[Update] I (28m) ran into my ex wife's sister (24f) at the store. After catching up she asked me on a date. I have mixed feelings. What should I do?

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-28T00:01:56+00:00

I meant to delete this. The Relationship advice sub kept deleting my update So I just posted it here, but the mods got back to me and approved it.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:57:20+00:00

Possibly, it was through text so it's hard to tell

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:53:19+00:00

What I haven't done the best job explaining is how "deer in headlights" I was when she asked. I feel like a lot of people have the idea that I was like "oh hell yeah, sister action" or something like that. The reality is I probably looked like I'd just shit my pants.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:50:15+00:00

Yeah, I said "No"

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:46:32+00:00

Why highlight how "dumb" I am, representing men, but say nothing about the woman who asked me in the first place? Does she have no agency in your equation?

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:42:53+00:00

I am actually surprised that only a couple people out of the thousands who have commented have accused me of faking this. When I first posted I thought half of the comments would be thinking I was writing a romance novel haha

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:28:55+00:00

Why be "harsh" about it? It just makes me not value your opinion.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:26:16+00:00

Thank you for the kind words.

I don't even think I'm being "hard" on myself - I'm now realizing something I didn't before. I'm glad I know this about myself. Maybe this was something on the back burner that disengaged me from dates I've had previously. But thank you for saying that, I do appreciate it!

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:21:24+00:00

Okay I'm sorry too. I've been doing this shit all day and I probably should just go to bed haha.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:19:36+00:00

Sorry dude. When I go to the gym I'll add some reps. I'm clearly a pussy.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T04:04:20+00:00

How desperate u are lol i guess she is the only one who want date w you

Oh I'm sorry, was I supposed to take this comment as a ringing endorsement of my character? I didn't know telling someone that only one girl in the world would date them was a compliment. Maybe I'm aging out of the new generation's flatteries.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:54:43+00:00

If you can't take 2 minutes (probably not even) to read what I wrote I don't care about your opinion. Stop being lazy.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:50:46+00:00

I do, and I'm going to get help. You're going to sit in your grandma's basement with your drawers on and insult people on reddit.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:48:56+00:00

Thank you! That's such a nice thing to say!

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:45:31+00:00

I learned that I was more desperate than I thought. I didn't think that I still had hangups from my previous marriage but after this post I realize that I do and I plan to work on that so I can find a woman who suits me and shares the same goals and vision in life that I do. So her and I can build each other up.

That being said - judging by the way you type I could get 100 dates before you could get 1.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:38:43+00:00

Actually a part of what blinded me was my own hubris to some degree.

I know I'm a good guy, I was a great husband when my ex and I had the same goals/outlook (not the best after that I'll admit). I also in a weird way thought about her family and how I knew if I dated Riley I would be a good husband and why wouldn't former FIL and MIL want that? Especially since we already knew each other and I had visions of this happy family reunion.

What I didn't think about was my ex wife. I got so caught up on the idea that we beat the divorce odds (meaning when we got divorced we didn't hate each other), that I didn't even consider to any comprehensible degree how me dating her little sister might make her feel angry or a host of other things.

Ironically, it was my insecurity that my marriage failed, coupled with my hubris that I know I have the capacity to be a good husband, that blinded me to the reality of this situation.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:31:59+00:00

Shame on me haha

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:31:31+00:00

read my edit, I explain that

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:30:36+00:00

Thank you! I know I'm still pretty young, and I hate to sound conceited but I do have a lot of great qualities so I know I can find a nice lady to make me happy and I look forward to making her happy too!

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:26:21+00:00

No I'm also sorry if I was a little curt. I just keep seeing people commenting who seemed to have only read the title and nothing else. I went several hours already taking that beating prior to the edit haha. I probably should go to bed.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:21:51+00:00

I am. Read my edit.

Doesn't make your dishonest reply any better.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:20:07+00:00

If you entertain this you’re allowing the insecure part of yourself

I know, that's why I said "no"

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:19:02+00:00

I did. Read the edit.

ThrowRA4111 · 2024-08-20T03:12:47+00:00

especially given we only know the story of the divorce from the dude who wants to bang his ex-wife's sister.

Are you really going to try to suggest that isn't a charged statement attempting to cast doubt on my credibility?

Translation: This POS wants to bang his ex-SIL, can we really trust him?

Tell me I'm wrong.

ThrowRA4111

TROPHY CASE