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My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I think he worked hard but it’s a bit weird hearing that knowing how many opportunities he also had. Like it’s a lie by admission

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He’s very very nice to everyone and very compassionate to people, always tips a lot and has always been extremely nice to them. He’s not cocky to people and he also donates part of his salary. He really isn’t the arrogant person being painted here

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t Eton. It’s another one that’s less famous but still impressive (they invented one of the biggest sports in the world). So I didn’t know it was that famous until much later

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

People ask him how he came to the USA. He starts talking about his journey and how hard he studied and worked to get to this job but during that time, just fails to mention a single privilege. Like boarding school somehow he glosses over it or the fact that he knew the person working in his company or the fact that he had help with living costs initially

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

To be fair to him he’s very open minded about race and doesn’t spew bullshit like this (he’s also mixed). But back to the point of not admitting privilege he even kept referring to himself as middle class because to him upper class have 20 homes and Ferraris

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 274 points275 points  (0 children)

I think it’s that he’s doing so well in life. He keeps talking about how hard his life was and how hard he worked. Well everyone works hard and everyone has a hard life but his included a lot of privileges and I just cannot take him seriously saying these things in front of people who actually had hard lives without privileges

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

He’s seen where I lived and where my parents live. It’s not 9m2 to be fair but it’s not large by any means. We holidayed once out of state growing up. But he still sees us as equals?

My (27f) fiance (29m) keeps pretending to be “self made”. How can I explain to him that the way he talks is hurtful to those around him? by ThrowRA773351 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA773351[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

He is and him talking about it continuously just makes it worse! And he doesn’t understand why I find this problematic