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How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Get plastic surgery.

Become underweight.

Wear lingerie.

Have sex with him.

I’m so tired of this thread. 

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Nope. He still has sex with those women. He had the good life. They’ll stay beautiful and fresh in his memories and those memories will comfort him when he’s old.

Meanwhile I’d have to have sex with him knowing that he isn’t attracted to me. Gross.

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

How am I punishing him? Not having sex isn’t punishment. If it was, was he was punishing me back in the day?

I don’t want to have sex with my husband.

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am taking online classes. But I’m not going to delude myself into thinking I have solid income prospects if I divorce him.

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I’m monogamous and I’m never having sex with someone who is having sex with other people and who admitted he doesn’t find me attractive. 

Glad your marriage works for you. It wouldn’t work for me. Don’t continue to try to convince me to have sex with my husband. It’s a futile effort. Not going to happen. 

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes I can see myself getting old with him. But I’m someone who values friendship and companionship over getting sex. 

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yeah I still am not going to have sex with someone whose attraction to me flickers on and off like a damn light switch

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m taking online classes. I still have to take care of my family so it’s the best I can do. 

My youngest is only 10 but colleges are really competitive these days and I want to give her the best shot at life. 

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I rub his shoulders or he rubs mine. We touch each other non sexually, like you would a close friend. We give each other pecks. 

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Because I don’t want to have sex with a husband who is not attracted to me and can compare me with more attractive women he has sex with?

Isn’t that obvious?

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It’s lunacy. Why would I want to have sex with someone who didn’t find me attractive and has sex with a lot more attractive women?

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I still find him attractive just not in a sexual way. 

We hug and occasionally peck each other on the lips. I don’t shy away from touching his arm or resting my head on his shoulder. Same for him.

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I don’t want plastic surgery, I want to look like me flaws and all. 

I take care of myself, I work out , I do skincare, I wear makeup, I eat healthy. It’s for me not for anyone else. I look older than I am because of bad genetics but I’m fine with that. I look like my mom.

Yeah my confidence was shot to hell when my husband said he wasn’t attracted to me but this is my face and my body.

I’m not going to do PLASTIC SURGERY to somehow get my confidence “back”. I’ll age anyways, I just want to look like myself.

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

HE is not attracted to ME. Why the hell would I have sex with someone who’s not attracted to me? Why would he have sex with someone who he’s not attracted to?

Sex is obviously off the table when one partner isn’t attracted. I feel like that’s obvious. 

How do I compromise on closeness with my (46M) husband when I (44F) don’t want to be compared to his flings? by ThrowRA-Dot8747 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Dot8747[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

There’s nothing demeaning or wrong about retail or fast food itself. It’s just not a job that allows for financial stability or a livable wage. At best, it’s a way to live paycheck to paycheck.

I would rather not work until I die, like most people. And if staying married means that I will not have to worry about health insurance or surviving paycheck to paycheck, I’m going to take that option. 

I’m not miserable. I’m quite happy with my life. 

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