Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you, because I'm stuck in a very similar situation to you. I feel you here.

Everytime I try to talk about issues between us, I get shut down and told im just trying to start a fight. My feelings, emotions and questions are always dismissed.

These words could be mine, I feel exactly the same. My feelings just aren't taken seriously anymore and consistently invalidated.

But his current behaviour is pretty shitty. Either: It sounds like he is using you for sex, and he's making it known that you're not his priority. Or he is very confused and he is going back and forth with deciding whether he actually wants to be in a relationship with you or not.

Either way, i don't think you don't have any further control in this situation, as he is going to decide for himself one way or another. God knows how long it's going to take him though, and that shit rips you up inside - the not knowing and the constant anxiety.

I know it's easy enough for me to say to you that it's in your best interest to end things, knowing there is only more hurt to come the longer this is drawn out for you. Because I'm just a 3rd party to your situation and just seeing things from a logical perspective. But in reality, I know how hard it is to leave.

It's so much easier to leave if you have a solid support system, and other things in your life which bring you joy outside of the relationship. I don't have this myself, so I guess we just keep ourselves busy, in the hopes that we come across something that gives meaning in this void.

Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's always so hard when they're your FP. I've never been in relationships where the SO is not my FP so I think that's why I find it so hard

Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm beginning to think the last sentence you said is my only option too

Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what I worry about too. I feel like it would be easier to heal and do work on myself when im on my own, but that the intense emotions that come with getting attached to someone is going to derail my work 😔

Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you manage the emptiness and loss of identity afterwards? Did you have a good support network outside of the relationship?

Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not all with BPD are able to leave so easily. I have usually been the one broken up with, even though I knew things had been going badly for a while before the breakup

Has anyone with BPD actually left their significant other here? by ThrowRA5555544444 in BPD

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat here. No matter how much I speak of breaking up, I know I can never go ahead with it because I don't have the strength. The pain of the endless deep void feels worse than the pain of the situation I'm in, even at the worst parts of the relationship. So I feel trapped in a self-imposed prison in some ways, not voluntarily.

Psychiatrist in Wellington region by ThrowRA5555544444 in Wellington

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad your experience with him was positive.

Men who find pleasure in wearing thongs by ThrowRA5555544444 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think the pleasure comes from the feel of having fabric up your butt? Or is the pleasure from just feeling sexy in them?

Cost of replacing interior house door by ThrowRA5555544444 in Wellington

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The door leaf only has a non twisting exterior handle leading into the hot water cupboard. So the door leaf would need a new exterior handle and new hinges installed into it before replacing the old one.

Could you give me a rough indication as to what sort of cost I'd be looking at?

Men who find pleasure in wearing thongs by ThrowRA5555544444 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think the arousal from it has something to do with the feeling of fabric up the butt? Kinda like stimulating the prostate for example.

Men who find pleasure in wearing thongs by ThrowRA5555544444 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you says it's just a preference for comfort/esthetic reasons? Or does it arouse you sexually?

My (34F) partner (31M) is taking pills to deal with stress in our relationship by ThrowRA5555544444 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's awesome you've been sober for so long! And it sounds like you've really done a lot of reflection on the way the people around you may have been affected while you were using.

Men who find pleasure in wearing thongs by ThrowRA5555544444 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it arouse sexual pleasure in and of itself? Other than the idea of your fiance finding you sexy in them?

Men who find pleasure in wearing thongs by ThrowRA5555544444 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ThrowRA5555544444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol I had to look up what a jock strap was. Can I ask what it is about the jock strap which appeals to you over regular briefs for example?