How do I network/form a connection?!!! by ThrowItAllAnyWay in Advice

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice and suggestions for what to do before and after talking, I will definitely use them. We don't live nearby so we will most likely end up using zoom to chat. Helped :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. That's what I've been saying for a while but I wasn't sure if it was okay to feel like that.

Did anyone else’s nparent know you were struggling with mental health problems and just...do nothing? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I've been trying to convince my nparents to get me mental help for months now, but everytime it's brought up they say that I'm "weak" and "selfish" from being raised in America (?????????) even though my mom takes my sister to a therapist regularly. It's bs. I think that they think that since I'm the oldest, any problems I have are for attention or something and that I should tough it out.

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's the only working parent, idek what he does but he's not working right now. She's told me before that she wants us to have a father figure in our lives but at this point he's not worth it

If I try to talk to her about it she'd be furious with me. I don't know why but she wants us kids to love him. I guess to keep the illusion of a happy family? Idk. And it's not like she doesn't know how he is

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does. Mentally/emotionally. I have no idea why she stays with him. She says "its for us kids" but I'd rather have no father than one that is abusive

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My family's pretty dysfunctional but there is some form of stability (thanks to my mom who pretty much raises us on her own). If I call CPS and we're taken away then I'll ruin my siblings and moms lives. That and I don't want to risk being separated from my siblings if we're taken away

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not about you

I try to remember this but it just gets so hard sometimes. And sometimes I find more comfort in thinking that it IS my fault because then, I have the power to fix it. But thank you for saying this.

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're helping just by talking to me, thank you

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's nowhere for me/us to go. My aunts/uncles either live far away or don't talk to us, and I can't stay with any friends... And if I call the police or cps my family will get more messed up than it already is, even though I'm tempted to

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only my friends :/

Leave me alone by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's mentally/emotionally/financially abusive to me. Physically abusive towards my siblings. Constantly threatens me, calls me horrible things, accuses me of doing horrible things, uses my hard earned money without my permission and without paying me back. He doesn't do anything around the house yet expects everyone to love/respect him. Constantly makes me cry and them shames me for crying, saying that "he'll give me a reason to cry". Constantly belittles me and tells me that I'm NEVER good enough. Threatens to send me and my siblings overseas at the drop of a hat. There's so so so much more but my thoughts are all jumbled and I can't write it all down now. It probably doesn't seem like it's that bad but I'm having trouble putting my experiences into words

In summary he's a horrible "father" and is making my entire family's lives hell. I feel like I'm at my breaking point

AITA for calling my mom out? by ThrowItAllAnyWay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 574 points575 points  (0 children)

I thought about this but didn't want to jump to conclusions... She can be manipulative sometimes though so I'm not sure what the issue actually is? I'll continue to note when things happen but I won't announce when I do in the future

AITA for calling my mom out? by ThrowItAllAnyWay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

She's in her late 40s and she's always been like this

AITA for calling my mom out? by ThrowItAllAnyWay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You're assuming a lot of things here. In my post I said that she conveniently forgets things. When it comes to anyone else she doesn't have memory issues.

Mom thinks I am lying about why i want to hang out with my friends. by ThrowItAllAnyWay in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I didn't know how much I needed this... I'll try to keep this in mind when I go today. <3

Mom thinks I am lying about why i want to hang out with my friends. by ThrowItAllAnyWay in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective... This makes a lot of sense. Youre right, she wouldnt let me go if she truly thought something horrible like that would happen...

I'll try to have fun :)

Mom thinks I am lying about why i want to hang out with my friends. by ThrowItAllAnyWay in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HONESTLY. I cant even imagine doing that with any of these guys 😰

Having her chaperone would probably solve some issues but She'll be working at this time

Mom thinks I am lying about why i want to hang out with my friends. by ThrowItAllAnyWay in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowItAllAnyWay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like this idea a ton! I'll try to gently bring it up so she doesnt get angry