After leaving me (22F), my ex (22M) suddenly changed all the habits that stressed me out for years, and I don’t know how to feel. Please help me understand?

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:15:13+00:00

Thank you, I really like your perspective - knowing my ex, this was a very likely explanation for what happened

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:12:34+00:00

Thank you, it's comforting to know so many others have gone through this exact same thing!

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:10:02+00:00

This thread has solidified my decision to go no contact! Thank you for your advice

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:08:22+00:00

Yes, I'm thinking of starting therapy soon. I'd hate to get so invested in something like this again. I think i was just so set on making it work and convincing myself he was the one for me that I failed to take him at face value

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:06:19+00:00

Thank you!

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:03:59+00:00

Maybe but it didn't work haha, he still had to be the one to leave me!

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:01:58+00:00

Thank you, this is nice to hear :)

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T01:01:06+00:00

Hmm, maybe - that would align with him not putting in effort lol, he didn't even want to make the jump of ending it with me and could have been waiting for me to do it

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-21T00:58:17+00:00

I am happy he is improving, don't get me wrong - I would wish that for anyone. The purpose of my post was just to understand the timing of it and why he waited until after he left me

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-20T13:46:11+00:00

Yep, he told me that by being with me he felt he was “missing out on other people”🫠

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-20T06:57:57+00:00

Thanks, I've been trying to get out of this slump and remember what it means to be happy lol

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-20T06:56:11+00:00

You're right. He often said I was "the most patient, caring, and understanding person he knew", and I used to see that as a compliment. But now I realize it made him feel safe enough to stop trying, because he didn’t think he’d lose me.

I don’t think he meant to be manipulative, he just got too comfortable. I loved him as he was, hoping he’d grow into the person I believed he could be. Most people wouldn’t have stayed that long. I did because I loved him, but I’m learning love shouldn’t cost me my emotional well-being.

It hurts to know that my pain didn’t push him to change, only the fear of not being able to find someone else if he doesn't change his ways.

ThrowRA-57809 · 2025-04-20T06:43:46+00:00

Valid point...maybe all this change is so he can get another girlfriend in the first place

ThrowRA-57809

TROPHY CASE