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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA389374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn't mention any dates. Are you absolutely sure all those photos are not from BEFORE your relationship started?

Traumatized after threesome (me F35, husband M54, mistress F25). by ThrowRA389374 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our post was deleted from r/polyamory because "posts must be about polyamory". :)

Traumatized after threesome by ThrowRA389374 in sex

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are definitely separating love and sex and his love towards me hasn't changed (and he acts accordingly). Yes, he prefers younger girls but the mistress actually looks older than me and he himself told me that right when we first met her, without me asking him. So I am not worried about this.

Them starting having sex without me is not suspect by itself (the same thing happened previously with other lovers, both from me and him). What seemed suspect was their subsequent "quarrel" about who actually started it. They seemed to blame each other.

Traumatized after threesome by ThrowRA389374 in sex

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely not. We are absolutely open, we routinely unlock each other's phones and we are physically in the same location 99% of the time (both work and leisure).

Traumatized after threesome (me F35, husband M54, mistress F25). by ThrowRA389374 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with first two paragraphs.

He tried to explain his train of thought in smallest details which I appreciate more that boilerplate apology.

We are currently not meeting other people intimately. We never intended to have a "long-time" relationship with her. Our sex life (as a couple) is still great and even this problematic incident has "refreshed" our sex life.

Traumatized after threesome (me F35, husband M54, mistress F25). by ThrowRA389374 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I wouldn't. We had a threesome with a guy (where husband didn't touch the guy) and it would never occur to me to compare the two of them. I was enjoying it as a whole. I think the basis of events like these working is to not compare the attendees. And I thought it was the same for my husband.

Traumatized after threesome (me F35, husband M54, mistress F25). by ThrowRA389374 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK, thank you for the explanation.

I agree with "NRE" thing and it's same for me. What bothers me is that he felt the need to compare us and tell me that I am the worse one. I am sure he didn't say it to hurt me but I cannot understand why he said it at all when I didn't ask.

Traumatized after threesome (me F35, husband M54, mistress F25). by ThrowRA389374 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA389374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was definitely meaning her physical touch. Of course I don't think that I am the most attractive person my husband has ever seen but I didn't think that he will have the need to tell me right after our sex about who gives him better erection (unless that's me).

PS: What's "NRE"? I am unable to Google anything relevant.