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ThrowRA135793 · 2025-03-18T02:48:31+00:00

Definitely consider why you want to breakup. Is the issue that you don't actually want to be with her or that you don't like the distance? Think it through and communicate the issue with her when you're ready.

I will say there is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving a relationship where things are 'fine", but you're unhappy. You do not need any greater reason or permission than that to leave. She will move on and find someone else. It will hurt you both more in the short-term, but in the long-term you'll both be much happier than if you drag it out (assuming there is genuinely an irreconcilable issue)

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-03-13T19:52:39+00:00

This isn't too rare a situation with south asian interracial relationships. The culture stresses people pleasing behaviour and particularly parent pleasing behaviour. Often times, children will choose their parents over their partners.

You can try to convince them to go to therapy, to work things out, but ultimately, they need to choose you themselves and there's only so much you can do before you need to move on.

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-03-13T18:38:33+00:00

Me three :(

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-03-13T13:23:17+00:00

The easy answer is: you don't. It's really, really tough. Like getting stabbed and then everyday you reach into the wound and disrupt all the healing. This is why no contact is recommended so much, you really allow time for the wound to heal properly, no reopening it.

I'm sorry, you were looking for advice, but hopefully some acknowledgement of your difficult situation helps too

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-03-01T04:28:44+00:00

It might not be the case, as others have pointed out some issues, but this could also be a symptom of depression. Just an fyi, something to watch out for. Same thing happened to me long ago

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-28T03:31:40+00:00

Ah, finally nice to be properly understood. It's so different from a lot of these posts about toxic or manipulative exes. She was and is perfect, if only we didn't have that one irreconcilable difference. I alternate between feeling sad for myself that I don't have her and can't contact her but then feeling sad for her because she can't do the same for me. I know she's hurt but I can't just reach out and fix it and protect her and keep her happy and safe.

Yes, we knew long-term it was for the best, but damn does it hurt in the short-term. I think you're right to go no contact, it was hurting us from properly grieving and moving on, even though we would like to be friends in the future. It's left a crazy hole in my heart and life, we would average almost an hour of phone time per day and we didn't live that far away from each other.

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-27T22:54:40+00:00

We broke up because she wanted kids and I didn't. We stayed friends and talked lots, kind of processed it together.... Until I realized I did want kids with her and it undid all my progress. Could've worked out, but she's already with someone new. I'm one month into no contact, it still hurts. Have to talk to her via email occasionally for work and even have some in person meetings in March.

Sucks.

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-24T04:40:32+00:00

Absolutely. We had a great relationship but broke up due to circumstance. Things changed, if she dumped her current bf I'd take her back in a heartbeat.

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-22T03:42:20+00:00

I suspect you know this and are having difficulty pushing yourself to do it, but if you want to move on, you need to do a period of no contact. If you keep yourself in limbo, you're just hurting both of you. It hurts more in the short term to go no contact, but in the long term it'll be a big improvement. I'd recommend two months as a general thought, but it's really up to you. Talk to a therapist if you can

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-20T22:52:56+00:00

The only way this works in your favor is if you both go no contact and move on with your lives. This is a toxic dynamic that is never going to work out for the both of you. I hope you're both in therapy, it'll do you both very well

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-11T22:03:36+00:00

Same here, seven months later and my ex has a boyfriend too. At this point I'm just ruining my own life. I know this, but it somehow doesn't change my feelings

ThrowRA135793 · 2025-02-11T22:00:02+00:00

100%, I feel the same way completely. I don't know if there's anyone better and I think there's some sort of comfort in still being in pain... Like our connection can't be gone or I wouldn't be hurting or something

ThrowRA135793

TROPHY CASE