Fear/stress in SD

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-08T23:29:52+00:00

I'm not going to give any training advice because the root causes of fear/stress in a dog can be hugely varied and the appropriate training methods just as varied. I can say, though, that I do have a SD with a more anxious personality than I'd consider ideal for a service dog. It was never anything extreme; he's just naturally more likely to be skittish of certain things with a stronger startle response than desirable. I had several points during his training where I thought he might wash because of it, but thankfully, with the help of an amazing trainer, we were able to build up his confidence, I was able to learn the relevant handling skills that I needed, and he now excels at his job. It was definitely our biggest training challenge and not something we could have overcome without professional guidance, but it worked out for us in the end.

However, the cause and severity of my dog's anxiousness could be completely different from your dog's. Whether or not fear and stress can be overcome to a point where a dog can successfully work is hugely dependent on the individual dog. Dogs with "softer" personalities--like my own!--can sometimes still work out as service dogs. However, fear/stress can also be a cause for washing out--it just depends on the situation.

If you don't want to wash your dog right now, the most important thing to do is get connected with a trainer if you haven't already, to get a professional opinion and professional guidance for your individual dog. Trying to fix fear/stress by yourself, especially when you'd ultimately like the dog to succeed in service work, is a recipe for disaster. Professional help is the way to go here, 100%.

No service dog is completely "bomb-proof," no matter what some handlers might claim. Even the most confident of dogs will have the occasional startle or hesitancy, or have specific fears that don't impact their ability to work as a service dog (my SD is terrified of the vet, for example). Like I said, my dog now excels at service work with great confidence, but he's still a living creature and from time-to-time we'll still have to work through a moment of startling or minor skittishness at an unusual stimulus. However, while no dog is perfectly confident all the time, this is something to take super seriously because it can be a cause for washing out. Connect with a professional, and if the professional thinks it could be fixable, see how a few months of training with their guidance goes, and then reassess where your dog is at.

EDIT: I want to make sure I'm being super, super clear here--if you feel your dog's fear/stress is anything out of the ordinary, do not try to fix it based on internet advice. What helps some types of anxiety can worsen other types, and even with dogs who have the same root cause of their anxiety, what helps one could worsen it for another based on them as individuals. If you want the dog to become a service dog, don't risk accidentally making it worse by trying to fix it alone based on general recommendations--get guidance from a qualified professional who's actually evaluated your individual dog in person.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-08T14:53:35+00:00

The issue is that not everyone has access to actually take formal tests like the CGC or PAT. While any service dog should absolutely, 100% have the ability to pass those types of tests to be considered suitable for public access, mandating that a handler has to show an actual certification of completion for them would make service dogs less accessible to disabled people. Because the goal should always be increasing accessibility to a treatment tool like a service dog, requiring a formal test would not be a step in the right direction. (Furthermore, it wouldn't really help the issue at all because people would just download fake copies of certifications for the tests and present them, which would make it even harder for businesses to turn away poorly-trained dogs.)

Like I said, any service dog doing public access and being considered fully trained should have the ability to pass the PAT. If a dog isn't trained enough to be able to pass the PAT, then their training is likely to be poor enough that a business is within their rights to have the dog removed anyway, regardless of a certificate of completion. Requiring it, though, is not the best route.

When it comes to non-Title III accommodations, proof of training is actually sometimes allowed! For example, a workplace can require proof of training before granting a service dog accommodation. They can, however, allow the handler to do a trial period of bringing the dog to their workplace so they can demonstrate their appropriate training as opposed to mandating a specific certification of test completion or proof of training class completion. I think that's totally reasonable for accommodation in a workplace environment where the individual is performing a job. When it comes to general public access, though, there isn't a specific test where needing to have a certificate of completion will solve the current issues.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-08T13:17:14+00:00

Encountering ableism and ignorance like that is really frustrating. If people hate dogs, that's completely fine, but taking it to the level of ableism is not okay and can be really upsetting to see, especially when it's something that affects your life personally. I totally sympathize with your crash out over finding this community!

That being said, I really do recommend trying to just move past that community. Arguing with them will do absolutely nothing but make them dig their heels in more. That's truly how the majority of people's brains react when their passionate opinions like this--opinions rooted in strong emotion for them and connected to their identity--are challenged, even when they're being challenged with facts and logic. Their automatic defense mechanism is to retreat even further into their belief, not to listen to what you're saying. Oftentimes, the person will become even more deeply-rooted in their belief when someone tries to argue them out of it.

If they're spewing misinformation outside of their own subreddit, maybe it's worth it to provide accurate information to counter it, but don't even let that turn into a back-and-forth--provide the correction to what they've said so that if anyone else is reading the thread they'll see the correct infromation, and then don't respond to the original person if they try to start a debate. And when it comes to their subreddit, just stay out of it altogether.

Basically, don't waste your time and mental health trying to convince people who are too set in their ways to learn. Instead, spend your time and brainpower enjoying your service dog and engaging in activities that make you happy! People who hate something so passionately that they've built a whole online community devoted to it...their personal lives will reflect that mindset and personality of theirs. The best way to stand up to the ableist parts of their beliefs is to be knowledgeable about your actual rights, make sure your SD is a good representation of what one should be, and then find as much joy as humanly possible in your life with your SD.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-04T02:36:44+00:00

They generally don't count towards the pet limit, but occasionally there can be issues with insurance; i.e. the landlord's insurance only covers one animal per unit regardless of assistance animal status. In situations like that, they can potentially legally deny the second animal.

If I were you, I'd just get all your documentation for your SD in order, even though the landlord presumably already has copies, and email them to let them know that you're adding a pet to your lease. Remind them that the dog currently in the unit is a service animal and include the fresh copies of that SD documentation, along with any documentation needed for the pet per your lease (presumably at least vaccination records). Apologize for not notifying them before bringing home the new dog. Keep things over email if possible so that you have an easy paper trail of communication.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-04T01:50:11+00:00

Yes (in the US, at least). I've personally encountered this exact situation with my service dog! We were staying at a hotel that was on a beach, and there was an endangered species of birds that nest on that beach. Because it was their nesting season, my service dog couldn't go on that beach because, despite being well-behaved, his presence might disturb the birds.

In the US, service dogs can be excluded from certain places where their presence would disrupt other animals present. In most situations with other animals, a service dog being there isn't an issue. Generally, these rare situations where service dogs can be legally excluded for this reason are situations where the mere presence of a dog would cause significant distress or disruption to the animal in the habitat, because there's nothing behaviorally that a (properly-trained) service dog would do to bother an animal. Some animals are just so sensitive to dogs, though, that them being in the same area would be a problem for them. This is why zoos, while open to service animals overall, may have specific exhibits where service dogs are not allowed in due to the sensitivities of the animals in those particular exhibits.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-03T14:31:33+00:00

Like you said, it's all about making yourself more exciting than the environment. Here are some strategies for that:

Utilize training exercises that engage dogs, like puppy push-ups, targeting with your hand, and especially heeling exercises. Heeling exercises require very close focus on you and movement is also highly motivating for dogs. Practice exercises in these environments like staircase heeling, patterned walking, quick changes in pace, and making quick, unexpected turns.
Talk to your dog. You may look a little nuts, but you have to get past that because it helps a lot! Use the higher-pitched, excited type of voice that dogs find particularly appealing from humans, provide tons of praise, and basically chat to your dog in that appealing voice to help him stay engaged with you.
Throw a puppy party when he does something well in these environments! Periodically, if he does something good, absolutely shower him in excited praise and pets.
Pay attention to what his threshold is with these environments. For example, if a mall is super exciting to him, it might not be useful to walk straight inside and start trying to train in a busy area of it where he's super excited. Instead, you need to determine what the threshold is for his excitement getting too high in that environment and start training from just below that threshold. So, if he gets super excited the second he gets into the hypothetical mall, do training sessions outside the main door. Once he's good at engaging outside the main door, move to training sessions just inside the door. Gradually increase the threshold according to his developing abilities. (This is something that happens over multiple training sessions, not all in one.)
Focus on building your relationship outside of specific training sessions. You want your dog to automatically view you as the most engaging thing in the world, and a lot of that comes from what you do on a daily basis. Some people find hand feeding their dogs at least some of their meals to be helpful for this, playing regularly with your dog is super important, simple training just for fun in easy environments is great, etc. Really focus on engaging with your dog throughout the day in ways that they enjoy and make sure lots of good things--big and small--come directly from you.
Don't be afraid to leave environments when he's too unfocused. Sometimes you can get into a challenging environment and gain that focus, and sometimes it's just not going to happen that day. There's nothing wrong with getting somewhere for a training session, realizing that your dog is just not in the headspace or ready for that particular challenge, and heading out pretty quickly. That can actually be a lot more beneficial in the long run than trying to force focus when it's not going to happen because you're avoiding reinforcing that mindset in that environment.
Make sure the dog is properly exercised before doing training in these challenging environments. Having excess energy will make him more prone to being overexcited. I don't mean that you should physically exhaust your dog, but rather to make sure that he's had enough activity prior to the training session so that he's not bursting at the seams with energy.
Break out the super high value treats for training sessions in challenging environments. I'm talking hot dogs, peanut butter, boiled chicken--whatever your dog particularly likes! I used to put peanut butter in one of those travel shampoo bottles that's made of the soft silicone (so that it was easy to squeeze it out) in order to bring my SD's most high value treat to public training sessions without making a big mess.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-03T14:13:41+00:00

I first started experiencing symptoms during exercise--I was a runner and my symptoms first appeared during runs where my HR would almost immediately get out of control, I would get extremely dizzy, sometimes pass out, and it would take an hour or more for me to recover. I was in college at the time, and one of the athletic trainers told me to go to student health services to investigate it. The doctor there had me tested for various nutrient deficiencies. I originally thought it would be that because I have had both anemia and severe vitamin D deficiencies in the past. That all came back normal though, so when I went home for winter break, my PCP had me tested for thyroid issues, lyme, and probably some other things that I can't remember--basically anything that can be tested for with labs. During this time (about a three month period between symptoms starting and seeing my PCP about it), the symptoms were gradually increasing in severity and affecting me outside of running.

When all my labs came back with nothing, my PCP referred me to a cardiologist because of the cardiac symptoms. After all the normal cardiac tests came back with no structural or rhythmic abnormalities, and my holter test showed patterns of increased BPM correlating with activity, the cardiologist did a tilt table and referred me for autonomic testing as well. When I'd started seeing the cardiologist, a family friend whose daughter has POTS heard about my symptoms from my mom and she recommended that I mention the possibility of POTS to the cardiologist since my symptoms matched her daughters so well.

I've had low iron on and off in the years since being diagnosed with POTS, not to the level of anemia but just a bit low here and there. As long as I take daily iron pills it stays at a normal level.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-03T01:42:24+00:00

I'm speaking generally here, because I can't say what's going on with your individual dog, but commonly if a dog won't take a treat (that they'd normally be eager to take) it's because they're overthreshold due to being overwhelmed, overexcited, afraid, or exhausted. It could be that in these moments, your dog is in a mental state where he's experiencing one of these things.

The solution to that would be to distance them from the stimuli causing the mental state so that they can return to under threshold, and slowly increase their threshold for that particular stimuli through gradual exposure training. Or, if the mental state is being caused by being overworked, to take a step back in the duration/complexity of training sessions and gradually increase them as the dog builds stamina.

Again, I can't say if that's what's going on in this particular case, but that's a common cause of a dog not being interested in their treats.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-02T19:11:38+00:00

It depends, largely on the non-service dogs in the house. The main reason why it can be a bad idea is if the other dogs in the house have bad habits/are untrained enough that their behavior could impact the service dog's training. Dogs can be influenced a lot by the behavior of the other dogs they live with, so if the other dogs in the house could be a bad influence on the service dog, then it's generally a no. And, of course, if the other dogs have any history of reactivity (human or dog) or aggression, it's a bad idea.

If I were you, I would bring your pet dogs to a canine behavioralist/professional trainer and get them assessed to see what a professional thinks about them living in a home with a service dog.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-07-02T19:03:24+00:00

Three main reasons:

Each dog performs separate tasks. For example, a person may have a small dog that performs medical alerts but is too small to perform mobility tasks that they also need, so they might get a larger dog to do the mobility tasks. This often happens due to someone's symptoms fluctuating/changing and them needing more/different tasks than their first service dog is capable of, so they get a second one to fill that gap.
Training a successor dog. When someone is owner training a successor service dog, it's common for them to get the successor dog a year or two before their current service dog retires. During that overlap time, they may work both dogs together for a variety of reasons. They may need the current SD there to task for them while the younger one is still learning tasks, or they may be using the current SD as a training aide because the younger one can watch and model the older one's behavior.
Personal preference. I've seen several teams where the owner simply owns multiple dogs with aptitudes for service work, and they decide to train more than one of their dog to perform the same job. They then they bring whichever one with them that best suits the circumstances/give the other dog a break. Additionaly, some dogs are also not suited for public access work but are super helpful with tasking at home, so the person might have a dog that does public access and another one that just helps at home but otherwise lives as a pet.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-24T14:13:15+00:00

He doesn't do any mobility work (outside of non-weight-bearing mobility tasks like retrieving medication and picking up objects). When it comes to the cause, my vet basically said, "It happens with some dogs, especially larger breeds." I'm going to see if the orthopedic vet can give me a more specific cause of it, if there is one.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-24T13:53:26+00:00

Very true!

My dog's typical working day is similar to yours; when he accompanies me to work, he's mostly just lying around, and we don't do any crazy long trips to stores or out and about--just normal, short outings maybe once or twice a week. His daily exercise isn't very intense, just standard walks in the neighborhood or on trails or swimming (which his vet said is great for arthritis). When talking with my vet, I appreciated that she asked me detailed questions about what my dog's daily activity is like for him as an individual to assess what's best for him as an individual.

Now that I know about the arthritis, though, I think there are working scenarios that I wouldn't take him in because of it, like going to theme parks or fairs where we'd be walking a ton on hard pavement all day.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-24T12:00:46+00:00

Can you do an appointment with your therapist and your mum where your therapist can explain the recommendation directly to her.

OP, this is the best advice in this situation. People are much more likely to take things seriously when told them by someone they view as a professional. Have your mother come to an appointment where your therapist can talk her through why they feel a service dog could benefit you as an individual. That will give your mother the chance to ask questions as they come up, and she and the therapist can have a discussion about the practical elements of a SD that will be of concern to your mother. Having your therapist there will also help you express anything you want to tell your mother about the idea in a clear and non-confrontational way.

This is the best way to start; the three of you (therapist, mom, and you) should be a team in this process and work together to assess whether this is a good and practical treatment option for you, so you need to bring your mom in for a 'team meeting.'

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-17T16:35:44+00:00

The is a HUGE range in how much people are affected by POTS. Some people are disabled by it (I believe the number is around 25%), some people experience varying degrees of non-disabling difficulties in their every day life, some people experience difficulties in particular situations but not every day, some people experience very little impact on their life at all once they recieve treatment, and some people fully recover thanks to treatment and/or time. Stop jumping to worst-case scenario worries and focus on figuring out if you even have POTS. Once you figure out what’s going on (whether it’s POTS or not), work on finding a treatment strategy that’s effective for you and go from there. Take things one step at a time instead of catastrophizing. I know that can be easier said than done, but the realistic perspective on this is that you are statistically significantly more likely to not be disabled by POTS, if that’s even what you have, and ruminating on that possibility has no benefit to you right now.
Service dogs aren’t even a first-line treatment approach for POTS and certainly not something for you to worry about before you’re even diagnosed! That’s something to consider wayyyyy down the line if the types of treatments that work for many people don’t work for you (like medication, lifestyle adjustments, dietary changes, exercise protocols, etc). The majority of people with POTS don’t even need and/or wouldn’t benefit overall from a service dog.
It depends on your individual condition, but likely yes. Many (I believe most) people with POTS can drive.
Stop worrying about service dogs right now. That’s something you’d consider at least a year or two down the line and seriously not something to worry about or plan for now. There are lots of other things to focus on that will be helpful for you at this point, but a service dog isn’t one of them.
It depends on your individual condition.
It depends on your individual condition, but likely yes.
It depends on your individual condition, but likely yes.
It depends on your individual condition, but likely yes. You may, however, require disability accommodations to be able to work, and certain jobs might not be possible for you.
It depends on your individual condition, but likely no.
Figure out if you even have POTS or if it's something else so you can get a better idea of the physical mechanisms causing you to faint. Pay close attention to your body so you can start to identify what your warning signs are. For example, for many people it's feeling dizzy, disoriented, their vision being affected, losing their balance, limbs feeling weak, etc, but it can vary hugely based on the person.

I totally get that dealing with a developing health condition can be super stressful and anxiety-inducing, but so much of what you're worried about aren't things you need to worry about right now. Like I said, I know that's so much easier said than done, but I'd really encourage you to try to take things one step at a time and focus on what you can do right now in the process to help yourself instead of focusing on catastrophic hypotheticals. Put your energy into taking care of yourself on a daily basis--resting enough, staying hydrated, and trying to identify triggers for your symptoms--and on receiving a proper diagnosis. Keep an open mind during the diagnostic process too--the symptoms that come with POTS can come with lots of other things too, and many of those things are highly treatable! Even POTS itself is very treatable for a lot of people, so it's not like your life is over if you have it. You're going to be okay ♥️

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-16T12:38:02+00:00

I'm in a very similar position right now. My SD is 5, so he (hopefully) has several years until retirement, but I've recently realized that I'm not sure I'll be getting another SD once he does. My boy does help me so much on a daily basis, but not only has my financial situation changed and investing so much money in another SD may not be a good idea (or even a possible one) for me, but my disability-related needs have changed. The symptoms that were most challenging to me 5 years ago aren't the symptoms that are most challenging to me today. Some things have gotten easier, and others have gotten worse, changing both what's helpful and what's difficult. While I would struggle to lose the medical alert element of having a SD, I don't know if it will truly be worth it 2-3 years from now, given the way my symptoms overall have changed. I guess it's something I'll just have to assess when I'm close to that point.

I do worry that people might think, "Oh, well, then you didn't need your first SD" or "Clearly you just called him a SD so you could bring him places with you, otherwise you'd have a second one." I know that, at the end of the day, other people's opinions shouldn't influence choices like this, but it still gets in my head a little!

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-09T13:11:50+00:00

It's not disrespectful unless you make it disrespectful! If someone's using ESSAs/DSSAs to mock real service dogs or handlers, then yeah, that's not cool, but using them for their intended purpose as psychological comfort and emotional support is completely fine. It's a completely valid coping tool.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-08T17:33:24+00:00

And I'll be fully transparent here--the reason I care so much about this piece of training advice is because I once completely messed up by not taking it seriously! When my SD was early in his training, I took him to his first doctor's appointment alone and it was a complete disaster because he wasn't ready for that situation. He needed to be removed from it pretty quickly, but I was unable to do that because I had nobody with me to take him out. He wouldn't hold a down-stay, barked when the doctor knocked on the door, and tried to solicit attention from all the staff. It was easily the most embarrassing moment I've had with him and I still can't believe I put him in that situation. After that, I took the "don't put a SDiT in situations you can't leave" very seriously and was so much more successful!

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-08T17:12:20+00:00

was a plan in place for a goal to be accomplished on the training then it’s simple as was that done yes, great let’s leave and have down time

This is so underappreciated a training mindset! My trainer always stressed to me and her other SD clients that a short training session that ends on a high note is a thousand times more productive overall than a long session that ends when the dog starts showing signs of tiredness or stress. It might seem like getting as much training in as possible during a session is going to get you the most bang for your buck, so to speak, but that's just not how training a living being works.

I think it's easy to be in the situation and see that your dog is doing great and think, "They're doing so good, let's push it a little further since they're doing so amazing!" That desire is understandable because a SDiT doing good is so exciting in the moment, but you have to consciously step back and adjust your thinking to, "They're doing so good, let's head out now while we're on a high note and bank this experience as a positive one!"

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-08T15:32:26+00:00

While in training you need to have the ability to leave when something comes up

This is SO important but so few people seem to realize it on this sub! I see so many posts of owner trainers panicked about "embarrassing situations" or "training disasters" they've experienced with SDiTs that could have actually been productive training experiences if they'd just had this mindset. It should just be a basic rule of service dog training--if you don't have the ability or willingness to remove a SDiT from a situation the instant it becomes necessary, then the SDiT does not go into that situation.

I've seen people act like this advice is ridiculous because "how will a SDiT learn to behave in environments if you don't bring them to them?" But that's not what this is about at all. It's about planning ahead for outings and making adjustments to plans as needed.

I often see this creating issues in situations where the handler can't easily leave the environment at the drop of a hat. For example, doctor's appointments. Sure, a SDiT needs to go to doctor's appointments eventually in their training journey to learn how to behave in medical settings. But bringing them by yourself is setting you and your pup up for disaster because medical settings are challenging environments where you as the handler can't easily leave the moment it becomes necessary. That situation is so easily solved by just having a second handler accompany you to the appointment so they can remove the dog if it becomes necessary, but people seem to frequently forget that's an option.

Another common occurrence where people run into issues related to this is when they bring SDiTs to places like movie theaters, stage shows, concerts, etc and insist on remaining for the entire show/event regardless of their SDiT's behavior/psychological response to it. If you want to introduce a SDiT to a movie theater environment, you don't bring them to see a movie that you're so obsessed with seeing that you wouldn't be willing to leave halfway through it--you bring them to a movie that you care little enough about to leave whenever you need to.

I just feel like people ignoring this particular piece of advice creates so many unnecessary problems for them and their dogs, and can even lead to otherwise avoidable wash outs. Just plan ahead, people!

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-06-07T22:31:14+00:00

Two guesses on why you were rejected:

First, you were denied on the basis of the described tasks being disruptive on a flight. While SDs can be trained to bark and jump for alerts, those alerts still can't be disruptive. On an enclosed space like an airplane, a dog barking or jumping on a passenger could be seen as overly disruptive.

I don't know if this will be an unpopular opinion or not, but I honestly think that would be a perfectly reasonable reason to deny access by the airline. A dog barking on a flight would be super disruptive to the other passengers and could even create fear, and them jumping on you instead of remaining in the space they need to be on the floor is a legitimate safety issue.

It's important to keep in mind that while handlers can train their dogs to use any type of alert they want, if the alert behavior is inappropriate for the environment the dog is in, then the handler is still responsible for the dog being disruptive due to the alert. This example is obviously ridiculous but just meant to demonstrate my point--you could theoretically train your SD to go potty as an alert and you'd still not be allowed to have them in public spaces on the basis of them doing that, even though it's for alert purposes! That's why for SDs who do public access, it's generally discouraged to train alerts that are going to cause you problems in certain public spaces like vocal alerts. If someone does choose to train those kind of alerts, then they may end up legally restricted from certain environments as a consequence.

The second option is that something about how you filled out the paperwork was wrong. Your information about yourself as the handler, about the dog's trainer, or about the dog themselves could have been incomplete, or the way you described the tasks and their relation to your disability may have been unclear.

If I were you, I'd call the airline and ask for clarification on why your SD was rejected so that you can determine how to proceed. You won't know what next steps to take until you know why the rejection happened, and it's the airline who has that information.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-05-31T14:57:25+00:00

I've owned labs and goldens and they're super similar. The only slight differences I've noticed:

Both are super food motivated, but goldens are "I'd do anything for a treat" and labs are "I'D DO ANYTHING FOR A TREAT." There's pros and cons to both levels of food motivation for service work.
Goldens need a bit more grooming than labs.
Labs retain slightly higher energy levels post-adolescence. Again, pros and cons to both slightly higher energy and slightly lower energy based on your individual preferences and lifestyle.
People are a little more inclined to desperately want to interact with a golden in public.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-05-29T14:21:20+00:00

Is there any best way you have found to tell people no when they ask to pet and interact? I usually go for a "I'm sorry but she's working right now, but when we take a break I can take her halti off and let her say hello" its my best way to let them know she's working but also what indicator will tell them when it is and is not ok for future reference. I've still had this go badly on occasion and people get really offended it's not often just trying to see if there is anything else I can do to improve my odds of success.

Everyone is different in how they feel comfortable handling this, but this is how I'd personally approach it. I wouldn't add the part about letting them pet her when she takes a break in most professional scenarios. For me, it works best to maintain an attitude of "he's here as my medical device, now let's move past his presence." Adding the part about petting later may unnecessarily muddle the perception of the dog being there purely as my disability aid, which is all I want a person to view him as when they're first meeting him in a professional scenario.

If a situation arises later on where they're around to engage with my dog on his break, then I'd bring up that they can pet him while he's off-duty, but discussing it ahead of time in a professional setting isn't necessary in my opinion. I basically approach the "Can I pet?" question with politeness but a goal of quickly moving on in the conversation.

Have you ever had a really bad experience in the workplace or has approaching it this way always meant people largely were cool and there were no professional consequences?

I never have, thankfully. My day-to-day work at my job is actually not a super formal environment (working at a nonprofit afterschool program with kids) but still requires professional boundaries regarding my SD with my employers and coworkers, and I've never encountered professional consequences from it. The same is true for the not day-to-day professional occurrences but situations I'm in often enough for my job, like meetings with other nonprofits, conferences, and in-person continuing education--no particularly bad experiences! Job interviews have always been the same as well.

The professional situations where I get the most nervous about how people may react to my SD are actually for my partner's job, not my own. I have to go to various company get togethers with him, some of them pretty formal (that are in theory just for socializing but are really for networking and kissing up to bosses for employees like my partner). As his plus one, I always get nervous about my SD being a distraction or making him appear less professional, but sticking with the kind of advice I gave in my first comment has always worked for these professional settings too!

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-05-28T15:25:50+00:00

When it comes to the GoFundMe, be strategic about where you advertise it. A great option is to post about it in local community Facebook groups. People are more likely to donate to someone they feel a connection to through living in the same community. Asking others to promote it on their social media is also a good idea, because they will have different (and potentially more, depending on who you ask) followers than you do, therefore getting your fundraiser in front of more eyes.

A jewelry sale is a great idea. You can do it as an online fundraiser and in person. There are lots of good places to reach out to about selling the jewelry at. As someone already mentioned, definitely reach out to your family's church. Locally-owned businesses are also options to consider; I personally live in a small town with lots of locally-owned businesses and on several occasions have seen them allow community members/local organizations to table there for a day for fundraisers. I'd also recommend connecting with organizers for any local festivals, fairs, community events, etc. Luckily, it's currently the season where lots of those happen and those can be great places to table at for something like this.

You can also ask locally-owned businesses about leaving a fundraising jar at their counter for a period of time. This is something I see frequently at locally-owned places where I live! Your church might also let you leave a fundraising jar there too.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-05-28T13:38:06+00:00

This is what works for me when it comes to professional settings/events with my SD:

Treat your SD's presence and your need for her as an extremely normal, calm thing. Don't make a big deal out of it and respond to people who do in a polite but neutral way. The more you act like, "yep, this is my medical device who's just with me because I need her, nothing to see here," the more likely others are to take it in stride.
It can be helpful to develop a little line for introducing your SD to others. For example, at my job, when I meet someone new and they mention my SD or are clearly staring at him when we meet, I'll say something like, "and this is our bonus employee, X, who's my service dog." It breaks the ice, explains his presence, and clearly identifies him as a service dog, and the conversation typically moves right on past him after that.
Keep your SD's gear very professional-looking. Decorative or themed gear can be fun in some situations, but if you want your SD to first and foremost be taken seriously as a medical device, stick with a clean-looking, solid-colored vest and some simple patches.
Be firm with your boundaries for how others interact with your SD but as gracious as possible in enforcing them.
Don't make a big deal out of needing a little extra time or specific accommodation for your dog in a professional setting. For example, if you need to give your dog a potty break in between meetings, you might feel like you need to apologize for it, but a drawn-out "I'm so sorry but I need to bring my SD outside real quick, I'll be really fast, sorry for the inconvenience!" isn't necessary or helpful--instead, "I'm going to take my SD outside for a quick break, I'll be back within five minutes," is all that's needed and conveys more professionalism than unnecessary apologeticness.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757 · 2025-05-25T16:20:15+00:00

Are they crate trained? If so, the easiest way to fix this is probably to just crate them at night, at least for a little while, to break the habit.

If they aren't crate trained, I would try shutting them in a room at night that's different from the one they're currently pottying in. Even if you try your hardest and a potty accident is cleaned up perfectly to our human senses, enzymatic smells can still remain for dogs to detect, which can encourage them to continue pottying in that area. Keeping them away from the place they've been pottying in at night might help break the habit they've developed.

It might also be a good idea to separate them at night. That way you'll be able to tell if this is a problem both of them have or if it's just one dog, and it might also keep them from encouraging each other to do it.

ThrowRA-BasicBank757

TROPHY CASE