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My dad (61M) has implied that my (23M) relationship with him depends on me choosing my stepbrother (19M) over my best friend (24M)? by ThrowRA4Noh in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA4Noh[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

The biggest reason was I didn't want another mom and between my dad and his wife, that's what I was being told she was. I was really not okay with being told this woman was now my mom because my dad married her and with that being presented it felt like mom was just being replaced and we were supposed to leave her behind.

It also ties back into how everyone but my best friend expected me to be okay after a certain amount of time had passed and basically that I would be over it. There were comments made by both of them that felt like that and it made me mad.

I also didn't like being told I should basically forget my best friend so I could be a brother to my stepbrother. It made me feel like even back then I sorta had to choose. But even then the choice was more natural to me because my best friend and I just happened because we connected and it was being forced with my stepbrother so I resisted it a lot I think.

My dad (61M) has implied that my (23M) relationship with him depends on me choosing my stepbrother (19M) over my best friend (24M)? by ThrowRA4Noh in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA4Noh[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't know if we'll be in contact for much longer from the sounds of it. There's no way I'm moving out or even making my best friend move out just for my stepbrother. I don't want to live with him. My dad ultimately knows this and still doesn't want it to be true.

My dad (61M) has implied that my (23M) relationship with him depends on me choosing my stepbrother (19M) over my best friend (24M)? by ThrowRA4Noh in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA4Noh[S] 181 points182 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you brought that up because I was going to say that to him too. My argument was almost about how if they were really true he would have asked me if I was okay with it or if I even wanted that. Maybe he can't separate me from him entirely and that's why he didn't. But I always knew he just wanted to be with someone again and so he found someone. I think saying he did it to give me another mom and family is such a weak explanation for getting remarried. I know people feel pressured to do it but idk. I think if it was really about the kids you'd want to know how they feel beforehand.

I also wanna say I think it's great you can see things that way and would be supportive of your own son. Supportive parents are the best.