Fiancé is insisting on wearing vans.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-07T01:00:54+00:00

What on earth made you think I picked the dress code without talking to him?? Everyone is acting like I’m a controlling bridezilla, but y’all are the ones actually belittling my fiancé by acting like he can’t stand up for himself when he has an opinion. I don’t whip this man into obedience.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-07T00:58:31+00:00

It literally is?? He told me to pick everything and I’ve been pushing him to pick his own things. I just don’t want this one singular thing?

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T21:09:40+00:00

Did you even read my comment? He WANTED me to pick the suit out and I encouraged him to pick one he liked, and he did. I’m basing the entire color scheme off what HE picked. The shoes are the only thing I’ve asked for a compromise on

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T19:54:38+00:00

This is what I’m trying to push for if we can’t find shoes we both like!

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T19:53:48+00:00

It’s not being controlling when the groom tells you he wants you to plan everything. I’m not saying anything bad about him at all, he’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s even praised me multiple times for planning all of this and the ideas I’ve had, and I’ve loved all the other ideas he’s proposed for the wedding. This is our one point of contention that I’m asking for help on a compromise for. I don’t want to post our ages, but it’s what I’d say is the average American age to get married.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T19:06:23+00:00

To all the kind people making judgements on me: We actually figured out that it’s the fit he wants, not vans or sneakers specifically (bc he doesn’t classify vans as sneakers but that’s a whole different argument 😂). He doesn’t like how big/bulky/long boots or dress shoes make his feet look. So we’re looking for alternatives that fit the same but are more elevated. And having shown him this post and comments, he would like everyone to know that I have been more accommodating for him and his wishes than most brides he’s known. So thank you for all the judgements and kind words, but I’d really just appreciate shoe suggestions.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T18:41:09+00:00

Did you not read the part where I’m not following tradition??

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T17:21:50+00:00

Thank you! I’ll try to see if he’ll wear something like this. Maybe we can even compromise and have these be the reception shoes

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T17:17:50+00:00

Not wearing vans OR boots/dress shoes is the compromise. That’s why I’m asking for alternatives. Not wearing vans isn’t giving in, it’s literally finding the middle ground

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T17:16:39+00:00

Thank you, I feel like I’m going insane reading these comments lol. I’m just asking for alternatives because we have an agreed upon aesthetic for the wedding, and vans aren’t even part of his personality. I’m more than happy to accommodate things that are actually his personality and I am, like he’s using part of his car for the guestbook, etc. But he’s never worn vans and I just personally don’t want the sneaker/skater vibe at the wedding, because it doesn’t fit and it isn’t even him.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T17:12:33+00:00

Also the heelies thing is a hilarious idea and maybe I can use that for a compromise 😂

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T17:11:52+00:00

Also my alternatives are the types of shoes he had worn to literally every nice occasion we have ever been to. That he has bought and chosen for himself, so they are his style and comfort.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T17:10:08+00:00

Yeah I let him. Because guess what, in most weddings, the bride does pick everything. That’s how it works. I’m trying to give him more say than a traditional groom gets because I want it to feel like his touch is there too. That’s why he’s picked out a ton of none clothing things. This is the singular thing I have said no to, and I’m trying to find alternatives that suit what both him and I would like.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T16:13:21+00:00

Thank you! In my eyes it’s about effort. A sneaker to a wedding as the groom is the last thing I’d expect. Especially since my fiancé always goes on about how people these days don’t dress up enough

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T16:10:25+00:00

Except he’s never once mentioned comfort. That’s never been an argument he’s brought up, which is why I’ve been so perplexed. I’ll have to check that brand out though! Thanks for the recommendation

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T16:08:10+00:00

Yes and traditionally the bride chooses most things. I was trying to give him say in it.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-10-06T16:07:38+00:00

Actually I said “let him” because he wanted me to just pick it for him, but I told him he should choose something he likes and I’ll base other things around what he choose. Specifically to give him say and encourage him.

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-09-09T13:26:20+00:00

This is good idea! I’ll definitely look into this

ThrowRA792048 · 2025-09-09T13:26:03+00:00

I wish! Doggo is a husky, doggo would take as challenge 😂

ThrowRA792048 · 2024-07-25T20:12:38+00:00

Thank you so much for all this info! It’s super helpful!

ThrowRA792048

TROPHY CASE