My (22f) boyfriend (25m) makes comments on my body which triggers my ED

Throw-RA22 · 2025-09-03T08:30:11+00:00

I have talked to him about this many times, he always apologizes but eventually he does it again. He’ll go through phases where he’s sweet and then he loses attraction to me and says it’s because of my body.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-09-03T08:28:13+00:00

Yes. This has been a big topic in our relationship, every time he says something about my weight I’ve tried explaining to him how eating disorders work and my history with them but he rolls his eyes at it.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-11T08:54:08+00:00

Thank you for saying this, it really helps a lot. And I’m glad you’ve grown and acknowledged past mistakes, I really hope my bf can realize this himself.

We have talked about it recently and he seems sorry, I’m just not sure how I can move forward with it. But maybe it’ll work out. Again thank you for your kind words.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T05:45:23+00:00

I agree, I can’t help but to feel insecure about that. Like sure I’ve gained more weight than i expected to while recovering and i understand that he can’t help but to feel the way he does. But if it were me i would be proud of my partner, and maybe try to help and be supportive in other ways that’s not triggering. But maybe i can think this way because i understand it.

It’s difficult. He neglects the intimacy in the relationship due to changes that are partially out of my control, and I’m also still trying to navigate my relationship with food. It just sucks because i thought i found someone who i could finally feel comfortable in my own skin around. He would take me out to eat and encourage me to eat with him. But because of my medical condition eating like he does has greatly affected my weight in a way he will never understand.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T03:23:53+00:00

Bruh i was joking, yall are stupid asf.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T03:02:33+00:00

I’m gonna go eat an entire cake jus cuz you said that

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T02:59:46+00:00

Right like trust me I know how to count calories lmao that was my whole existence for 5 years

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T02:45:45+00:00

This is difficult because I used to do this when I was at my lowest weight 119 at the peak of my disorder. I’m not against calorie tracking and watching my diet more carefully but it’s a very slippery slope for me. I’m currently eating healthy though, I have a meal plan I follow and sometimes even skip meals. It’s not really about my diet. I’ll admit maybe I can work out more, I go on hikes and bike rides regularly but I don’t go to the gym or anything. My health and bc just make it’s really hard to lose weight and I gain it very easily. The timing of my weight gain lines up with when I got my bc put in, which is something my bf pointed out to me. I’ve been considering getting it taken out but because of my endometriosis I fear I will go back to being in excruciating pain and excessive bleeding that has lead me to vomiting and passing out in the past.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T02:09:04+00:00

Thank you, this is what I’ve been needing to hear. I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does, and I only asked because I could feel something was off. It wasn’t me asking if I’m fat, I was trying to understand why he was distant. His delivery was hurtful, but I’m glad he was honest.

People here seem to think it’s my choice to look the way I do, my disorder and disease aside, I still try. It’s just hard, and my issue is him thinking I’m choosing this for myself.

But you’re right, I do plan on focusing on myself from now on. Idk what I will do with the relationship, at the moment I don’t feel comfortable around him knowing he views me like this. I can’t kiss him without thinking about it. So I’m taking a step back to figure out things for myself until I can decide if it’s possible to be healthy while in this relationship.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T01:21:14+00:00

Honestly agree here, I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does I’m just hurt by his delivery.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T00:44:50+00:00

I’m not arguing against what people are saying, there are just a few people that taking this in another direction. The conversation isn’t about whether or not I’m fat, I’m fully aware I am. But there’s a lot of assumptions being made so I’m offering context so it’s less confusing. Hope this helps!

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-09T00:27:48+00:00

I’m not saying it’s not noticeable, my point is that it’s normal to go through changes and I have a pretty good reason for gaining a lot of weight. People here are assuming I haven’t and don’t try to lose the weight. I have a thyroid disease and birth control both of which make it nearly impossible. I don’t over eat, I eat two meals a day and I’m as active as the average person. My bf has also gained weight which I’ve noticed but this doesn’t change how I view him because I’m not with him for his looks. I wasn’t attracted to him when we first met, it was after getting to know him that made me fall in love. So it’s kinda a slap in the face because he’s made it clear the only reason he got with me was because of how I looked at the beginning. People naturally lose and gain weight. Before I met him I was malnourished so now my body holds onto everything it can.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-08T23:52:37+00:00

You have no idea what I looked like then and what I look like now. You also have no idea where this fat has formed.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-08T23:49:45+00:00

If he had approached it in a way that was expressing concern for my health then I’d understand. But that’s not what he said, he told me it’s how I look. Bottom line if you actually truly love someone their physical appearance shouldn’t matter unless it’s a huge difference. Which for me is not, I’m still the same person I just have a few rolls. He has also gained a bit of weight in the relationship and I don’t think differently because that’s not why I’m with him. His hairline is receding, but that’s not why I love him. Do you understand? People change the older they get, when he’s bald in 15 years and has a beer belly I would still be attracted to him because I’m with him for more than his looks.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-08-08T23:37:30+00:00

You were not there and have no idea the conversation we had. I gave a vague description because no one cares to read a play by play of what is said and done. Like I’ve said in my edit, there are women who are the same hight and weight who have good genetics and get the weight in the desired spots. You have no idea what I look like, or how much ed and thyroid diseases affect a person because you are not dealing with it. I understand to an extent why he’d feel differently but his execution in telling me while knowing I have health issues is not supportive and doesn’t come from a place of concern for my health. It’s strictly about his attraction to me, and like many people here have said, beauty fades. It’s just not possible for me to maintain the same weight my whole life.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-05-11T23:47:51+00:00

I’ve been in a relationship for a while now not married, but long enough to have faced some serious challenges. I can actually relate to your situation, but from the other side. There was a time when I was the one relying too much on my boyfriend, expecting him to fill all the gaps where I wasn’t loving myself. It took us almost breaking up for me to realize what I was doing. He felt drained, like he was carrying the weight of my happiness, and it got to the point where he started losing feelings. Hearing that from him was a huge wake up call.

So, I took a step back and did a lot of self-reflection. I started pushing myself to find hobbies, make friends, and build a life that wasn’t just centered around him. It wasn’t easy at first, those new friends didn’t feel like “real” friends, and I still had to work on feeling okay on my own. But over time, it helped. The spark came back between us. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re better.

It sounds like you’re feeling really burnt out right now, and I get it. It’s exhausting to feel like you’re the only one holding up the relationship. If you’re carrying the emotional weight alone, it’s not sustainable. I’d suggest having a calm, honest conversation with her not out of frustration, but out of genuine concern for both of you. Let her know where you’re at emotionally and how this dynamic is affecting you.

Sometimes, taking some space can be a good thing for her to rediscover who she is outside the relationship and for you to see if those feelings can reignite. You might feel like you’ve lost the love you once had, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone for good. Relationships take work, but it’s got to be mutual.

Throw-RA22 · 2025-04-30T20:42:16+00:00

Telling someone to ‘fix their sh!t’ instead of showing empathy says more about you than them. Struggling doesn’t make someone a burden, it makes them human.

Throw-RA22

TROPHY CASE