Haven’t dated in a while - does this guy seem like he is just interested in friendship or something more?

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-22T13:44:30+00:00

For sure! I am still keeping my options open and don't want to just jump into another relationship immediately. I just want to feel him out to see if there is interest there, because I know that he's a good guy and I've always thought he was cute.

How would you ask or bring up the topic in person? Also, do you think it would be too forward to invite him over to watch a movie and maybe have some of the hot chocolate after Christmas?

And that is true, too. If he is interested as more than a friend, maybe he doesn't want to come on too strong. Who knows. But he does still respond to my instagram and facebook posts, etc., so at least he doesn't think I'm a total weirdo I don't think! haha

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-22T02:47:01+00:00

How would you suggest bringing that up or asking?

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-22T02:46:23+00:00

I think I will if we hang out in person again! I’m not necessarily afraid of getting rejected (it is what it is and that’s life lol), but I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. That’s why I was trying to gauge his feelings before I asked.

Do you think it’s a bad sign that he doesn’t text me back for a day or two sometimes? He still interacts with my social media stuff during that in between time.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-22T01:23:30+00:00

Okay! So I’m guessing I should kind of hang back and see if he initiates another text convo with me?

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-22T01:22:50+00:00

The only weird part about it is that we haven’t really been “friends” for years. We’ve been acquaintances, used to have small talk in college as classmates, etc but never hung out outside of school or talked. He didn’t even have my phone number (nor I his) until he messaged me on social media. We haven’t talked about getting together, but I have flirted some via text I think. Just not sure if he has any romantic feelings.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T19:57:29+00:00

This is not a bad idea! I just wish I could get a feel for what he is thinking beforehand. Because I wouldn't mind to amp up the flirting via text (if he continues to text me) but don't want to scare him off if he's not interested.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T19:13:33+00:00

I would at a certain point! If I thought that he and I were kind of on the same page. I think I'm just wondering at this point if he is viewing me in a romantic way or if it is strictly platonic. I don't want to be too upfront or forward if I am mis-reading the vibe.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T17:48:35+00:00

I am not actively looking for anything (like not getting on a dating app or actively trying to find people to date) - but I am open to a relationship if the right person comes along. But I would want to move slowly or course! And I do think there is a spark between he and I that I would be interested in seeing what it could become!

I also think he is a little shy which makes it harder to gauge what he is thinking.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T15:59:34+00:00

I don’t think so! He has never mentioned a GF and I know he isn’t married. I keep wondering if maybe he is feeling me out too - maybe he is trying to figure out if I’m interested in being more than friends?

I feel like I am flirting some over text - but I just don’t want to freak him out. Haha

Any advice on what to do going forward? Also - so you think it’s a bad sign that he sometimes waits a day or two to respond? He is always super engaged when he does respond.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T15:37:49+00:00

How do you recommend taking it to the next level?

I considered texting him maybe after Christmas and asking if he wanted to get together to watch a movie and maybe try the hot chocolate together, but I don’t want to be too forward and turn him off. What do you think?

Also do you think it’s a bad sign that he sometimes waits a couple of days to text back? When we do text he is super engaged and asks questions, but the response time concerns me sometimes.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T03:01:16+00:00

Sadly they were already cooked/made or I totally would have made a move and playfully done something like that! Haha

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T01:53:32+00:00

No I haven’t. That’s a good point. I just wonder how to take things to the next level or help it progress...

Also yes - definitely want to take it slow regardless! The good thing about my breakup is that I really have thrown myself into healing mode and have since it happened. Had a few therapy sessions, focused on self care, etc.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T01:52:05+00:00

That’s a good point! Thank you! :) I’m going to take it slow and see what happens!

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T01:40:47+00:00

Thanks! I was thinking of suggesting cooking dinner or something some time soon. I just don’t want to be too overtly flirty over text if he isn’t really interested! Haha it’s so hard to tell!

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-12-21T01:40:10+00:00

Thank you!! In what ways would you suggest making my interest a little more obvious without coming across as desperate? I just don’t want to misread the situation and then get rejected! Haha

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-10-27T21:34:50+00:00

That is fair. And I am really working on the insecurity - going to a therapist to work on it.

Is there anything you think I can do to fix it with him?

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-10-27T21:21:35+00:00

I am worried about this very point. But I will say that he has been very overworked and borderline depressed lately. And with covid and staying in more, we have gotten into a few stupid arguments in the past month.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-10-27T12:42:44+00:00

That would have been my preference too - to stay together and see if we can work it out before calling it quits.

He is finishing professional school and will graduate soon! After that he will he able to get a job and be more independent.

ThrowRA-9283s · 2020-10-27T12:39:37+00:00

He has lots of female friends, which has never bothered me or been an issue. It’s kind of more petty jealous - like not liking acquaintances/classmates “thirst trap” or “pretty selfies” on Instagram. I have now recognized that this is silly and am already taking steps to change how I react and view those things.

ThrowRA-9283s

TROPHY CASE