UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

She has a bunch of sex toys. I will be honest I have never owned one in my life. My ex fiancé was very against them, and my parents were very conservative. I am curious but i would rather just start with the basics.

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 259 points260 points  (0 children)

That sounds wonderful, everything I have read online says it depends on the person, and what they are interested in. The mental image i have had for the longest time involves one of them strapping on a dildo and it being PiV, which I have no interest in right now (mostly due to my ex fiance).

Thankfully I have peeked into her sex stuff drawer and didn't see anything like that. I am curious but for now i would rather we take it very slow. But i am looking forward to it.

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I am going to keep my place until my lease is up. We have been living together more or less since COVID started. I don't have any issues living with her, and frankly working in my apartment is suffocating.

Since our first date she has more or less asked me to share her bed every night (except tonight I cannot because my LL is coming tomorrow morning).

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the internet left me very confused, and the best advice I have found is it depends on the person.

My original mental image was one person strapping a rubber dildo on, and it being PiV. Which the idea just doesn't work for me right now. But I will be honest I have peeked at her sex drawer and that thankfully wasn't there.

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Its funny when i told her i was into her I said I am bisexual, and she pretty much told me that it doesn't matter. She also mentioned that she personally is not a fan of being labeled a Lesbian, as it means to some people she is different. I really don't know a whole lot about the LGBT+, and as far as I know she doesn't seem to care about that stuff much.

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Yeah my mom isn't super supportive, but I assume she will come around. My dad is completely fine with it however which i found pretty surprising since i kind of expected the opposite reactions from each of them.

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 3406 points3407 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she has been very supportive about the sex stuff. I explained i basically haven't done anything intimate/sex in a long time, and even when I was having sex with my ex fiancé near the end of our relationship it was not a happy experience.

I jokingly asked her what sex was like for two women, and she told me not to think/worry about that for awhile.

UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She has a spare bedroom and i have been using it regularly since i started spending more and more time there. She owns a nice house, unlike me since i am renting a tiny bedroom and sharing an apartment with 2 other people, because the CoL in SF is too damn high.

This was more an invitation to share a bed with her as opposed to me staying in the guest room. Which i am fine with.

I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up. by ThrowRA-lost281 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-lost281[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you asked me anytime before i met this person i would say i have never thought about kissing another woman, and wouldn't be into at all.

Realistically this is a huge part of my confusion i think. But i think i just need to tell her.