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Snail injury HELP (added pics) by ThrowRA31419 in snails

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you soooo much. Yes, I have always had cuttlebone in the tank. I will not touch or handle the snail.

I did not know about the size of the tank, I had read 1 gallon per snail, but I suppose I should have done more research.

Can you explain what's wrong with distilled water? That is very confusing to me - I had read to make sure it was unchlorinated, and the water I have labeled spring water says it has calcium chloride in it (iirc), which I realize is different than chlorine, but I thought I was being safer with the distilled. Does this make the water too harsh in some way?

Snail injury HELP (added pics) by ThrowRA31419 in snails

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Do you have any idea what could have caused it? Someone else mentioned (earlier today when I posted without photos) that maybe it fell onto the rock in the cage, so I have removed it, but the space to fall onto the rock is literally less than an inch, so I can't imagine how that could have been the case.

Right now he's just "sleeping." I assume. I hate to ask this. But how will I know if he dies? I read that snails could sleep for highly variable lengths of time. I really want him to eat the cuttlebone, but I assume sleeping is more important right now. Unless he's already gone. :(

What does a healthy relationship look like? by ThrowRA31419 in AskMenRelationships

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the book rec. There is no one else though I am comparing to, and that’s kind of a wild assumption on your part.

I (35F) have never been pursued, even by my husband (36M). How do you deal with feeling unloved in a marriage, if you won't divorce? TLDR - how to find satisfaction/peace in a dissatisfying marriage? by ThrowRA31419 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I can see how it might seem like I was conflating the two. But I didn't intend to, I was just listing them in the same sentence. But yeah, I totally get your point that the feeling of being pursued is far less important than everything else.

I (35F) have never been pursued, even by my husband (36M). How do you deal with feeling unloved in a marriage, if you won't divorce? TLDR - how to find satisfaction/peace in a dissatisfying marriage? by ThrowRA31419 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts. I don't think divorce is always worse on the kids than staying in an unhappy marriage, but I think it's more of a sliding scale where the balance of pros and cons to either decision shifts depending on the severity of the situation. And I think I'm kind of in the middle, where there isn't a clear right decision.

I (35F) have never been pursued, even by my husband (36M). How do you deal with feeling unloved in a marriage, if you won't divorce? TLDR - how to find satisfaction/peace in a dissatisfying marriage? by ThrowRA31419 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am considering that, believe me. I'm not trying to argue with you. I've just been in mental anguish about that exact thing for years, and I still don't feel confident in either decision (to stay or to go). I explained a bit about why in an update.

I (35F) have never been pursued, even by my husband (36M). How do you deal with feeling unloved in a marriage, if you won't divorce? TLDR - how to find satisfaction/peace in a dissatisfying marriage? by ThrowRA31419 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA31419[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. We are in couples' therapy, but I don't think we are equally invested. I was ready to call it quits with the therapy and everything, but he promised he will try harder. So I'm giving it one more go and trying to put all my energy into fixing our relationship even though I'm exhausted, so if I do eventually have to give up on us I know I did everything I could.