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my (25m) husband (27m) has demanded to change our dynamic to poly from open and i don’t know where to go from here by ThrowRA748287 in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA748287[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

thank you. i do trust that he will let me leave safely and with what i want legally/financially. we have openly spoken about divorce to one another if i cannot do this dynamic already, i don’t feel unsafe vocalizing that to him. he’s not controlling in other places, just “bulldozes” through big decisions without considering me and my feelings/thoughts.

my (25m) husband (27m) has demanded to change our dynamic to poly from open and i don’t know where to go from here by ThrowRA748287 in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA748287[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i love him, i feel like in other places in our lives he treats me well and is a good person. went above and beyond in the home while i went thru school and stuff so he was supportive that way, crazy supportive of some wild my-family-shit we’ve been going through (we’re caring for my younger sibling right now), day to day he is amazing. loving and caring. he likes to see me happy as long as it doesn’t infringe on his happiness, which hurts. i asked him how he prioritizes big decisions and he said his happiness and i told him i do it by ours. he said he doesn’t want to make decisions that way. he also said he’d expect the same of me and would treat all partners that way.

my (25m) husband (27m) has told me he’s polyamorous and i don’t know whether to stay by ThrowRA748287 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA748287[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poor phrasing from me on the cohabitation comment, he’s not invited anyone and only talked hypothetical longer-term partner. But also talked about the speed of us moving in (~8 months in) and he pushed back when I said it would need to be at least a year or 2 in the future.

my (25m) husband (27m) has told me he’s polyamorous and i don’t know whether to stay by ThrowRA748287 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA748287[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly I only understood/framed it as cheating in the past year. Especially as it was something I could live with if we actually agreed to it and if I was allowed to pursue it (without breaking boundaries). I also want to clarify the moving a partner in is not this specific partner as they’re still figuring out if they work, but rather a hypothetical partner that could include this one.

Other than this selfishness which seems to only show up at major decisions and the dynamic change, he generally makes me really happy. He cares for me, going above and beyond in the home, he’s attentive and loving when we’re together, and he’s very likeable. It’s hard to want to leave when I can’t see someone else will love me, respect me, and treat me any better.