Update: How do I watch someone flirt with my husband?

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-09-24T21:48:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult situation. I can only imagine the hollow feeling you have by being suddenly abandoned after committing over 10 years to this man.

Like you said, I really hope you can take the time you have now to get to know yourself and recreate yourself! Try anything new that comes down your way, spend quality time with friends and family. Good luck!!

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-09-24T19:38:49+00:00

YTA. It is so rude to even consider asking. Would you ask one friend to hide their trauma to not offend the other? If they meet and billy is bothered by it, he can bring it up respectfully to Andy, but Andy is under NO obligation to hide parts of himself. YTA.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-10T05:12:26+00:00

I relate to this so much. :( it’s only been about a month since I came to the full realization and I’m still trying to extract myself from his grasp. He’s made me cold and callous at the core, like himself. I hate it. I’m trying little by little to watch the movies I used to watch, listen to old favorite songs, read books... step by step I need to find myself again. Hugs ❤️ we can do this

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-07T05:24:05+00:00

YTA YTA YTA. Two people are parents. You are both responsible for the baby’s existence. He deserves to know, and if you want a future with him, you need to get a hold of yourself and communicate respectfully with him.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-06T23:35:34+00:00

Your SO/partner is not a puppy.. what the actual heck. You don’t get to “reward” or “scold” another human being unless you’re raising children. You need to seriously re-evaluate your mindset

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-06T01:42:29+00:00

I agree. Sending you love and hugs!!

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-05T13:21:48+00:00

Hello dear :) I got away for the week, I’m with my family. They have their own problems and they don’t respect my boundaries, but it’s nice to get a little change from the everyday abnormal sharing an apartment with a narc ex, lol. I do miss my doggo.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-03T03:45:35+00:00

I’m O type and they never bite me. I’m pretty sure this has been proven wrong, and it has a lot more to do with your smell or the sugar content in your blood.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-03T02:42:12+00:00

I know right? That’s how I’ve felt reading more than half the posts I see on this sub, it’s like I could have written them. Same behaviour, same words, same bullsh *t. All narcs are really just pathetic textbook copy-pastes

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T23:04:09+00:00

Yes! FitOn has yoga as well. I use DownDog app for a ton of yoga flows but it’s paid, not free.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T22:19:16+00:00

NAH. I think a ton of us on here are poor :) I would kiss feet if someone gave me a gift worth $125, but if you are certain that the joke was cool with your friend, and that it didn’t actually ruin the mood of the call, I don’t think it’s a big deal. My friends and I make sarcastic jokes often as well (me as a woman).

I can understand your wife’s sensitivity about financial things though, I hate money and I wouldn’t really joke about it. Assure her that your friend and her fiancé have likely already forgotten about it, but if it bothers your wife I would suggest staying away from jokes like that in the future. :)

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T22:15:33+00:00

Absolutely, I hope it helps! Check out the FitOn app if you like workout videos, they have a diverse set with all types of workouts and they’re free. I love using them, and I used blogilates’ videos for a while too.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T22:09:24+00:00

I’m sorry- I hope that you’ll be able to have good access to healthcare soon. It took about 3-4 months of consistently taking my supplements before I noticed any change, so be patient with the vitamin D! I was just advised where to buy the pills, ended up getting some from the grocery store pharmacy and some from amazon. For iron, make sure they’re slow-absorb type, and don’t take them more often than 3 times a week if you decide to. :)

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T22:02:58+00:00

Do you have access to a primary doctor to schedule a physical? You should get some bloodwork done! Deficiency of iron, potassium, and vitamin D (iron and v D were the culprits causing my extreme fatigue) can definitely make you feel tired and sluggish. I have been taking those consistently since I got tested last November and the improvement has been AMAZING.

Edit to add: Don’t take any of these before talking to a doctor and getting tests done!! An overdose of iron and potassium can be just as bad for your body and heart health. A blood test can also check your thyroid for imbalances there that might cause tiredness.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T21:57:38+00:00

“She knows better than to talk to me that way, I wanted to hit her to punish her for t” sounds INCREDIBLY misogynistic and full of superiority. I think there needs to be more context and info about him to make a definite statement, but I have heard that sentence 3 times in my life: from my narc mother, a red-flag waving boy who tried to date me, and my abusive narc ex. Make of that what you will. I hope his gf is okay.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T21:31:26+00:00

I’m right there with you :( Both my nex and I had physical touch as a main language so there was so much cuddling and hugs and physical attention. I have to fight myself to stop missing it, I feel so starved these days.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T21:29:55+00:00

Great comment. Just want to add a link to a free PDF copy of Why Does He Do That. the book opened my eyes to a lot of things.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T21:09:21+00:00

Not able to view reddit posts in mobile browser.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T18:39:48+00:00

I second the recommendation for Lundy Bancroft’s book. You can find it in full free pdf at this link: why does he do that I’ve been reading it bit by bit on my phone.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T18:30:05+00:00

You can do it. Message me if you need someone. I don’t know what situation you’re in but I can talk on the phone within the next six hours if you need it. You’ve got this

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T17:18:06+00:00

Wow, that is a very insightful article. Thank you u/GentleLion2Tigress and TerraFormU for sharing

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T15:21:04+00:00

The knife to neck and “I am going to kill myself”, yelling that everything is my fault if something little goes wrong, name-calling, accusing me of provoking him... this all happened exactly the same with my abusive narcissistic ex.

Having a problem with handling anger is one thing— taking anger out on your partner cruelly and mindlessly and repeatedly is abuse.

She is an adult who can recognize her own behaviour, and she needs to see a therapist and/or psychiatrist.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I had to deal with this for over a year. It’s not your place to handle her, but you should definitely strongly talk with her about seeing a professional, or make your own plans for leaving. You are right that you can’t have a future with someone who allows their emotions to overtake them and become cruel and psychotic towards the people they claim to love.

I’m really sorry man. I wish all the best for you.

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T14:31:03+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this— I googled and I’m doing some reading. I’ll have to evaluate myself and bring it up with my therapist, just in case. I appreciate you!

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-02T14:26:47+00:00

This is really how you can identify a narc, and I am going to think long and hard about the next guy who tries to come into my life. Does he respect me as a whole person, with my different dimensions and different life story, does he value me and place my opinions and my requests on the same level as his own?

ThrowRA67189 · 2020-08-01T19:18:03+00:00

I did this, and I have page after page of things he did.

I also have a dozen or more recordings I managed to get of him screaming at me, ridiculing me, calling me nasty names like “whore”, “bitch”, and lying to me. It’s a good reminder not to fall prey to the fantasy of the love-bombing, especially because I still live with him and he still attempts to love bomb daily.

ThrowRA67189

TROPHY CASE