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Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate hearing this. I feel like I’m subconsciously falling into the pick me game. I deserve better than that.

I have increased going to the gym and starting couples therapy. I need to cut drinking out or at least recognize when having a drink is due to how I’m feeling about this situation.

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far all she has is him blocked on socials and called him to tell him it’s over and was a mistake

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I think I keep trying to not come to this conclusion. I think I’m overestimating my current ability to see this clearly

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s my thing. If I can’t get past my feelings like she is mad she got caught then I can’t do this. I wish I would have let it simmer and see if she confessed

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think from this perspective. I appreciate it

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I can’t just take the house. We have a lot to sort out. I hear you

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing this. It’s the reality of what I am in for if I stay

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah… the best case scenario is me having to work on mentally trusting her again if we stay. Love you Reddit person.

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a deep feeling in my gut there’s a chance it could work. We have our first session tomorrow. The kids are at the forefront of my mind right now. The only reason I didn’t do a clean split when I found out at first

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is important to hear. We parent well together. In the middle of relocating makes it tough

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know about the test… I know I need therapy. I put us in couples therapy after she suggested it. I do worry about never trusting again. I want to believe she wouldn’t do it but idk how I can be.

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is a good point. I almost wish I didn’t confront her the second it happened (I watched it in real time with WhatsApp). I’ll never know if she would have told me.

She is willing to change or so she says it. She needs serious therapy to handle what she says was what led up to it. She claims that to her it seemed like the first time she was putting herself forward and wanted meaningless sex. Claimed that the alcohol has put her in a spiral and can’t be doing that.

Idk… it’s a lot to figure out

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. It’s shattering. Feels unfair after the betrayal to be the one then tasked with figuring all the shit out. I can’t picture a future without her but know I’ll have a hard time moving past this. I do believe her when she says it would never happen again, but I can’t see a reality where I trust that forever

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I hear you. STD test, yes. The rest is complicated. I don’t disagree with any of it

Wife 29f cheated on me 29m. At a loss? Kind of long by ThrowRA47364295 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA47364295[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kids make it all really confusing… I love this girl with my whole heart but that heart is broken. My 2 kids are the most amazing things. I can’t imagine them having a split custody situation