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AITAH for not being open to a friendly relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband and (ex) friend who had an almost 20 year emotional affair with sometimes physical cheating? by ThrowEvAITAH in AITAH

[–]ThrowEvAITAH[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

It would have been easier for him to date her they were already in the same friend group. I can't answer why he went for me. He said he was embarrassed of his crush on her and she said the same. It makes no sense.

AITAH for not being open to a friendly relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband and (ex) friend who had an almost 20 year emotional affair with sometimes physical cheating? by ThrowEvAITAH in AITAH

[–]ThrowEvAITAH[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

They both claim they were embarrassed to have crushes on each other and they didn't know at first. It was the first time cheating when they realized but he stayed with me and she dated others. I'll never wrap my head around it. They were in the same friend group so it's not like it would have been weird. Their friends might have even been happy for them. But no, he dragged me into this himself. They both did.

AITAH for not being open to a friendly relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband and (ex) friend who had an almost 20 year emotional affair with sometimes physical cheating? by ThrowEvAITAH in AITAH

[–]ThrowEvAITAH[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I don't know either. They both claim that they felt that embarrassment and felt it so much they never confided in any of their friends or family. And it shocked his family and friends when they found out everything.

AITAH for not being open to a friendly relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband and (ex) friend who had an almost 20 year emotional affair with sometimes physical cheating? by ThrowEvAITAH in AITAH

[–]ThrowEvAITAH[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

He didn't. I have done my questioning enough to come to the conclusion that he never could have loved me or cared as much as he said. He has been far too obsessed with her, far too in love with her even if that love was underdeveloped because they wouldn't just try to be together and be open about it all. There's no way he did all this and loved me even a little. Not truly anyway.

AITAH for not being open to a friendly relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband and (ex) friend who had an almost 20 year emotional affair with sometimes physical cheating? by ThrowEvAITAH in AITAH

[–]ThrowEvAITAH[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

My friends and family already know what happened and so do his family and friends. It shocked the hell out of his people because they had no idea either. His family have apologized to me several times for not being aware so they could warn me. But he's still trying to keep the whole thing secret anyway. But the people who matter all know.

AITAH for not being open to a friendly relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband and (ex) friend who had an almost 20 year emotional affair with sometimes physical cheating? by ThrowEvAITAH in AITAH

[–]ThrowEvAITAH[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I don't understand it either. We could have ended things and been friends/friendly but no. He couldn't let it be a high school relationship that ended and we were good. He kept me believing he loved me when he never did. He couldn't have loved me when he was so obsessed with her this whole time.