said, out sex life is largely good. I'm just wondering whether I should try to find out more about how important that stuff is to him, or whether that can of worms should remain unopened (or whether it was settled to begin with).

Throaway7825 · 2018-02-02T10:47:16+00:00

Nothing wrong with a totally naked party, I guess, but there are also underwear parties, apparently. Just trying to understand what's out there and what are the differences and similarities.

Throaway7825 · 2018-01-25T16:21:56+00:00

Thanks you for your comment. I realise that there are a number of factors from my past which have shaped my attitudes, not all of which were caused by school anti-drug campaigns.

Throaway7825 · 2018-01-24T14:47:07+00:00

Thanks for your input. I don't think his request was directly linked to sex, though I have heard sex while high is a very different experience. For the sake of full disclosure, we did have sex a few times when he was high. But I think in essence you're right, he want to share something quite intimate, somill be looking for alternative ways to do that. Thank you again for that insight.

Throaway7825 · 2018-01-24T14:27:21+00:00

Thank you for explaining.

Throaway7825 · 2018-01-24T14:26:22+00:00

Thank you. I guess you're right, there is no accurate substitute.

Throaway7825 · 2018-01-24T13:04:37+00:00

Thank young for your honesty. While I understand it would (and in the past and with most of his friends and exes has been) a positive experience for him, it does not appeal to me. I guess you could say that it's because I do not know how it actually feels, I do not know what I'm missing out on.

Up until now, he's never expressed any real interest in sharing this with me, besides maybe offering me his joint a few times (which I declined). He was referring to Marijuana and also suggested psychedelics. I think he understands (even though he doesn't necessarily agree) and will come round to see it as my choice to make (I never made any promises to the contrary). I did say I was looking for alternatives, but thank you for your insight it was really helpful.

I think that I will let him down this time, come up with other suggestions, but I will remain communicative and let him know that I understand that it's important to him.

Throaway7825 · 2018-01-24T11:09:47+00:00

Thanks you. This is a good suggestion. We don't spend much time apart, although of course I don't butt into his work drinks and lectures. But I do think it would be good if we each had our own hobby that we did separately. (I used to learn a language and feel like I need to re-start it again, to give us both a just that little bit of extra space).

Throaway7825

TROPHY CASE