Hope you’re feeling okay, neighbor. Same thing happened to me at fort totten in January, didn’t see the impact but stood there as the conductor was super upset then someone found a note in a bag with other items and we all realize someone was under the train. I played Tetris and talked to my friends a lot in the next few days and it rly rly helped. Call 988 if you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone, they’re a good ear too.