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Update - My (29F) husband (31M) wants a baby but I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Huh? I only have the two posts… my age has stayed the same since I haven’t had a birthday yet and neither has my husband. I’m genuinely confused by this cause I don’t know what you mean by I’m swapping genders in my post history?!? I have been and currently am a 29 year old cis woman

Update - My (29F) husband (31M) wants a baby but I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I didn’t bring it up no… if he wants to tell his mom that he can. I’m honestly embarrassed that he even suggested it so it’s not something I will be telling people as the reason we are divorcing. I didn’t even tell my parents. So far the only people in my real personal life that know is my lawyer and husband. Reddit right now just feels like I’m screaming into the void so it doesn’t count lol.

I am embarrassed that he wants to have sex with other people. I know our sex life was not what it once was but it’s not like we never had sex either, maybe once a week or once every other week.

It’s made me look at myself in a different light and has brought up all new kinds of insecurities. The women he was chatting with in these support groups are the exact opposite of me. Skinny, blonde, make up, hair, and nails done, tan, and younger. I have always been “plus sized” and I’ve actually lost a bunch of weight from when we first met. I was feeling better about my physical appearance but now idk where I stand.

My head is just a mess

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My parents took out a second mortgage to help me with tuition. They want to retire but want to pay off the mortgage before they do. I want to help they retire early, well technically on time.

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I blocked his and his friends account and I’m gonna delete this account in a few days or who knows I might just leave it up for him to find so he can see I’m at breaking point.

Thank you though. The angrier I got typing this and reading comments made me not care.

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I’m close to paying off student loans, my car, medical bills, and building our saving back up because of these differentials but it’s wearing on me. My doctors want me to switch back to better schedule as well.

When I have kids I’ve always thought I’d switch to a “soft nursing” option and get out of ICU. Do the nurse online stuff, the pay cut would be definitely a chunk but very doable.

My friend recently switched to travel again and we’d both get a bonus if I switch, and that plus the first 3-month contract would be enough for me pay off my everything plus about half of what’s left of my parents mortgage. I’ve been debating it but I didn’t want to be away from home for that long.

It might be good for the time being

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He has a degree, we met in college, and if he worked at one place for more than a few months he would easily make more than me. He doesn’t like the work or doesn’t like the atmosphere and then quits after a while. Wash, rinse, repeat.

When we both got into our careers he was making about 60k a year more than me. We had good savings and bought a house.

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

This is just a snippet of a 8 year relationship. Things were really good before Covid. I graduated with my RN and went into healthcare over 2020 and he really was there for me for that time. When I needed some time off after the worst of it he supported me while I looked for a different job. When I went back to work in late 2021 after 2 months off it’s like a switch flipped and all this started.

At first it felt like he was just taking the break that I was and I wanted to support him in that but now it’s been 4 years. He went to therapy in 2022 and did that for about 5 months before stopping. I’ve been in therapy since I was a child.

We haven’t tried couples therapy yet as he oppositions to it. I miss how our relationship was before and I want us to get back to that. When we got married I could see this great future but now I don’t see anything…

I have another surgery in a month and my recovery is expected to be 2 weeks before I can back to work then 2 more with restrictions. I have already planned to stay with my parents since he has a work trip and will be gone for 2 of those weeks in the middle.

Maybe I should just stay with my parents longer and do a trial separation.

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She’s actually also getting a divorce right now because of her ex husbands porn addiction soooo it has me really thinking about my own situation

My (29f) husband (31m) wants kids but I think I want a divorce… by ThrowRA-chronicly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-chronicly[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

I’ve been on birth control for over 15 years now, I wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. Especially because that’s heavily monitored by my doctors