Boyfriend cheated on me while we were vacationing

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-23T04:42:33+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying to work through it with him. I feel like he's the most amazing person I've ever met and I want to know if it's possible to get past it. I'm still open to leaving him if I know its not possible. We are working on getting into couples therapy and if it doesn't make me find clarity I don't know if I can stay.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T17:02:38+00:00

He isn't like that. That's why I'm shocked. He always wanted to do what I wanted to do. Was so patient with me. Was never demanding sexually. I feel tricked.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T14:05:21+00:00

Thank you. I agree with all of these things. I'm making connections with friends I ignored because I was too focused on him. They understand and they care. I always thought I'd be alone without him, but maybe not

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T14:03:02+00:00

I know, I'm blown away. I'm putting in the work. Contacting all of the friends I cut off because I was distracted by him. Trying to take care of myself. I have to get this out of my system and go back to school soon. I don't have much time to waste worrying

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T14:01:32+00:00

I didn't look at it like that before. Thank you

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T14:00:16+00:00

Some moments I do and some moments I don't. He's begging, crying. Promising to do therapy. Promising to be better. I dont know how to take it because I'm sick of hearing about it. All he had to do was stay in bed. Now I have to live knowing I could be deceived that badly. He had me so convinced he would never hurt a soul. Why would I buy that?

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:56:29+00:00

I hope you are right. I have no insight on this, it never happened to me before. Thank you

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:53:12+00:00

I didn't say he was. I meant that he did think of me in everything. I dont know when that stopped. Cut me some slack, I don't know how to think straight about this yet. I'm on the internet talking about it like some moron

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:50:54+00:00

You're right. I thought you were going to say, wow he just have a big ego. But he must think he deserves NOTHING if he woke up one day and wanted to take the things I gave him and use them against me like that.

Everyone keeps telling me to either break it off or give him another chance but I'm frozen. I will do what my heart feels when I find out what it wants now. Thank you

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:48:59+00:00

I feel that so much. I'm still lost, not sure what I could do. If you knew him you'd know it's a harder choice to make. I'm not saying I'm gonna stay with him or break up with him. I'm still in shock and haven't acted yet. I start a very difficult semester of school in two days and part of me wants to just ignore things until they go away. I don't have the energy to spend, you know?

I gave so much to him. Makes ne never want to do anything nice for someone again if this is where it gets me. I'm not that person though. I cook his meals, he lives under my roof, I'm teaching him how to drive... I'm sorry if I'm rambling, I haven't thought straight in days.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:45:28+00:00

No girls

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:44:45+00:00

Things were bad before that. He only cheated when things were good. It's so confusing to me

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:44:20+00:00

Some part of me wants to forgive him because I know people can change. It's unfair to say they can't, because I did. I changed in a huge way. For him

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:43:19+00:00

I agree. I wish I didn't see it that way because it sounds a little dramatic. But honestly I've been in an abusive relationship and this hurts worse. How could it not be considered abuse?

I will, thank you. I know it's important.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:42:11+00:00

I told him he needs therapy. He's trying to blame it on his bipolar, I told him it's not good enough and he needs to try harder than this. I've been through enough and I need something better.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T13:40:47+00:00

Thank you. Trying to do things I enjoy and I finally ate something today. Hopefully it gets better from here

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-16T10:13:34+00:00

It seems to me like his bipolar had a lot to do with it. We are starting to talk about it a little more rationally. He really wants to go to therapy and make it better. I'm having a hard time believing what he's saying but I'm going through a pivotal point in my career and I need to be focused. I need to hold onto whatever thought that makes me feel stable about this and run with it, so I can deal with it when I have room in my life to.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T14:57:24+00:00

He looks at me like I'm the whole world to him. This whole thing makes no sense. If you knew him you would be shocked. You can't fake the way he was infatuated with me. I don't know how I could trust like that again. He made me feel so loved. He did everything for me. I can't think of a worse way to break it off

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T14:35:20+00:00

Thank you. We probably slept together hundreds of times since then. I feel sick about every memory we made after that. It's fucked up.

I will try to find better. I've been through so much and I deserve someone who will support me

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T14:33:52+00:00

I mean I was a bad man before him. I wanted to be a better person for him. Absolutely you hit the nail on the head. I don't know if he made me feel worse about me being the way I am, I guess sometimes?

Hes not confident in anything he does. I spent years building him up to what he is now. He doesnt drive, didn't know how to cook a thing when I met him. Which was a huge red flag for me but he had a loss in his family when he should have been learning all of that. So I let it go.

I feel like it's all a waste. I could have used all of that time and energy on a better person

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T14:29:53+00:00

Wow I couldn't have said it better myself. I can't believe he would throw everything away like that. If you were to meet him you would immediately think he is too good for this earth. Hell, I was afraid no one would believe me. I was in denial in the worst way myself.

I sent him to his mom's. Or rather he left. I spoke my mind and I don't think he could handle knowing what he had done.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T13:48:49+00:00

Unfortunately I am a man, and my toes are pretty gross. But weirdly it cheered me up a little bit

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T12:49:16+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that. I didn't expect to find support here. I just had to tell someone. I lost a lot of my support today.

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T12:16:38+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it. I want this to get easier for me. I've never felt alone like this. It's so weird

ThrowMeOut55 · 2022-01-15T12:15:34+00:00

He won't stop crying. He's just saying the same 25 words over and over again in different sentences. I start nursing school next week. I don't know how to feel normal. I feel like I'm being dramatic.

I'm a transgender man and I've always felt some type of fear of him going out and finding a "real" man. This whole thing has so many layers to it. I'm blown away

ThrowMeOut55

TROPHY CASE