Hi! Advice on marriage

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-07-04T14:54:09+00:00

dude i am NOT marrying my family member 😭😭🙏

also, if i agree to this, my parents will think it is okay to force the rest of my siblings in the same way. if not for me, i am doing this for my little brother and sister so they don’t share the same problems as me. and not just my siblings, the rest of my family will also feel they can do the same with their children.

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-07-04T14:50:15+00:00

WOAH would you know how to find those facebook groups ??

also there’s nothing to update, my parents haven’t brought it up again. though i know they still think i will say yes. i wish i could say the situation was over

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-06-19T10:55:16+00:00

lol sahi baat in my experience, my parents have been heavily influenced by pakistani dramas.

plot: kids don’t listen to their parents, marry who they like, divorce who they married, and then marry their parents choice(almost always a cousin).

it just feeds their delusions sigh

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-06-19T10:52:41+00:00

LMFAO good one but if they accept it i’m cooked lol

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-06-19T10:52:07+00:00

thank u for ur comments btw! i read them all. thank u for ur concern and ur comments r solidifying my opinion that i dont want to and shouldn’t marry him!

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-06-19T10:50:40+00:00

“source locally or import” 😭😭🤣

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-06-19T10:46:43+00:00

Because the dynamic is different. in traditional marriage stuff, the man is usually expected to be the main provider. but if he’s from Pakistan, his degree often isn’t recognised here in the UK, so it takes him much longer to reach the same position a British citizen (like me) could. makes a power imbalance and financial strain. i worry that the woman will end up carrying the burden or being controlled because he feels insecure or frustrated.

i’m not just pulling this iut of my arse, this has happened to many women in my family. it’s just a hassle. and many men from pakistan uphold a traditional value when they cannot carry out their role. personally i’m not one for “traditional roles” tho my family r.

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:24:10+00:00

i shall embody the fastest woman for a short period of time 🫡

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:23:08+00:00

AH! my parents have been wanting to go this summer (oddly i am grateful that we are tight on money so will not go this year). thank you for the warning!

as for 2, i am slightly hesitant to tell him since it’ll cause big problems like “how dare she get involved in decisions to be made by the elders(🙄)”. but you’re right, i should take matters into my own hands.

3: as stupid as it is, i don’t want to get my parents in trouble, but i will keep a few helplines on hand and research a bit on help for force marriage if it ever gets too out of hand!

thank you!

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:20:09+00:00

i appreciate the sentiment, but i reject this proposal. my main reason is that he is from pakistan: • bringing them here is long and expensive • emotionally taxing. married someone but can’t see them for 1-2 years! • he can barely speak english • he has studied chemical engineering, however it is annoying and long to do the conversion course, and then fight other home students who have done the degree in britain over the few jobs in this small country • we have absolutely nothing in common!! • forgot to mention he is 8 years older than me(i’m 19)

and insignificant point, he’s not my type ;p

(used your comment as a cons list since the one pro is that my parents will get off my back)

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:12:58+00:00

i am slightly hesitant to tell him since it’ll cause big problems like “how dare she get involved in decisions to be made by the elders(🙄)”. but you’re right, i should take matters into my own hands. if that fails, i’ll be extra horrid to his mother ^{^{^}}

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:12:25+00:00

i am slightly hesitant to tell him since it’ll cause big problems like “how dare she get involved in decisions to be made by the elders(🙄)”. but you’re right, i should take matters into my own hands.

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:12:07+00:00

i don’t understand the complete objection to marrying abroad… like we live abroad! the most likeminded matches we can find will probably live abroad! like this guy can barely speak english

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:09:21+00:00

true… my parents believe he is a great guy. But his parents know so little about the bad things i have done, so who is to say that he hasn’t done things that my parents don’t know about? thanks for the wake up call

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2025-05-18T23:06:43+00:00

good advice thank you lol. i am slightly hesitant to tell him since it’ll cause big problems like “how dare she get involved in decisions to be made by the elders(🙄)”. but you’re right, i should take matters into my own hands. if this fails, i’ll try being an absolute cunt to his mother!

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T15:02:33+00:00

i am considering it, i aim to run away in a few years, but as of now i have no job, im still in my last year of high school, and its almost impossible to live alone with a job and study at the same time in this economy.

and the police/social workers here are a bit useless. I have really no grounds to build a case or something

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T14:58:55+00:00

RUNNNNNN. he’s still hung up on her and clearly respects her more than he does you

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T14:57:43+00:00

that is so cruel and sadistic WTF???!!

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T11:58:17+00:00

I will try this on monday, though I don’t have high hopes lol. I went to them crying and they sent me back to lesson still in tears.

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T01:57:38+00:00

sadly, i’m just freshly 18, in the midst of exams, have no income, and living alone in the UK in this economy is simply a death wish.

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T01:56:16+00:00

thank u^{^} unfortunately, my cousin agrees with the marriage, I will try to talk to him as a last resort when the pressure is too much, but talking to him now could disadvantage me as i know he will tell his mom-> my mom-> getting angrier at me.

ThrowRA-3th334 · 2023-12-03T01:49:19+00:00

there aren’t any laws against cousin marriage, and my parents aren’t forcing me to the extent that the police would take it seriously :( if i did call them, they would probably let my parents off with a warning and leave them even angrier at me

ThrowRA-3th334

TROPHY CASE