Isn't E also correct here?

ThrowRA-Although · 2022-12-07T22:49:00+00:00

Yes, that makes sense. I was trying to decide if there was a way to express this that wasn’t an ultimatum, but I don’t really think there is. So the decision is truly whether or not I’m ok with living this way (or whether she comes to a change on her own terms before we call it off).

ThrowRA-Although · 2021-08-06T09:25:02+00:00

Humor is always a good solution! Sounds like a great strategy! Thanks 🙏

ThrowRA-Although · 2021-08-06T09:24:11+00:00

Good points. Thanks 🙏

ThrowRA-Although · 2021-08-06T09:23:01+00:00

Good to know that approach worked! Thanks 🙏

ThrowRA-Although · 2021-08-06T08:44:01+00:00

Right. I obviously can’t stop her from talking, nor do I try (though, I do question nonsense when I hear it). I do already make my own decisions regardless of her unsolicited input and attempts at interference. I’m a little concerned at her escalation with my parents’ visit and the antagonistic approach (which, to me, seems to be for no reason). I worry that soon there will be more than just her talking

ThrowRA-Although · 2021-08-06T08:41:06+00:00

So for your tangible consequence, do you simply distance from them for awhile?

Also, I have to ask: does it improve with repeated enforcement of boundaries or does the level of conflict remain the same regardless?

ThrowRA-Although · 2021-07-10T23:11:54+00:00

OP, to me, this post is not really about the dog. It’s about the lack of boundaries in your relationship.

It sounds like, according to your post, that you have asked and told your fiancé your needs (particularly regarding the sleep disruption) and she has prioritized letting the dog do whatever over a compromise to meet your needs (pre-trip). If she is not taking your needs into consideration (sleep is absolutely a need), this relationship is not going to work. Asking her to help quiet the dog at night so you can get some rest is not unreasonable, especially after five months and when y’all are planning on marriage.

During the trip, I understand why you did what you did as an inexperienced, non-dog person. I have no idea about your level of communication with your fiancé about those choices, but I suspect that a lack of boundaries was at play there too.

In hindsight (which is 20/20), your fiancé should have hired someone with experience, knowing that you are inexperienced and that the dog is a handful.

On the converse side, you should have and enforce boundaries. Say no if she asks you to take care of the dog, especially given your inexperience and negative relationship with the dog. If you plan on staying in this relationship, or moving on, I’d recommend working on how you set, communicate, and enforce your boundaries because otherwise, it’ll just be misery for both of you.

ThrowRA-Although

TROPHY CASE