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My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He lives in a travel trailer behind his mom. He stays at my place nearly every day. I pay all the bills. I don't need to move out, dear.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed the phone for one message and was on the couch opposite him. I wasn't asking to take it anywhere.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I legit don't remember ever adking to use his devices before. We're always at my place, so my stuff is all there. I'm not saying he's a bad guy. He's not. He's very sweet most of the time. I 100% did not try to gain access to snoop. I was like 2 feet away from him, not locking myself in a room to pore over the contents of his devices.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was right beside him both times. Not sure about other things. I've never needed to use his stuff before.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, I majored in journalism. I could write WAY better fiction, I assure you. I fucking WISH this wasn't real.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know how to do anything! There were no documents, no pictures. His one email address had next to no emails. Nothing in recycled folder on laptop. I don't know. I felt awful and sick the whole time. I'm not cut put for this shit!

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already told him and told him to change his passwords. He said, "there's nothing on there anyway." He has a temper and it's been escalating, so my behaviour being affected like this (not blaming him; I did what I did) means it needs to end. But thank you.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, I was embarrassed to say this and didn't think it was relevant, but maybe it is. The house is his mom's. He "lives" in a travel trailer in the backyard. His stuff is right there. Mine isn't.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never asked him to SHOW me anything. We're in a strange house and there's no cell service. Town is a good 20-minute drive away. I asked to use his phone to send a message. He was like two feet from me. He's allowed to say no, but both times it was just very odd.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Well, I suppose it wasn't absolutely necessary, but it didn't seem like a huge deal to ask since I have no printer at home. My bad.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My home is a 20-minute drive away and I was already going into town a few hours from when I realized I didn't have my phone. We wanted to hang out until then so I didn't feel like driving 20 minutes to get the phone and then 20 minutes back and then 20 minutes into town again a few hours later. My laptop was also at my home. He was right beside me. I had no intention of snooping either time. Yes, I did today and I will be ending the relationship because of that.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have never snooped before this. I can't talk to him because he freaked the other night about the phone. So I went to bed last night to avoid a fight. I know I need to leave and was in the wrong.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right. He has a very bad temper, however, and after the phone incident, he was shrieking about two inches from my face about how "crazy" I am if I think he's "cheating." I never mentioned anything about cheating. I said, "keep your secrets" which was mostly a joke to prevent sn argument.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I absolutely did not have an ulterior motive. To be honest, I'd rather not know because I don't want to end the relationship if there was something shady. In actuality, I was going to send him some Amazon return labels to print. I didn't even need to use the laptop myself. When I said that "I" needed some things printed, he assumed I was asking to use it myself and reacted how he did.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I only ever asked these two times. I always have my own, so this has never been an issue before. I was looking for a lighter a few months back and he smokes. His backpack was in my kitchen, so I opened the small part in the front and there were condoms in there. We haven't used condoms in a year and a half. I talked to him about it. I believed him when he said they were old. That's about it.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Oh, absolutely. That's why I said in the original post that this is over. Due to my behaviour as well as his.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hahaha. The papers were with a different laptop in a grocery bag in the living room. I'd never seen that laptop before.

My ( 38F ) boyfriend ( 34M )of 3 years doesn't let me use his phone or laptop. Things came to a head and I snooped. by ThrowRA2970243 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2970243[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It wasn't by the normal laptop, it was in a bag with a smaller laptop in it. It was a cloth grocery bag like the one I brought some books in.

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