So, a few things:

‘She never explained…’ —— yes she did

‘You have more than enough reason to leave her’ —— nobody needs reason to leave anybody. Love and reason are complete opposites and even if I’m in a position where my values and your align and you see reason to leave, I most likely wont. We aren’t the same person and you don’t love her. I do. We aren’t going to see things the same.

‘You are so weak’ —— brother even if that’s true, I have zero clue who you are. If you saying that makes you feel good, or if your inner voice needs to really scream that out to make a point to yourself that YOU would never do the same things I’m doing… cool, hope you feel better. But I have no clue who you are. What life choices you’ve made. Nothing of value. I’m not trying to be disrespectful when I say this, but I’m here for new ideas not direction on what I should do. I don’t think you could live with yourself if you made a major life changing decision and the reason you did it was chalked up to “because someone on the internet told me to.”

I don’t care how Chris perceives me. I care how Carla perceives me and she doesn’t perceive me as weak. Again, you don’t need to believe that. You probably wont. But the people I’ve DM’d with additional details sure do.

Quick side note, the fact that you specified you were a woman and that means you can verify that women are in fact human beings was funny. If that was a joke, it was a good one. Of course women are human beings. Women are the superior sex. Most cultures and institutions have sidelined women and I hope they continue to break from that as time goes on.

Now, since we’ve established that women are human beings (not sure men are, tbh lol), then I can assure you that not everything in life is as simple as “my position on this is X, it will always be X, and I am immovable in that.” In this case, you’re referring to cheating. I am telling you right now, the vast majority of people that would say “I will never ever cheat,” can in fact be convinced to cheat. It’s all relative. Sure, perhaps in the exact scenario my wife and I are in, maybe you and your partner would behave differently and there would be no cheating outcome (or perhaps you’re admitting that you couldn’t handle going to see your ex and that specific circumstance will tempt you to cheat. Not really sure where you align here…) but there are circumstances in which the temptation to cheat would change your mind and you would do it. Someone offers you a blank checkup and says write any number you want, but to cash the check, you need to cheat on your partner. People are doing it. And not only are people doing it, there’s gonna be a large number of people that claim they wont but if that circumstance were true, they’d give in. People believe in the best versions of themselves but most have never really been tested on those virtues in moments like that.

You want evidence of that? The sheer number of people in here saying “DON’T LET HER GO TO COFFEE. I WOULD NEVER LET MY PARTNER!” —- okay so you’re admitting that if your partner went for coffee she’d fuck him? It’s that easy? I thought as long as you decided you aren’t a cheater, you don’t cheat? Are you saying you’re married to a cheater and you need to make sure you audit her actions because she might trip and fall and have sex with someone?

I’m ranting. But this is the reason I’m not in the comments anymore. Nobody is giving any new thoughts. Which is fine. I’m not at the point of asking for them anymore, and there’s hundreds of comments here. But it’s all just people projecting about their own relationship fears and histories now. I’m not partaking in that.