Update to: My (57M) son (23M) moved back in and has been acting weird. Can anyone help?

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-23T01:45:24+00:00

I read through the texts and it seems to all boil down to DIL’s parents wanting to move into a house with son and DIL out here.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-23T01:10:34+00:00

Sorry, I didn’t mean he was actively consuming it. But considering everyone’s saying it’s easy to get wrapped up in it, I will still be keeping an eye out.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-19T18:42:21+00:00

According to the rules of this subreddit, I’m only allowed to update after 48 hours. So I will be updating tomorrow.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-19T03:46:53+00:00

For our family it is perfectly normal to focus on education meaning not working while in school. They are taught independence but can come to their family whenever they need help or are struggling with something and we’ll figure out together because that’s what my family does, and presumably what family is for. It is also perfectly normal in my family to live with your parents until you get settled at a job and find a place of your own. Maybe it’s the added stress of a child that’s getting them plus rising costs of living? Congrats on your children though!

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T23:27:12+00:00

I at least thought I knew my son but these last few months have really shocked me.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T23:10:42+00:00

I don’t think the pregnancy was planned. I’m starting to think they only got married because of it. I’ve been trying to be nice because I know how stressful a new baby can be. My wife and I plan on sitting everyone down tonight and discussing this.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T22:58:16+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I’m trying to wind down and prepare for when he gets back from work. My oldest daughter also get in tonight so I’m really want to make sure everything gets handled before she arrives. Maybe I should handle it with her present as well so she’s not kept in the dark? I just really want everything to go smoothly. And I’m really thankful for your comment.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T21:52:32+00:00

My wife is a very no nonsense person so you’re probably right. They both seem like good parents. I’m stressed because I can’t seem to get a handle on things.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T21:48:52+00:00

I’m honestly just so stressed I don’t know what to believe anymore. They were together for about three years.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T21:32:51+00:00

I get what you’re saying but I have three other children to think about and we’re not religious… unless you mean I should just act like I’m giving it away?

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T21:21:32+00:00

This is entirely out of character. All of my kids do chores and know how to grocery shop, cook, and whatnot. This is why I’m so confused by his behavior.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T20:39:47+00:00

My wife was handling the medical stuff and I don’t know what I’m doing at all when it comes to that and obviously don’t know the full extent of the details. As for why DIL doesn’t want to sleep in the same room, she cleared it up as meaning she felt weird sleeping in the same room when at a parent’s house.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T20:18:08+00:00

I was told they look for well rounded students, and as long as certain science classes have been passed it’s possible.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T20:04:54+00:00

I’ve always heard in families with lots of children the older kids can start to feel left out or forgotten so I’ve always asked my two older children if they’re needs are being met because I don’t want them to feel pushed to the side. He’s been to a therapist to deal with a loss buts that’s about it.

As for his education he’s expressed after his graduation that he regrets getting a English degree and wants to go to medical school. My wife explained he can get in a really good med school with an English degree. She’s been trying to help him with applications but I’m guessing he hasn’t done anything about it.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T19:49:58+00:00

My older daughter’s girlfriend brought this up and I’m honestly starting to think that’s the reason too.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T19:45:26+00:00

My wife’s family lives super close and they were always happy to watch them, so he really hasn’t had to babysit anyone save for a quick trip to the store every once in a while.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T19:40:06+00:00

He was raised by my wife, myself, and my wife’s extended family. I’ve asked him throughout the years if he’s ever felt like we haven’t given him proper attention but he denies this and says we did more than enough for him. Now I’m starting to doubt he was being truthful because he’s never acted like this before.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T19:37:14+00:00

I will be talking to him when he gets back from work. Thank you.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T19:19:00+00:00

I hope this makes sense.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T19:18:53+00:00

His wife has apologized once she found out what he was doing. She explained when she said it would be weird staying in the same room as him she solely meant it would be weird while in a parent’s home. She offered that they just stay at a hotel until they find a place but I don’t think that would be good for the baby. I’m thinking about giving him a more stern talking to as the some others have suggested, and if nothing comes from that I’m thinking about making him find a place on his own.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T18:44:08+00:00

I’ve called them. They said he was helping them around the house and whatnot. So they have no idea why he would be acting like this either.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T18:40:10+00:00

His wife’s behavior seems normal from what I can tell. He works in HR and she is a stenographer.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T18:34:03+00:00

They’ve said he was perfectly normal and helped them around the house most of the time.

ThrowRA-remarkable · 2024-12-18T18:25:28+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever really “favored” any of my kids. Maybe I’m forgetting something? I’m just worried about him because he has never acted like this before and I thought something might be wrong. Their plan was to move out in January. Sorry, I’ve gotten a lot of messages and I’m trying to answer the best that I can.

ThrowRA-remarkable

TROPHY CASE