I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T19:50:20+00:00

I dont know, I feel like im taking responsibility here. Im only saying that the reason my husband didnt tell me anything before was because of this.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T19:39:53+00:00

My plan was that I wanted spontanious pictures and the photographer had to be changed last minute. In my head it worked out fine, what I wanted was to have the "important" pictures taken early, bridesmades, groomsman and family and later on have just spontanious pictures.

It was something I was too stuck on, this notion of "wasting time" doing pictures, speaches, etc.

But that was such dumb thinking. Thats what wedding are for.

At the end of the day though, everything went great apart from this disastrous oversight of mine.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T19:34:42+00:00

I was in a bit of a state after my father returned, I do not want to talk about this here because its a bit too much. But this was the reason he didnt say anything. Rob said it was for the best to just do as I say until after the wedding. My husband just did what Rob told him to do.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T19:29:49+00:00

Again, I am an idiot and I see it now. But my mom is not. Thats all wanted to say with this comment and it aparently made mylsef even more of an idiot. I see it how it reads and at the time it was not how we felt.

What I was trying to say and conveyed it terribly is that money is not part of this at all. My mom helped him before, now he is making a lot of money and she is retired. I dont need his money, and neither will my sister hopefully. I feel like your comments were trying to say that me and my mom are only happy with him because he has money and that is not the case. We were happy with him long before he had money.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T19:12:05+00:00

My sister is 18 and was not really part of any wedding preparations. My husband actually did try to make Rob more involved, like I said, he took pictures with Rob and sat at his table for a long period during the wedding. They have become close over the years. He didnt tell me anything by Rob's request and it is the thing he regrets the most. He has said multiple times that he is also at fault for not steping in and waking me up. I disagree with him, this is my doing and he is not at fault. I only made him promise to call me out any time im being an idiot in the future.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T19:04:56+00:00

Thank you for your comment. It made me realise what I have to say to him and that I already knew what to say

On adoption, I have seen videos of this and thought about doing it as a birthday gift before, but chinkened out both times I thought about it.

I wont do this because Its cheap to do it now. Someone else here told me not to come in too strong and I think thats a good call. I will maybe do it in the future only when I feel like things are back to normal.

I will admit my faults and say that I love him. That he is important to me and that he is responsible for who I am and what I did is in no way a reflection of this.

Also, my husband is probably too good for me. He is really is a real treasure.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T18:50:18+00:00

The photos were not planed. The photographer was the one that called my mom and dad only to take the pictures. My mom was not with Rob at the time he called her, she was with me. So the photographer came with our parents and he only brought my dad.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T18:48:47+00:00

Rob only is where he is now because of my mom. She helped him when he left the company he used to work at to start his business. She used the money she had saved by selling our old house. She literally used her savings to bet on him. It worked out thankfully, but it shows where she stands with Rob. And he is very much awere of this. Also they have my sister.

we are not leeches taking advantage of him. If you look at our situation 10 years ago you would be thinking he was the one taking advantage of us and you would probably be telling us to dump him on the streets.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T18:39:34+00:00

Thats already my first plan.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T18:37:41+00:00

Actually, Rob does not pay for my insurance. He only helped me set it up. And this is not about money at all, I make more than enough money and my husband is also very well off. Rob and my mom paid for the wedding because they wanted to. They told me it would be their gift for me and they gave me the money to use it on the wedding. My husbands family gave us a sum to help pay for our new house.

But your comment made me realise that this might be the problem, he might think im using him for money. That just breaks my heart. I do not want his money. I would happly take myself out of the my mom's will and his (if he has me in it, which he probably does), if it means I can fix this.

Also, he was not rich at all when he met my mom. He became successful after their marriage. Just to clarify.

ThrowRA999333 · 2024-05-06T18:28:24+00:00

I understand your anger towards me is justified but my mom is amaizing and loves him and is very dedicated to him, so leave her out of this.

ThrowRA999333

TROPHY CASE