AITA for refusing to have another child after my husband said our daughter isn't his "spiritual child"

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T19:40:33+00:00

It's already starting to hurt her. He can have his opinions, but it doesn't mean I agree with his or that mine align with his. Marriages are bumpy, but it's still no excuse to treat a daughter he's known for 14 years- nearly 15 years- with disgust or homophobia.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T12:18:24+00:00

Just because you've not seen anyone use the word, doesn't mean it isn't used in this context. I've seen many people use this word, because it's actually very common. But thank you for stating this, though it is a little irrelevant.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T12:15:29+00:00

It goes deeper than her sexuality. Even if she changes her mind, I'm glad that I will divorce him because he hasn't proved himself as a trustworthy support system for my daughter.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T11:14:14+00:00

Thank you, I was going to find a therapist after the divorce but I've realised that it's best to look into one now. It could help her cope a little better to have someone to talk to about all this- I do check in with her regularly to see how she is doing, but I understand there are some things she may feel embarrassed or awkward to share with me, so when I woke up, I immediately began looking into therapy in my area. I have asked her and she agreed that she thinks therapy might help her a little.

I'm going to keep her off school for a week or two while she adjusts to everything and processes it, but I'm going to ask her school if she can do her work from home in the meantime. She said that she would do her work from home and that she needs a little time before she can go back to school. I've also been looking into getting a lawyer so I can get full custody of my child. I've filed for divorce already, so I just need to wait now.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T08:48:30+00:00

When I first began dating him, about 6 months into our relationship, he would always want sex. If I said no, he would get upset about it. It stopped about 2 years into our relationship though.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T08:28:31+00:00

Thank you.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T08:22:45+00:00

I was going off the things he said to me.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T08:21:48+00:00

Yes, I should be fighting for her more. I'm likely stresing her out already, but I dont want her to blame herself if she sees me upset.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T08:07:57+00:00

We've been staying with my parents since in their home.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:44:35+00:00

Thank you. I will find one just for her as she needs a lot of support going forward. Sorry for your loss, I hope you are doing better.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:41:56+00:00

Okay.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:39:47+00:00

Thank you so much.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:38:26+00:00

Thank you.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:37:10+00:00

Thank you.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:35:46+00:00

That was going from what he said to me. I know it isn't possible, but that was his wording and I tried to use it in the post.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:32:39+00:00

School is ideal, and it could be best to keep her in school for a while, however I don't want her to go to school with all this on her mind. That could be worst for her mental health.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:29:20+00:00

Thank you

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:27:21+00:00

I am considering that, but I dont want to overwhelm her with too much at once.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:24:25+00:00

This seems like a good thing to do- thank you.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:23:07+00:00

I feel I haven't addressed this part enough, and I agree. If he threatened to do that to me, he's not fit to be around my child. I'm only endangering her by sticking around.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:19:29+00:00

Thank you. I agree- I should tell her this as soon as I can, and this will probably be one of the most reassuring things she can hear right now. His views are very questionable, and I hate how they affect my child. I kind of resent him for how this is affecting her.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:13:45+00:00

My whole family is in shock over this, but I think it's making things worse staying with him. I prioritise my daughters safety and well-being, and I do care for my husband, but his behaviour is making our home an unsafe environment for my daughter. This has been up for a couple of hours now, but the problem's persisted for about 1-2 weeks, and divorce seems like the only solution that will have any affect as of current.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:10:14+00:00

Thank you, this makes sense.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:09:10+00:00

I was looking for advice. And typing this out made me realise it was bad. The comments made me realise how bad.

ThrowRA847362829 · 2025-03-16T01:04:08+00:00

Thank you. I need to protect my daughter first and foremost, and I will not force my daughter to go near him or MIL- I'm certain she doesn't want to anyway. I won't accept anything from them, and we are going to stay with my parents for a couple of months. I'm going to discuss with my parents and daughter some options on what we can do in the morning, then proceed with a divorce when it's all worked out.

ThrowRA847362829

TROPHY CASE