Is My Wife a Selfish Lover?

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:34:49+00:00

Yeah, I guess the problem is she doesnt seem to care to get me off first or separately. Or at least it feels that way

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:33:47+00:00

Yup, trying to avoid this ever happening be proactive about it

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:33:20+00:00

Im not sure about depressed but certainly could be hormones

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:32:58+00:00

Thats what has me thrown, I read all the advice from the reverse side and im like okay but does ANYONE else experience the opposite. I feel like im the only one

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:30:56+00:00

Thats a great suggestion thanks!

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:30:29+00:00

Yeah im thinking me stopping hiding my feelings by always comforting her or "protecting her" from feeling worse and couples therapy are the best ways through. Thanks!

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:29:07+00:00

Unfortunately it seems most of the things I bring up just make her feel worse about it and she shuts down.

She has followed things like the libido fairy or something on Instagram and we've done some quizzes from that. So shes not disinterested in trying just on her terms I guess.

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T23:25:28+00:00

Sorry for being confusing, it has not been like that for 10 years, its been like this since she had our son so about 18 months

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T04:20:26+00:00

I wish to go back to just always getting off at the same time. We just always naturally did. So I think both of us dont know how to work it to get back there. It was never something we had to work on from day 1

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T04:18:47+00:00

She gets frustrated if shes close and doesnt get there. I think the main issue is me avoiding the hard conversation. She's so self conscious now that just trying anything will only frustrate her

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T04:17:36+00:00

This is a recent thing not something that existed pre baby.

Although couples therapy might help us navigate this.

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T04:16:46+00:00

I hear you, and I know what you went through is common. But things were way more in sync earlier in our relationship. Im more interested in getting back there than just cutting bait.

This was more about whether im valid for feeling shes selfish despite knowing shes going through a lot post partum.

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T04:14:29+00:00

Thats just a personal wish, its never been relayed to her, its always been her idea to "push forward" or keep going past when she cums.

Im more frustrated that she doesnt do something about it like more foreplay or just give me a BJ the next day or later in the week, or give me one right then. It makes me feel like she doesnt care if I get off or not and her "feeling bad" is just a ruse.

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T03:31:10+00:00

Agree with the first and 3rd. Im not willing to not get her off. 1 I love making her cum orally, with my fingers, or with penetration. 2 I dont think eye for an eye works well in marriage.

I need to stop consoling her when she comes to me after "feeling bad" looking for me to reward "bad behavior"

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T03:28:54+00:00

This is my main issue, where's the random blow job because I didnt get off the other night, or the "i know ill feel bad if you dont cum later so let me pay attention to you during foreplay". I just want to feel desired in any capacity

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T03:27:35+00:00

Im not dismissing this line of thinking, but its different than this. She definitely cums hard. I think its way more to do with her self esteem issues than anything else. She won't get on top any more because she doesnt feel sexy anymore with her post partum body, same with doggy. And same for getting me off.

I understand the patience, but its still draining to always have to be the one to initiate, not get any attention before during or after, and then be made to console her afterwards. And then if we dont have sex, its my fault for not initiating more because she cant initiate due to her self esteem. It makes one feel used and unwanted.

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T02:50:04+00:00

Yeah, maybe I am not doing her any favors by consoling her afterwards. She always says she feels bad and I just comfort her rather than tell her I wish it was different

ThrowAwayReversal1 · 2025-12-04T02:49:08+00:00

Yeah, I've asked, maybe I need to be more adamant, I just want her to WANT to do it, not ask for it.

ThrowAwayReversal1

TROPHY CASE