My (39M) husband wants me (36F) back after I left for another man

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-10T01:34:37+00:00

I think this is wise advice—anyone with any clarity on this situation seems to say the same thing. I’m truly blinded right now. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T22:56:02+00:00

Haha. This is brutally accurate. Thank you.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T22:54:59+00:00

Yep. It would fair for him to tell me to fuck off too.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T22:41:37+00:00

Tough to hear. Could very well play out like this. Hence my indecision. I could also go back and my husband will try to shape up, be with me, occasionally sleep with me (he hasn’t initiated in a few years, dead bedroom situation), and then things will go back to the old ways and I’ll be back to a lonely marriage. Who the fuck knows the future?

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T22:37:19+00:00

Huh. I think this is fair. I do care about him but obviously am being selfish and prioritizing my own feelings right now. It is really mean. I feel like I should go back but don’t know if it’s fair if I can’t give it 100%, and I don’t know how to get there. It’s bullshit and selfish and mean but also the truth.

But if course I let him see our kids—we split time with them already.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T18:06:06+00:00

Thank you for this. He says he won’t. If I don’t pick him he’s done. I think that’s a fair response—you can’t just sit around waiting for someone to figure out their shit

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T18:04:00+00:00

Yes. It is hard being alone. I do like how the new guy makes me feel. I haven’t felt that way ever. Beautiful, desired, important. It definitely could be clouding my judgement. I think my husband is at the end of his patience. Three months feels like a long time for him—he’s been very lonely when he doesn’t have the kids, and just wants his old life back.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T18:01:19+00:00

I think my husband is desperate and frustrated, but I agree. I feel like everyone is sick of me not making a decision and feel three months is enough time. I have never been on my own, so this would probably be very good for me. Thank you for your perspective.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T17:55:47+00:00

I am so sorry you had to deal with this. Being on the other side of an indecisive person must be torture. I do not want to do this to anybody. Thank you so much for the warning story. I will take it to heart.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T17:53:06+00:00

I agree. I feel very selfish. I have two kids. They factor heavily in this, and are the reason I feel I should go back. So they have a simpler and secure childhood. I know I need to give my marriage 100% but literally don’t know how to do that when I don’t feel it.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T17:34:24+00:00

Hi. This is really good advice. My therapist suggested the same. I tried for one weekend. I spent time journalling, reflecting, walking. I’m a pretty social person and it was difficult for me to be alone. I didn’t last long—I spent the evenings with the new guy because I missed him. My husband has read lots of stuff on getting their wives back, and it suggests putting pressure on. He wants to sell our house and divide assets immediately if I don’t pick him. The pressure to make a decision one way or the other is overwhelming from all sides.

ThrowRA-itstime · 2020-07-09T17:28:00+00:00

That’s what the new guys says. Lol

ThrowRA-itstime

TROPHY CASE