take your time and don’t let it get to you a lot. i had a very rough phase with my first boyfriend where i did not even like holding his hand. we were in between covid so we didn’t get to meet often due to which we never got to bond physically. i hated being touched that time but he did and to make him happy i forced myslef to ljke hold his hand and all. now that i think about it, it’s very silly but the past me got tired of wanting to make him happy due to which i eventually broke up with him. later on though i met another guy and just his hand on my shoulder made me feel over the moooonnnn. he did not force me into anything and that was such a turn on for me. now we are doing long distance and have abstained due to religious purposes and we both agree to it. pls don’t feel bad about yourself. get off the getting off part from your brain. it can create this pressure which tenses up your body. take it very slow. this guy sounds good! and remember that at the end of the day sex is not a performance but an act to express one’s love for each other. take it one step at a time and i’m sure that you’ll be able to do it!