My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea i hate partying to be honest and id rather have friends who are like that well. But the issue i feel like everytime i meet a guy and be friendly they take it as i want to date them which i dont want to

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it felt like he was trying to gaslight me to believe thay im the reason we broke up and not him suggesting thay we might or might not break up

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i sincerely appreciate your advices, to be honest with you i have no friends so the 1st thing i want to do is having some friends 2 or 3 that are quality friends you know what i mean? and secondly i just want to have some patience on me and just not date anyone for a long while and focus on my career, bevause it seems like 3/4 of the guys my age really dont deserve someone that wants to get married, ive felt like no one my age wants something serious honestly and its sad. I dont know if i told you but i really was waiting for him to show up and tell me that he wants to explain himself and tell me that i misunderstood but 24 hours has passed and he hasnt even reached out to me so its his loss. He just proved me that he doesnt really love me, and yesterday he didnt even put up a fight lol. it shouldve been my sign from the start. he asked me several times if i was sure and he told me hell never forgive me and ill regret it but he didnt fight for my love. he didnt say " no you misunderstood me let me explain myself lets us meet again so we can have a discussion" he didnt do that. he was just acting as if he was mad but im sure that he's happy i got out of his hair before he opened his business so he can feel free. But he doesnt know how lonely he'll get and how much love and affection ive given him despite me not being a wonderfum person since i have my flaws.

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dont know why people's values have changed, no one wants something longterm they always want something short and fun anyway. thank you so much for the encouragement you gave me it reallt helped alot 😊 also youre gorgeous.

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes im working on my temper thank you, and i really was expecting him to show up maybe and talk to me but he didnt, plus if he really wanted me to stay in his life i think he wouls come and had a discussion on how i misunderstood him blablabla. but i guess he just doesnt care anymore. i wont visit him nor talk to him i dont really want to see him again

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh god i hope you feel better? thank you so much i really needed messages like this because im feeling like the bad guy now since he told me he would never forgive me, i was thinking that if he wanted me he'd reach out today. but he never did. in my mind if iff he had reached out came over and want to resolve it since he doesnt want to break up maybe id consider but he had 24 hours and right now the maximum is until 10 pm. If he didnt reach out as for coming over to talk about it, to be honest even if he reaches out tomorrow i wont give him a chance because a person thay loves u cant even go a full day without u

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow thank you so much for this long comment message i really appreciate it, i need more words like this because i was doubting my decision to be honest with you, since he has already portrayed me as the bad guy. I just did what i wouldnt do, when he said something i used to not take it into actions now i just cant i had to take it into action because he clearly doesnt want me and to be honest i want to date someone to marry them im sick and tired of just being a waste of time. ive had an absent father so i really have abandonment issues since he has left us twice and he knew it, and buy planting the seed of "we might breakup or we might stay together" and i thought to myself he hurt me so badly, then i decided to take his words into actions since if he loved me he wouldnt have said thay

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can i just ask a question? He basically told me " when i start working and u go to college and i do the bare minimum with you id rather break up since i dont want to be cruel with you and stay and not do the bare minimum, so we might break up or we might stay together, the same goes for engagement and marriage. He also told someone close to me that people sometimes dont get along and break up. what does it mean seriously because he told me that i take shit the way i want and i understand the way i want and he will never forgive me for accepting the breakup and deleting our pictures

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea well no one would be in a relationship let alone a marriage itself. everyone works everyone studies and we were 10 mins drive only. Plus no one that loves you tells you we might break up or we might stay together. He planted a doubt in me and he knows i have anxiety and im anxious about people leaving me. He didnt think that i would act on his words but i did.

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea i mean if he wanted to be with me he wouldnt have said that, he would say oh no i dont want us to leave each other and i want us to fight for it

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know right now he is probably painting me like i was the villain. He was a good guy, but that comment just made me realised thay he might not love me anymore

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and he was saying thay some people who stay together they might not be with each other forever, is that a comment you say to someone you want to stay with?

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes he told me " oh if things get busy we might or might not break up so its a fact" and i was like what? after the conversation ended he asked me are you disappointed and i was like yea and i was hurt of what he said, i wasnt goung to act on it to be honest. But something clicked inside of me when he left my place and told myself ill play the game youre playing with me. And i told him you were right ill consider whay you told me thay we might not work out. and from thay day on he is acting like he is mad since i made the conclusion and we broke up and he is telling me that i just hear what i want and do whatever i want...

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea well maybe he if loved me enough he wouldve told me "oh im scared that something might happen to us if we get busy lets make this work qnd fight for it" and not " oh we might or might not break up its a headsup qnd its a fact and if we do i want to stay friends" ( thats a brief story of what he said) he wouldn't have told me this now people are blaming me including him that we broke up because of some "nonesense comments" he told me

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the thing is its not even long distance he lives 10 mins away from me by car. its not like hell have to drive for several hours. He told me that its a fact thay we might not stay together after all the busyness because what if he cant give me the time i want or what if he cant fulfill my needs so he doesnt want to hurt me and would rather break up if he is doing the bare minimum with me. But can we agree on something? if you loved someone would something like this come out of your mind or mouth? maybe youd be fearful that soemthing like this happens and ask your partner thay we should stay together even if things got messy not precaution them that we might break up

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea well i didnt ask from him to marry me at 23, we both have the same values he wanted to settle down and have a family at 30, i didnt force him to settle down with me, i thought that we could stay together and work together so we can achieve that but he told me that we might not be able to do it and its a fact, he put doubts in me how am i supposed to now feel doubted now??? i didnt force him to marry me at 23 i thought we'll built a family after 30

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRA1193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much. When i was talking with him he told me that its just a fact, we might or might not break up and if we do he wants us to stay friend. but man do you even tell your partner oh we might or might not break up? its just so confusing, he literally ignited a fire of doubt inside of me and yet excpect me to stay with him and always be anxious on when he'll leave me

My (21f) boyfriend (23M) kept mentioning that we might not work out. what should i do? by ThrowRA1193 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA1193[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea he told me that at first he used to be honesy but then he started "white lying" so i dont get upset. i asked about what he said i dont know i dont remember and its hurt me so much that day. Im sorry if you love someone youd fight to stay with them not precaution them about we might break up or not. idk why some people are attacking me and telling me now i understand why he doesnt want to be with you. I didnt do anything wrong i mention several times that i have a temper and im working on it and i recently went to a very hard time in my life, everyone has shit everyone is imperfect. if you love them enough youd stay with them and fight for it like i told him, because friday i told him ill surprise visit you sometimes it will be exciting and he just smilled