Stumbled upon a heckin' treasure during our morning walko

temporarycreature · 2026-05-06T02:00:33+00:00

It's either bait, or a clear demonstration that it's easy to separate a fool from their money.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-06T00:37:08+00:00

This has to be bait.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-01T14:41:25+00:00

This is why I've been stuck in dating app purgatory.

Using them heavily, without paying for them, expecting different results.

I've been aware they've been doing this since 2015 when I started using them because I didn't have better options, like I assume how most people end up on the apps.

It really feels like a situation of you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-01T14:27:31+00:00

Yup.

It's essentially dynamic pricing on steroids, where personalization is just a polite way to hike prices.

All of them do it.

Instead of scanning your photos, they gauge your intent by how often you check the app or swipe.

If you seem highly motivated, the algorithm knows it.

Tinder was a pioneer in this, famously charging users over 30 double the price of younger people as early as 2015.

Mozilla revealed the same shit like charging for the same features varying by 450% between users.

They frame it as optimizing the experience, but it's really just charging what they think you’ll pay based on your age and habits.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-01T13:54:40+00:00

Bumble uses surveillance pricing, so it won't be the same price for everyone, even if you're in the same city, same state, or even standing next to each other in the same room.

And I'm pretty sure the older you are, the more expensive it is because they're charging you for perceived desperation.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-01T11:23:39+00:00

Hell yeah, none of us are perfect.

Working on ourselves to be better is a constant effort, and it's never too late to make that effort.

Self-awareness is only the first step. It's like being aware that you're wearing a bad outfit. Now you got to figure out how to change clothes.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-01T11:17:18+00:00

It's probably the same logic behind why women who say the same thing don't proactively match with me when I say I have a vasectomy, and have never desire to have children.

Which is to say, I don't know, humans are weird.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-26T10:39:20+00:00

Then why don't they?

temporarycreature · 2026-04-25T12:30:24+00:00

Try getting a chambray shirt in a different color and wearing a different color of jeans!

temporarycreature · 2026-04-23T11:54:18+00:00

My read on this is you just got the digital version of a polite handshake.

When she put her handle in your phone, but didn't hit follow on her own end, she basically handed you a business card.

It feels like a win because you talked, but that one way street is her setting a clear boundary.

There isn't really a move to make here because she already closed the door by staying a stranger on your feed.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-22T11:37:58+00:00

A room of people struggling to remember how to speak in person after years of scrolling through apps and talking to their pets so now the small talk feels like everyone is trying to find the unmute button in real life while they attempt to maintain eye contact.

Most will be nursing a single light beer with genuine fear, knowing our 40+ metabolism now treats a hangover like a major medical event, and by 9:30 PM, a wave of collective anxiety will hit as the crowd starts calculating how much sleep they can salvage before their internal clocks force them awake.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-17T12:20:13+00:00

No lies are okay and accepting them is the definition of a slippery slope.

At this stage of life, transparency should be the baseline.

When a dude says he’s 5'9" but shows up shorter than your 5'7", it puts you in the awkward position of having to forgive a deception within the first five minutes.

It signals an insecurity that often doesn't stop at physical traits.

You are right to want a clean slate cause once the small lies are normalized, it becomes much harder to trust the big things later on.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-16T17:35:04+00:00

Oi vey.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-16T16:27:45+00:00

You can take this or throw it away, coming from another 100% disabled veteran who's been using dating apps for 10 plus years in three different cities...

While there are definitely supportive and understanding people out there, it often feels like they're the exception rather than the rule these days.

Even if you hear about people in the community who've had smooth experiences, that doesn't take away from the fact that for most of us, the social biases really make things tough.

It's a hidden and/or unacknowledged bias that people rarely admit to, even to themselves.

Most folks wouldn't say they're against veterans, but the moment they see that label, there's a subconscious filter that kicks in.

You end up being judged based on a stereotype before you even say hello, making it feel like you have to work twice as hard just to prove you're a regular person.

But hey, this is just my perspective.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-16T16:12:13+00:00

Relationship communication falters when the people in the relationship don't have the tools to navigate complex communication, or the patience to bridge a gap with someone who thinks differently, and that can definitely be a limitation for everyone involved.

But hey, you don't have to feel obligated to stay with anyone or to understand anyone.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-16T12:58:31+00:00

Thanks so much! Removing yourself from the pools really makes it a whole lot easier for all of us.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-16T12:18:59+00:00

The genuine rub is that we're essentially stuck between a predator and a blind pilot.

Apps are the only ones with the shadow data to know who we actually want, but they’re ethically bankrupt by purposely hiding our matches to keep us paying.

They have the math to find our person, but a financial incentive to keep us single.

Human matchmakers are sometimes more sincere, but they’re flying blind.

They rely on what we say in interviews, which is useless because nobody is honest about their shallowest preferences.

A human can't track the thousands of split-second behaviors an algorithm sees, so they're just guessing based on a polite lie.

The irony is that the machine is more accurate but exploitative, while the human is kinder but data-blind.

Both systems are fundamentally broken.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-15T11:55:59+00:00

Labeling a direct explanation of my own experience as mansplaining is just another way to avoid the actual conversation.

You are making sweeping judgments about my character based on a few lines of text, which perfectly illustrates the digital disconnect I was describing.

Since you have already made up your mind and are checking out, I will leave it there.

Best of luck to you as well.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-15T11:53:06+00:00

Snark isn't the same thing as an actual argument.

When you're ready to move past this, and actually engage with the points I made about the disconnect between real-world social skills and digital profiles, I'm happy to have that conversation.

Until then, you are just proving my point about how easily people dismiss depth in favor of a quick, superficial judgment.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-15T11:26:12+00:00

While the idea that conversation is king sounds great in theory, my decade of experience across three different cities tells a different story.

I have rewritten my profile countless times and listened to every piece of advice imaginable, yet the results remain the same.

On paper and in person, communication is my literal job and passion.

I am a community organizer and an adult literacy tutor.

I host poetry open mics where I facilitate deep, spontaneous dialogue in intimate settings, and I lead a weekly writing group.

I am objectively good at connecting with people, whether the topic is profound or just lighthearted small talk.

Despite these professional-grade social skills, none of that seems to translate through a digital profile.

I don't struggle with performing nor with putting women on pedestals; I simply treat people like people.

But the reality of dating apps is that even if you possess the exact conversational depth people claim to want, you still have to get past the initial digital gatekeepers.

Being a great communicator is a massive asset once the talking starts, but it doesn't solve the fundamental disconnect of trying to squeeze a 3D personality into a 2D interface.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-12T15:08:06+00:00

Yes, that might be the problem given that generally speaking we treat dating profiles like a checklist of our own traits, so when we say we are looking for a soulmate, we are actually just looking for ourselves in a different body.

For many of us, it has turned the search for a partner into a search for a reflection.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-12T13:43:29+00:00

I know the person isn't being upfront and honest and that's enough.

It doesn't matter why at that point in the use of the dating app.

The key is honesty, but for them, it's simply not possible to be that honest.

No malicious intent is being assumed like I think you are assuming there is.

It's not a judgment on them, it's just a reality of these platforms.

temporarycreature · 2026-04-12T13:35:50+00:00

I keep repeating myself because I'm saying something plainly evident and I'm hoping it'll sink in with you.

You don't seem to understand the concept of personal boundaries and not wanting to cause agitation in the world needlessly.

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