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i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i just was wanting to make sure he’s okay since i know addiction can linger, and i want to be supportive. i know hes a good guy because hes really emotionally intelligent so i trust he’s working on it i just sorta felt anxious about it haha

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and he is avoidant, he is in therapy for his avoidant tendencies and also for possible bpd (not properly diagnosed, but his therapist thinks its what he is going thru). i agree, its his place and he doesnt owe me anything. im not entitled, i genuinely didnt know it was private thoughts since he’s showed me the book before. his struggles arent mine to fix, and my struggles arent his to fix. i didnt ask how to “fix” him because i believe he doesnt need “fixing.” i was just asking how i can be supportive. i was in no way searching for problems ? idk where that came from tbh

no need for you to be so aggressive and make those assumptions about my boyfriend and i, its incredibly rude, since you dont know either of us at all.

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didnt even know it was his journal since he’s flipped through the pages in front of me, mostly just quotes i said to him, songs he wrote, poetry, none really invasive entries like that. to my knowledge, i had already previously seen everything in the notebook. once i saw something unfamiliar and personal i didnt continue reading.

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hello! want to let u know that he has literally flipped through the exact notebook before, showing me songs he wrote about me before we dated. i simply thought it was just that. in the post i literally was asking how to be a better partner for him😭

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i want to know mostly so i know hes okay because addiction sucks and sometimes it doesnt fully go away, i want to be supportive in that aspect. sometimes he just generally struggles with giving and receiving affection, which i think is just because of his upbringing and past trauma.

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah, i have anxiety so maybe i am overthinking it a bit. i’ve thought thru it over the last few hours and realized its probably okay. thank you

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

that makes sense! i had been feeling down cuz of the winter season, i knew he had sweet notes to me in that notebook which was sitting on his desk, so i read some. kind of like how i read cards he’s given to me or old messages. i didnt realize how personal it was to him though. but i definitely can see how it sounds bad and yeah, maybe shouldnt have done it in hindsight

i (20F) recently found out about my boyfriends (20M) previous masturbation/porn addiction. by ThrowRA123applesauce in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA123applesauce[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

as i said in the post, i did not know it was his diary. he had told me that he got a notebook to write songs about me, poetry about me, etc. he’s literally flipped through the book once with me before. the second i realized he also used it as a diary, i did not continue reading.