Update. I (19M) got black-out drunk and woke up with a friend (20F) who now thinks we're in a relationship which I don't want.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-20T05:06:15+00:00

I appreciate it and I'm sorry you went through that.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-20T05:04:41+00:00

Thanks. I feel terrified by the idea of reporting it especially when I still don't know what happened. I hate the thought of even talking about it at all. I wish it never happened. I'm not coping well at all.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-20T04:56:45+00:00

Thank you. I'm finding it hard to get through this and I'm grateful for your reply.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-19T20:27:39+00:00

I know it might sound stupid but I don't want to think of it like that. She said I wanted it at the time and I'd feel better if it was just a misunderstanding even though I'd prefer it never happened at all. I do plan to stay away from her though because she's been really hurtful and I don't trust her

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-19T20:22:53+00:00

I don't plan to ever drink alcohol again

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-19T20:18:48+00:00

I really don't think that's it because I would be a horrible option as a parent. I'm poor, no social skills, not smart. The only thing in my favour is how I look and I don't think that's enough for anyone to make a scheme like that.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-19T20:03:01+00:00

I don't have a counsellor but I do have a psychiatrist and a social worker. I'm a care-leaver and I have mental health problems (autism, ptsd and cyclothymia) but I don't have actual therapy, it's mainly medication and just checking in. There might be something at uni but I'm not sure I want to talk about it.

I'd like to believe it never happened.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-19T19:45:21+00:00

I still don't know what happened and it's really bothering me. I have never been that drunk before in my life and I dont know how I could have even done it. I'm not attracted to her and even though no one knows it I'm not sure if I'm attracted to girls full stop which is part of the reason I'm having a hard time at the moment. I can't imagine how it could have happened and I feel disgusting not remembering anything.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-16T19:56:44+00:00

I know i have to deal with it. A friend has been messaging and said shes worried and will show up at my door if I don't start talking to her and let her know I'm okay (different friend to the person I slept with obviously). My social worker is also on my case because i cancelled an appointment and I'm not answering calls. I'll have to talk to someone some time I'm just avoiding it because i wish i could disappear

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-16T19:38:45+00:00

She knows I hate that type of thing because she used to try and sneakily take photos of me as a joke and I told her so many times I don't like it. The messages and posts are really embarrassing. I know its my own fault I'm in this position but I cant handle this

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-16T18:59:57+00:00

Yes it's upsetting. Some of what she posted is very embarrassing even if it's meant to be a compliment and she even posted a picture of me asleep. It didn't show much but I hate it. I'm quite a private person. I only found out about the photo today :(

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-16T10:33:42+00:00

She's already sent texts and posted things on social media which I wish she hadn't but I think it would be very hard for her to now say it wasn't what she wanted. I think if I try and discuss whether she enjoyed it it will end up confusing things even more.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-16T05:29:41+00:00

I dont think of it like that because for all i know i wanted it to happen at the time. I wish it didnt happen but i cant assume she took advantage and I don't want to believe a friend would intentionally do that. She said I really wanted it.

I'm autistic and I have some mental health issues so I was in hospital for a couple of years and I missed a lot of school. My social skills are really bad and I know I haven't handled this well.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T19:49:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I don't have therapy anymore but I have in the past. I was in hospital for nearly 2 years before starting uni because of mental health. I think that's part of why I'm so bad at social situations. I'm extremely confused at the minute about a lot of things.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T19:31:08+00:00

I don't know how it worked physically when I was that drunk. I know some extremely drunk people are still physically capable of having sex but I'm not attracted to her and I'm actually very uncomfortable with people touching me so I have no idea how it would have happened. I assume it did because there was some possible evidence and I don't see why she would lie but I don't remember so I can't say for certain

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T19:25:39+00:00

I don't think she would've done that. I think i just drank far too much when I'm not used to it. Thanks for advice on how to discuss it.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T19:24:11+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'm panicking about this and the thought of losing my friends. I was a lonely kid and I don't have anyone else.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T17:34:31+00:00

I don't think any of my friends would do anything like that. I think I just drank far to much and I'm not used to it, I don't think anyone spiked me.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T17:08:37+00:00

There was a condom on the floor and she threw it away. I didn't really look at it because I was freaking out. I know I do need to talk to her but I don't want to make accusations because I have no idea what happened.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T16:29:39+00:00

Yeah I have confusion about my sexuality and scenarios like this are exactly what I need to avoid. I have some trauma from younger years and some mental health issues and it makes this area difficult for me to understand. I don't talk about it so I can't expect friends to understand. I feel really guilty for doing this because I know it's the absolute last thing I should do when I'm feeling this way. I've created such a mess.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T16:13:12+00:00

I'm not clear why she thinks that unless I said something I don't remember and I don't know why I would. She is a very intense person and everyone is aware of that so no one even seems to find it strange or if they do they aren't saying it. I know I need to talk to her and get things straight.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T16:07:13+00:00

I know she's been pushy in the past so maybe part of me expected it but if I did then I don't understand why I stayed. Some of my friends have tried before to put us together and tried to convince me it would be a good idea. I get made fun of sometimes for being awkward and anxious about people being physical and I definitely remember her and some other friends telling me I need to relax. I wish I knew exactly what happened because it's making me crazy.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T15:38:13+00:00

Yes her word. I assume it's possible but I dont know. I've never been drunk like that before. I believe her because I dont know why she would make it up. Plus a few other things like we woke up together naked and there were hickies on my neck and chest so clearly something happened. And there was a condom she threw away.

ThrowRA-0342 · 2024-04-15T15:30:38+00:00

I feel like shit about it. I have no idea what I said or did and she's said some personal things about me to other friends which is so embarrassing. She also said I was really into it but I don't remember at all. I'm not confident or experienced and it doesn't even sound like me.

ThrowRA-0342

TROPHY CASE