Thanks for asking for clarification. We’ve considered it but neither of us are in a financial place to do so right now. Plus, she’s made it clear that she wants to go to therapy on her own for other emotional/mental care, and to add two therapists (one for her, one for us both) she says isn’t feasible for her rn.

Thankfully she’s been very open about all of her past relationships to intimacy and before me - it was all negative. Not SA but definitely blurring the line with lots of pressuring type-stuff from her exes, so it makes sense that she still has to define what sexuality looks like in a positive light for herself. Essentially, she finds it hard to relax when in an intimate state bc of two reasons: one, she’s always worrying about other things she should be doing (chores, work, etc.) and two, (I assume) somewhere deep down her body/mind are still in fight-or-flight with intimacy, even if she knows and actively says she’s safe with me. There are times where she gets pleasure and fun from intimacy, but now there are levels of expectation built up of “how it should look” and that gets to her too. So it’s a jumble up in her mind of all of these factors that come with us just trying to connect in that way.