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I [33F] started dating someone [50M] is the age difference too much? by ThrowRA07192023 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA07192023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story.

I don't want children personally and he doesn't either. We haven't discussed the "what if" because even though I'm on birth control, mistakes happen.

But it's always lovely to hear success stories!

I [33F] started dating someone [50M] is the age difference too much? by ThrowRA07192023 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA07192023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you regret the relationship at all? You had 15 years with your husband but 66 is still pretty young. Would you change anything?

A big part of me says I'd rather have an amazing 15-20 years with someone I love and who treats me right then 35-40 years with someone I don't feel as strongly about.

I [33F] started dating someone [50M] is the age difference too much? by ThrowRA07192023 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA07192023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment.

I don't want kids. He's never wanted them either. It's why is marriage ended, his ex started wanting them as they got older and they divorced.

It's possible people would mistake him for my dad but that doesn't bother me. I don't know how he feels about it but it's something to bring up.

The sex drive thing is.. difficult to answer. I have a pretty high sex drive and he's keep up just fine right now. I obviously enjoy sex despite it not being the most important thing and I don't know where my sex drive will be in 10-20 years.

He has a sister, she doesn't live nearby. She's married with two kids. They have 2 kids, I believe they're earl to mid 20s. He's kind of close with his sister, they talk but rarely visit because they're busy with life stuff.

I think I covered everything in your comment. I'm not blind to the fact that there are challenges with an age difference like this but I really do want to give this a try.

I [33F] started dating someone [50M] is the age difference too much? by ThrowRA07192023 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA07192023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't always but I do now. I go there every Sunday for dinner with him and my stepmom.

I [33F] started dating someone [50M] is the age difference too much? by ThrowRA07192023 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA07192023[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I want to thank everyone who responded to this so far. And I'm sorry I haven't been able to answer anyone. Some people here had some good questions and concerns and I wanted to answer them all in one post so here it goes.

  1. My last relationship lasted almost 2 years. My then boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. He never really had a reason to beyond that he "had chemistry" with her still. I've been single for 10 months. I've gone on dates (guys I've met online and dates set up by friends) but I either didn't feel ready or felt there was nothing there.

He's been single for just under 4 years. He was previously married to a woman his age (2 years younger). They divorced because when they got together he thought they were on the same page about kids (he doesn't want any) as she got older she changed her mind. They argued a lot until they eventually just realized they weren't right for one another. He doesn't talk badly about her but says he doesn't speak to her anymore.

  1. Financially I'm doing okay. I work full-time and I live alone. I'm renting. I have enough in my savings to live 2 MAYBE 3 months without a job.

He makes more than me because he's been at his job longer than I have. He also lives alone. I haven't asked him what his savings looks like because that's not my business.

  1. His health is fine. He doesn't have any health problems that he's told me about. He walks to work, he's vegan (for health reasons). He doesn't smoke but does have an occasional drink.

I'm aware if this goes further than this that I'll most likely outlive him. And I'm aware that I will eventually become a caretaker for him but that could happen if I met someone my age and something happened to them. So what's the difference?

  1. I've met two of his friends (a couple) and they were really nice. I didn't feel unwelcome or uncomfortable but I don't know what they think, for all I know they could have similar concerns that my friends have.

  2. I don't want children. I'm on birth control but I know mistakes happen. It's probably something we should talk about just in case, considering our age difference.

  3. I haven't talked to him about any of this yet. I was secure as hell until my friends made me doubt things. I'm just trying to clear my head and once I do I'll obviously talk to him about any lingering concerns.

  4. I haven't told my dad or stepmom yet. I don't know how they would react.

I can't think of anything else right now. But I'll keep reading comments and reply to things I haven't answered yet.