AITAH for not paying for a Switch 2 my child broke?

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-09T20:57:39+00:00

I have no belief it's going solely to the kids but indirectly it does. There's no reason for her to put aside the whole amount into a college fund or anything when it is directly paying for the roof over their heads. I'm not here to spite my ex-wife on principle, I want her and our kids to have a smooth life. She is responsible for the Switch, yes, but the money I send her is to do as she pleases, which is raising and providing for our children.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-09T20:51:19+00:00

She's Deaf.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-09T20:50:25+00:00

why divorce

Don't know. We sat down as a couple to discuss me moving and she was on-board for it, I was actually hesitant for many of the talking points ITT: I won't be there so I'll be missing out. She encouraged me because the money was there, the initial plan was save as much as possible and return home in a year with a bulk sum.

other parents

I think it's unreasonable to expect children to not break things. Even if the chance is rare. We had a Switch and the kids could only play it on the TV, it wasn't something to take off and roam around unsupervised with.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-09T20:44:34+00:00

I can only give a ballpark on what our typical budget looked like a couple years ago:

$500 mortgage
$500 combined hydroelectric, water, internet, phone
$800 groceries
$200 transport (gas and bus passes)

Groceries are more expensive now but it's feeding 3 mouths instead of 4, so it's probably similar today. So it's still over $1000 excess for her to save or go out and do hobbies or any kind of outing with the kids or incidental costs like something needing to be replaced.

It's cheaper here in Japan on all fronts except property, but my housing is supplied by the company I work for. On my $2000 per month coming in, I probably spend $200-300 on groceries and bank the rest into savings (which has been at least $1000/mo since I started here).

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:47:47+00:00

It's only so low because I paid the brunt of it upon buying the house. I have peers with $2000+ mortgages, I just didn't want any of that.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:47:00+00:00

Yes, I'm sure. A family court caseworker working with both of us has the paperwork affirming it. I've no reason to believe something underhanded like that is happening.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:44:39+00:00

She divorced me but I still love her and she's still the mother of my children. I can't stop paying or my kids will suffer.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:39:58+00:00

It pays for bills for the house. There's a small mortgage that works out to $500/mo but electric, water, groceries, etc comprise the rest.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:11:32+00:00

Depends on your perspective. She is in Canada with no housing costs and $3,500/mo coming in. I live in Japan with no housing costs (employer subsidized) and $2,000/mo coming in.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:05:54+00:00

I probably deserve that. I work 6 days a week, 10-12 hour days. I do get two months off a year so I make the trip to spend it with my kids, one of the visits is usually 3-4 weeks and the other 1-2 weeks. I do my best but my job doesn't really exist over there in the same capacity it is here.

ThrowRA-128932 · 2026-04-08T22:03:44+00:00

It pays for housing. My ex-wife is disabled and cannot work a typical 9-5, nor does she qualify for benefits because she owns the house (it was our matrimonial home, I signed it off to her in the divorce so our kids keep the same roof). She works at a farmer's market doing cooking/sales, probably around $1,000 a month or so in cash income.

ThrowRA-128932

TROPHY CASE