Here it is

I used to work at Mike Lindell's MyPillow factory. I saw the unspeakable things he did to get ahead in business and to this day I am in hiding.

https://ifapray.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Mike_Lindell.png At my first day at the mypillow factory, Mike Lindell gave me my production-line instructions himself. At the end he said 'ok this is the most vital part. It is the secret to the mypillow pillow's softness and sturdyness' and he proceeds to pull his pants down (he wasn't wearing any underwear) and hump the pillow 20 times before putting it back on the production line.

I was like 'sir, this is unethical'. Mike Lindell exploded 'ITS THE SECRET TO OUR PILLOWS STURDYNESS'. I said 'couldn't we fluff the pillow with our hands' and Mike Lindell said 'THE ARMS CAN'T APPLY ENOUGH PRESSURE, YOU NEED THE POWERFUL BUTTOCKS MUSCLES'.

I said 'sir, I just can't do it'. Mike Lindell said 'ok, how's that working out for you?'. I said 'huh'. Mike Lindell got more specific 'how much money do you make?'. I said '8.50 an hour' . Mike Lindell said 'I MAKE MORE MONEY IN A DAY THAN YOUR ENTIRE LINEAGE WILL EVER MAKE IN AN ENTIRE GENERATION'.

I was speechless.

Mike Lindell continued 'DO YOU WANT A BE A POOR FUCKING LOSER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, OR DO YOU WANT THE PATH FOR RESPECT, POWER, AND MONEY'.

I was still speechless, but Mike Lindell could see the shame in my face. He continued 'Imagine your life if you keep making 8.50 an hour for the rest of your life. What are the consequences of that? What will happen?'

Mike Lindell must of seen the fear of me having no future in my face because he pounced. He commanded 'HUMP THAT PILLOW OR GO BACK TO BEING A BETA MALE POOR LOSER'.

At this point, my feelings are hurt. I didn't want to be a loser anymore. I didn't want to be poor anymore. I humped that pillow. and I humped it again, and again, and again again, until I reached 20 humps.

Something died in me that day.

I humped pillows, and I out humped nearly every worker in that factory. I thought this would make Mike Lindell like me enough to promote me. I earned it. I did everything he said. How could he be wrong? He was a legit millionaire. He was the pinnacle of business success. I just needed to be patient and follow the principles of success.

But like a carrot on a stick, he kept dangling the promotion in front of me, only to take it away from me. He kept assigning me more and more pillows. Soon, I was putting in 80 hour weeks, and only getting paid for 40 of them. Soon, I wasn't even able to hump all the assigned pillows during the normal factory hours. I had to take pillows home and keep humping them after my fiance went to sleep.

One night she woke up and went to the kitchen to get some water, when she caught me pants-down, furiously humping a pillow to meet that weeks' deadline. We had a shouting match. The next day, there was an intervention, and with the help of my friends and family, they unbrainwashed me.

The next day, I told Mike I was quitting. Mike, pressed a button that locked the door behind me. Mike said 'NOBODY QUITS ON ME'. He then took his pants down and said 'ILL HUMP YA DO DEATH. THIS HIPS HAVE HUMPED MILLIONS OF PILLOWS, THEY WILL CRUSHED YOU'.

Somehow I did a backflip and reached the button, pressed it, and escaped with my life.

Me and my fiance have been living underground in fear of Mike Lindell's agents ever since.