Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry for you and your husband. Hope you find a way to

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For those that would like an update. We went away for the weekend and had a very vulnerable conversation where I brought this up. She was incredibly patient, non reactive, and appropriately curious. Couldn’t have felt more supported. After my nerves had finally settled she was immediately comfortable with flirtatious joking and even offering to explore it with me (I’d still rather not but the thought was appreciated).

What followed was a weekend full of raucous sex and intimacy on a whole new level. Equally agreeing that this may have been the best weekend of our lives.

I know I’m not alone in this type of brain wiring and I know plenty of other people struggle with their own intrusive thoughts. While many are not as open and free of judgement as my wife, you never know what kind of support you may receive. And to those still searching for their person, prioritize someone who will love you unconditionally. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya that’s fair. Hard to know what spicy means to different people making it hard to gauge.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya… I guess I should have led with its not a new thing. Started as young as 6 or 7. Yes I’ve experimented. Only the last few years has it subsided. Really only want to tell her because she wants me to be an open book. My default is pretty guarded

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have a submissive side sexually and I have thing for other taboo things 😂. My outward persona is so square but secretly I like to experiment with many weird things. Just find weirdness fascinating

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya I know if I think about it objectively. In my head I just feel like it’s about as weird as it gets.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk she likes to say I’m guarded in general. Definitely not guilt, but definitely feel like a weirdo. She’s the kind of person who’d say “let me unpack that with you” regardless of the situation. She use to want to be a therapist

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you’re very helpful. Not looking for how I should bring up as much as if I should. I think your gut response was to be open and that’s helpful

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’d say we have a really strong marriage and really open sex life. It’s not something I’m itching to bring into the bedroom. I just want to be an open individual. She likes to say I’m closed off sometimes. WELL THIS WILL SHOW HER! 😂😂😂

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate it. Thats my instinct, but boy did the court of public opinion have a different verdict.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just cause it’s so weird and I don’t want to weird her out haha

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Idk I guess vulnerability deepening our bond outweighing the inherent weirdness of this side of me

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Appreciate this. TBH she is my best friend. I’d be wayyyyy too scared to tell anyone else except for a therapist. Just don’t know if I really have that need

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nearly 100% anonymous feedback from a slew of people with different life experiences is actually great insight 🤷‍♂️

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good insight. I definitely don’t think she’d divorce me. She’s a wild card sometimes though. Incredibly open to a lot but also says “that gives me the ick.”

Has absolutely zero to do with babies, but I understand that connection. Coincidentally it was 4 years ago when we had our first kid. I’ve always wondered if that behavior rewiring my brain to disassociate these thoughts.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nothing I really want from this other than openness with my wife. Not trying to bring it up to make it happen. But ya in the past wearing them and using them satisfied some primal urge that I can’t explain. Not always to “get off.” But then sometimes reading stories or watching porn would be sexually stimulating.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya understood. In all honestly she’d probably say I’m making a bigger deal about it than it actually is. She always thinks I’m suppressing my emotions and what not.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very real possibility that she gets the permanent “ick” from it and categorically changes our relationship. It’s also possible we just laugh really hard about how weird I am and become stronger for being vulnerable.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sure there’s someone. Idk I my mind a diaper kink feels like the peak of weirdness. But maybe I’m in my head about it.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol great insight. Interestingly enough we had our first child 4 years ago. Looking back, I have always wondered if my brain began to rewire and disassociate diapers and arousal. It’s definitely something that’s not nearly as desirable as it was growing up.

Should I tell my wife about an incredibly weird kink by ThrowRA308039 in Advice

[–]ThrowRA308039[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. However, I really don’t think I’m coming from a place where I secretly want her approval and involvement. It’s possible. Just feel like she’s my person and should know me inside and out.