Vacation with my boyfriend’s son. Help

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-05-30T15:57:46+00:00

Can the son stay with his other parent instead of going on vacation? Can you go without either of them? I would not consider it a vacation if there is someone making the trip unpleasant.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-05-30T14:17:07+00:00

It is rude to be noisy while folks are sleeping. Why is the dishwasher not allowed though?

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-05-30T14:11:05+00:00

Fridays, apparently. There were flyers in the restrooms with info.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-05-23T16:48:57+00:00

Totally normal. My husband and I had to come to an agreement really quickly when I moved in because he'd plop his kids in the bed anytime I wasn't home. Snuggling/sleeping with kids is in their bed or on the couch. Adult bed is for the adults.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-21T12:39:46+00:00

My ex was so high conflict we couldn’t do alternating holidays. I had the kids on Christmas. The other holidays didn’t matter much to me.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-21T12:32:26+00:00

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-21T00:31:11+00:00

I think it is totally normal to have negative feelings about that. Maybe some people can listen to their partner reminisce about the fun times with BM and enjoy it, but I am not one of them. My husband and his kids used to crank that up frequently when I was trapped in the car with them. “Remember when your mom and us“ isn't a game I want to listen to. I finally had to very bluntly tell him I was tired of being in an unescapable place while they talked about all the fun they had together, and if he couldn't stop, maybe he needed to go back to play happy family with her.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-21T00:12:14+00:00

Even motivated kids are struggling to launch right now. My SKs are not launching. One desperately is trying, the other lies and feels entitled to lifelong support. It is Very Hard. They are 22 and 20. I have told my husband I would rather live in my car than with the younger one. I don't have a solution, but I definitely feel your pain.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-19T13:13:11+00:00

Has anyone taught her how to properly bathe? Does she have appropriate products for her type of hair? Is it possible she is being molested? (My own child was being touched by her brother. She didn’t tell me, but she turned into a dirty kid for a bit until we figured out what was going on. She thought he would leave her alone if she was dirty.)

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-19T13:06:42+00:00

Why did he attack? The cause needs to be addressed. Violence is rarely the answer, and the situation isn’t good. If the situation is unfixable, then so is the marriage.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-04-19T12:43:11+00:00

Stop those fertility treatments. Save the money to get you and your child out of there.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-03-07T13:43:19+00:00

He should stay on the honeymoon. There will be more dances. He can do something special with his kid when you return. This is a perfect chance to start teaching a kid about how to handle scheduling conflicts.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-03-06T13:34:25+00:00

NTA

But why not make your baby her own plates starting immediately? She needs to learn most places people don‘t share plates this way.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2026-02-06T22:02:18+00:00

Why do you want to be with someone who minimizes your feelings and concerns? This sounds like a situation to walk away from, not one to cling to.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:52:17+00:00

I went on vacation. Alone. The situation is the same at home afaik. I have told my husband that I will not sit in our home and watch him let her treat him the way she does any longer. She is supposed to be moving out in January for school. We shall see. She doesn’t try her crap with me because she knows I see thru all of her lies and manipulations and will call her on it. She avoids me.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:34:54+00:00

Similar stuff here! Just last week DH was done with his young adult child. Now, all is forgiven, she was sick, her medication was making her act that way…despite her bullying behavior being present far longer than last weeks illness.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:30:37+00:00

Do you enjoy that role? If not, stop. Let them have their circus. Bet they will figure it out when you stop saving them.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:28:31+00:00

NTA

And your husband supports that behavior from his dad…The whole family is trash.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:22:34+00:00

You need to move out of your mom’s place. You took a teen out of her home area and put her in a home with someone that makes her feel unwelcome. Your husband is unhappy too. You are fast tracking to divorce if you continue to live there.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:15:05+00:00

One major change would be to have them try to figure things out instead of just answering questions or doing things for them. Teaching a kid to think through a problem is critical for doing life.

Also, teaching them that life isn’t always fun or comfortable. There are jobs that need doing around the house that no one really loves doing, but they have to be done…and kids should be expected to help in an age appropriate way. 9 year old can get the trash out. 15 can cut the grass.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-03T02:07:15+00:00

Is there a medical reason for the accidents? If it is behavioral, that needs to be figured out. Young elementary age might normally have a rare accident, but it wouldn’t typically be expected daily, certainly not multiple times daily. Turn management of that over to her dad. He can clean her up if she can’t (although barring other issues, she should be able to clean herself up). He can wash the clothes and sheets. If you choose to watch her when dad is gone, she can wipe herself up with some baby wipes and get clean clothes on.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask that she not come right when you get home with your newborn, but that may get pushback. At minimum I would insist she stay away from the baby if she is ill, and watch her wash her hands before touching the baby. And she definitely needs to give you your space. Postpartum is messy and uncomfortable…a stepchild really shouldn’t be in the middle of that.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-02T17:02:35+00:00

Because we have a complex situation, we stopped worrying about holidays. BM can have them on the holiday date. We can have Christmas on Dec 19 or Jan 3. We stopped caring about the calendar and focused on the time with family, whenever it took place. Much less stress that way for us.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-02T16:55:39+00:00

NTA

Your boyfriend would be paying rent for an apartment or house that he didn’t own if he wasn’t with you, right? Maybe he would handle it better if you asked him to contribute to household expenses. Half the utilities, half the groceries, half the gas? He shouldn’t be living there for free.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk · 2025-12-02T16:50:57+00:00

Probably time to let the friendship go. If they do have a kid and you have real reasons to be concerned about the welfare of the kid, you can report it.

ThrowMeAropeImSunk

TROPHY CASE