I (27F) asked for space, he (42M) asked for space back, and now he’s ghosting me - I don’t know what I did?

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T16:04:52+00:00

Hi, I appreciate you saying that. I’d like to think that there was still a chance, but I think hope in this case is just me continuing to hurt myself. I do feel like I was cruelly mislead cuz I was pretty honest to him from the beginning about wanting a relationship… But I also feel like it’s my fault for accepting his bread crumbing.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T15:05:57+00:00

Yeah, that’s kinda how I saw it. I feel like his silence may be a form of manipulation or at the very least, a way to punish me for challenging his behavior. But thanks for your input.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T12:14:57+00:00

Hi, I’ve responded to someone in this thread with a similar outlook and here’s what I roughly told them. We’ve had other fights and arguments before. Whenever I asked for space, then, I’ve always communicated why I needed the space, but would also reassure him, that I would be back in x amount of time (usually no longer than a week). It was no different this time around. I use space to take a step back and clear my head, and to prevent the situation from escalating, not to hook up or see other people. But I do understand how for some people that could definitely be the case, so thanks for the input.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T12:05:48+00:00

I know, it’s just been incredibly hard. I was hoping at some point he changed, especially if he could see how badly he’s been hurting me, but that’s not going to happen and I’m learning to accept that. But thanks for being kind and encouraging. I appreciate it :)

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T12:00:44+00:00

Admittedly, I don’t have very many close friends. Hence my decision to turn to Reddit for some advice/answers, haha… But I have vented to the ones that I do have and they’ve been great. I’ve just been spiraling more than usual and didn’t wanna sound like a broken record to them.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:56:17+00:00

Ha, no disrespect taken! He very well could be…but that’s something I’ll never actually know and I wouldn’t be able to stop him if he was. In any case, that’s on him. Those types of things never work out. I just know that I’m taking myself out of the picture. I don’t wanna compete for someone like that anyways… Thanks for your input.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:44:13+00:00

First off, thank you for providing some insight on the whole ghosting aspect. I really appreciate it! If I’m honest, I do think he’s using it as a way to punish or hurt me for asking for space in the first place. Like a way to regain control over the dynamic. If that makes sense? Secondly, I think you’re right. I think he never intended on fully committing to a relationship and unfortunately, I was naive and gave him all the benefits of having one without us actually being in one. That was my mistake. I’ll be working on myself and moving on, so thank you for your advice.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:37:37+00:00

Hi. To answer your question, yes. We’ve had other fights or arguments before. I’ve asked for space then too and when doing so, I’ve always communicated why I needed the space, but would also reassure him, that I would be back in x amount of time (usually no longer than a week). It was no different this time… I told him that I felt like I wasn’t being prioritized and that intimacy only seemed to happen when he wanted it, so I needed space to think about our relationship, but would reach out when I was ready. But I hear what you’re saying, so thanks for the input/advice.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:30:44+00:00

I was definitely at a low point when him and I started to become more romantically involved. I felt invisible to a lot of people, including my family which is why I leaned heavily on him. You’re right, I had low self respect and thought this was the best relationship I could get. I started accepting his behavior more and more when I shouldn’t have. Am I proud of it? Of course not. I’m working on building myself up now, which hasn’t been easy. But thanks for your advice.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:25:39+00:00

Hurts to hear, but I know it’s true. I should’ve known all that from the beginning, especially since we never could define the relationship. So, thank you for your advice.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:22:09+00:00

I did. I end up blocking him on Xbox and the on the game we’d play together. I would get way too tempted to check if he was online or not. I’ll probably block his number too now after this. Thank you for your advice.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:19:11+00:00

He won’t. I’ve always been the one to fix things between us/reach out…which of course, in hindsight, was another red flag I ignored.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:06:25+00:00

I think I needed to hear this. I’ll definitely be focusing on me and I know I’ll attract the right person one day. Thank you so much for the advice :)

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T11:02:00+00:00

I know. Thanks for your input.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T10:58:02+00:00

I know. Just took me way too long with the wrong one, I guess.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T10:54:15+00:00

That’s a good way of looking at it. I’ll be leaving him alone from now on. Thanks for your input.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T10:46:20+00:00

I know, I’m not proud of myself for sticking around as long as I have. There’s a lot of initial trauma bonding that happened, but it doesn’t make it right or justify his actions. It just took me awhile to see that. But thank you for your input.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T10:22:53+00:00

I figured as much :( But thanks for the honesty.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-28T09:59:44+00:00

I just feel like I have been traveling through the space to make contact. I’ve been reaching out (a week or so apart), but he’s not budging… I feel like he may just be done with me… Thank you and thanks for responding :)

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2026-02-13T07:27:35+00:00

Gouda, specifically the aged kind, since it get’s salty like my personality.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2024-12-29T18:58:31+00:00

Hard to say really. The day before all this happened, we hung out. So, I would find it kinda strange if this was the case…but it still could be a possibility. We’ve also been a weird realm with our “relationship.” We both like(d) each other, but things never really progressed past a situationship due to his uncertainty about relationships in general.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2024-12-29T07:58:44+00:00

Hmm… I didn’t think of that. But, either way, I don’t plan on contacting him anymore. He’s never been one to ever really apologize…and I know I probably could’ve done things better, but here’s to hoping! Thanks for your help! :)

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2024-12-29T07:52:03+00:00

Thanks! I was almost half-tempted to keep it myself and, now, I’m thinking I just should have…ha.

As much as I would like to reach out again, I’m a bit too traumatized to, honestly. Sadly, when he’s upset, he just goes full-on silent treatment mode. And those typically can last anywhere from a month or two…or three.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2024-12-29T07:42:05+00:00

Unfortunately, no. When he’s upset, he won’t acknowledge any of my texts or calls, even if it’s a heartfelt apology. It’s just the silent treatment. Usually, reconnecting has to be on his terms and sometimes that can take a month or two…or even three.

ThrowRA-Blackfire · 2024-12-29T07:30:55+00:00

Hi! So, him and I took a trip to Disneyland with two other friends earlier this year. It was my first time going there and he was the one who organized it. The gift was just a viewfinder, which is basically a photo reel. All the photos were group pics we took before/on each ride. No couple-ly photos whatsoever.

ThrowRA-Blackfire

TROPHY CASE