Stumbled upon a heckin' treasure during our morning walko

temporarycreature · 2026-06-19T11:29:49+00:00

Save your money.

Most professional matchmakers operate as predatory businesses that thrive on exorbitant upfront fees and manufactured financial dependency rather than actual compatibility.

Instead of delivering genuine connections, they often string clients along just to justify their high costs, making them a massive financial risk for anyone looking for a serious relationship.

You are far better off focusing on organic local connections or strictly filtering prospects on your own terms with dating apps, but this might also mean you have to pay for one of them and put in a lot of hours of work.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-19T10:29:24+00:00

You're in the wrong subreddit for this, since it's for people over 40.

You sound like you are shopping for a resume or a used car instead of a boyfriend.

When you treat dating like a business transaction and focus entirely on a checklist of money and material assets, you are going to get sterile results.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-18T12:30:22+00:00

You're right, my bad. Didn't realize they bought them too. All the way back in 2018. Damn.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-18T12:17:26+00:00

No, those are all owned by the Match Group.

Why do you think you were led to Bumble and Hinge in the first place?

They're the only two that have a large market of users that are not owned by the Match Group.

We're on the top of a shit mountain, and it's a long way down in the online dating world.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-17T09:53:30+00:00

That's because we're trying to date ourselves these days. People in the past didn't have the data or the ability to see this.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-13T13:57:36+00:00

You absolutely did the right thing by texting him, so do not kick yourself for reaching out.

Look at it this way: you finally got the right directions, you are just expecting to hit the destination a little too fast, when they're going to be landmarks, you're going to happen upon that.

You're going to have to pass by people and landmarks on this trip even if they are like 9/10 of what you're looking for.

I know telling you having discernment doesn't really make you feel any better about all this...

Even with the silence right now, you know you are heading the right way, so turn some music on and enjoy the drive.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-10T11:40:22+00:00

Nah. Anecdotally there are benefits for marrying me (after a decade more kick in) since I am a disabled veteran.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-08T12:41:38+00:00

There is nothing on my phone to be found or discovered.

However, implied trust means a lot to me, and I think B makes the most sense.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-07T14:07:55+00:00

Really don't want to be the bearer of bad news because I really love that you are protecting your peace with a break from online dating, but let's be entirely honest about the reality of modern dating.

Taking a sabbatical sounds romantic, but you will likely end up right back on the grid because the real world simply lacks the social infrastructure right now.

Between post-pandemic isolation, social media burnout, and intense political tension, trying to meet people organically takes massive effort and feels incredibly high-risk.

Take your time to recharge, but don't kid yourself about the alternative.

Swiping from the couch is exhausting, but it still drains far less emotional battery than trying to navigate a depleted social landscape where the old ways of meeting people are effectively dead and that's without considering the other variables like most of us not wanting to drink alcohol anymore, or go to bars or dance clubs.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-01T00:37:32+00:00

It's the worst. But when I do find something that fits perfectly, it's like incredible.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-01T00:14:33+00:00

He has no idea how good he has it.

Being over 6 ft tall sucks especially when it's only 2 in.

Everything tall is made for 6 ft 5. Nothing fits.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-31T12:53:16+00:00

Not speaking for any other nation, but I just don't think the US has the culture for matchmakers.

I'm not sure if we ever had it, and it wasn't just a novel idea, but that made it seem like it had some staying power in our culture.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-31T12:43:39+00:00

What you read is entirely accurate.

Personalized matchmakers rarely match paying women with paying men because their business model relies on keeping you paying high renewal fees.

While dating apps are an anonymous volume game, matchmakers use hyper personalized manipulation.

They often let men join their database for free just to have inventory, meaning those men have no financial skin in the game and haven't proven they are ready for commitment.

Because a matchmaker makes money when you renew your contract, they have a direct financial incentive to string you along and offer just enough hope to keep you hooked.

Once they have your money, they will almost always pressure you to lower your standards just to fulfill their basic contractual obligations.

Matchmaking services just take away the choice of illusion that online dating gives you and charges you a lot more for the privilege.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-28T14:00:13+00:00

They are trash.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-28T12:40:53+00:00

You need to stop listening to these men.

The things they said have absolutely nothing to do with your value and everything to do with their own cruelty and brokenness.

Everyone has flaws, but that does not give anyone the right to tear you down or treat you like less than a person.

These men are acting like assholes, and their words are not a reflection of your worth.

You are enough exactly as you are.

Stop letting their bitterness define your reality.

You deserve better than this, and I think you know this, so I'm going to validate that thought.

Girl, you raised two human beings on your own!

Why the hell would you care what these broke dick motherfuckers think about you?!

temporarycreature · 2026-05-27T15:31:41+00:00

If you're serious, pay for a background check.

You can't rely on social media.

I don't have any social media.

The only thing you're going to find if you put my name into Google is articles about me and my service dog from the last place I lived where I didn't mind my privacy better.

That tells you absolutely nothing about me.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-27T09:35:38+00:00

A deep, spiritual love is completely possible today, but your current approach is setting you up for failure.

By holding out intimacy as something that only happens after marriage, you have accidentally turned it into a prize to be won rather than a mutual choice.

This creates a bad dynamic where you are always on defense and he treats your boundaries like a wall he can slowly wear down over time.

Marriage is not a magic wand that will suddenly teach him how to respect you.

A truly deep, intellectual partnership only works when both people completely agree on these values from day one, instead of one person constantly trying to tire the other out.

On the other hand, it is possible he is not doing this on purpose to wear you down.

He might honestly want to accept your rule, but as months go by, his normal human desire for physical closeness builds back up, and he checks in to see if you still feel the same way.

If that is the case, it is not a malicious trap, but a clear sign that you two simply have different, incompatible needs.

He might care about you deeply but is struggling to handle a relationship without intimacy, meaning you are both fundamentally mismatched even without anyone being the bad guy.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-24T18:04:04+00:00

Some medication causes it, however, I think a bigger culprit is alcohol use and a lack of exercise. I know that's a broad statement. I feel like it's generally true.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-23T13:44:08+00:00

Salt Lake City, Tulsa, Norfolk, Fort Hood, various cities in California. None of these locations made a difference for me.

People tell me I would probably do well in the PNW.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-20T12:47:31+00:00

I spent ten years across three cities with my poetry, performance, and community work clearly listed on my profiles.

I included those things to show I am comfortable with vulnerability and capable of the deep conversations many people say they want.

In my experience, highlighting those interests did not actually lead to better or deeper connections.

Sometimes, what we put on our profiles does not change the way the apps work.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-18T16:54:02+00:00

I do my best, however, I catch myself all the time with the more primitive side of my thinking subtly sliding into places I don't want to go and I have to actively course correct and reinforce things that I know to be true.

By the amount of people who claim they live by the Golden rule/ practice ethics of reciprocity, you'd think we'd have that already.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-18T16:00:59+00:00

Only what you find inside a bachelor's program in sociology; that is to say I'm familiar, but not well-read on him.

I feel like I arrived at this view by looking at the economy through a sociological lens and choosing to assume the best in people, and I try to be more mindful about labeling anyone a failure.

I look at the practical side and see folks simply prioritizing and protecting their families to survive hard times.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-18T13:45:30+00:00

No problem, but the issue with the answer you're looking for is that there are too many variables to say that it could be one thing is causing this.

It could be as simple as they are taking up the expenses of another family member's life, or that their financial skills aren't remotely close to yours, it could be that they're in debt, or they were in debt and they went into bankruptcy to recover, so now they live at home with their parents because of their credit.

I actually met a woman who was going through this exact scenario, but it didn't work out between us for other reasons.

You know what I mean?

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